in-gratitude

Goodbye forever.

2009-01-07T21:20:00.006+08:00

I admit, LJ is pulling me towards it ): so sad luh.
WHY CAN'T BLOGGER BE MORE LIKE LJ?
Anyway, I'm going to move to LJ permanently, unless I'm pissed off by it/I get bored by LJ [which is pretty difficult].
BUT, if you tag here, I'll post tag replies, cause I'm planning to keep my blogger (:

Well, this is it.
GOODBYE BLOGGER, HELLO LJ.
clickclickclick
Relink.

xoxo
mandy

And if we turned back.

2009-01-04T16:45:00.002+08:00

Hey hello.

Went to watch Ponyo with Andro, Isabel and Si Hui yesterday at The Cathay. It's really cute haha! Not bad really, and it's definitely much better than The Little Mermaid [which it was based on]. There were a few parts when Ponyo looked really scary, but most of the time, she looked cute.
After the movie, we went to Black Alice, but apparently, there was a private function. So we couldn't get in ):

Anyway, I dragged all of them to Wood Would! It's such a cute shop, I really want to buy the entire place down. I was planning to get the planner there, but they all cost around $50 and the cheapest one only had weeklies. So in the end, I splurged $20 on a notebook for who know what, and went home and realised Grace wanted to go stationery shopping at artbox.

Anyway, those assholes decided that I was letting cosplay get to my head and decided that after yesterday, there would be no more going out on weekends [?!?!?!?]. Absolutely pissed off, also because of another matter. So now, I probably can't cosplay for SOY rawrr. Maybe during holidays, but not SOY ):
FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.
AND ANOTHER BUNCH OF ASSHOLES.

Lj is difficult to use, but I spent 4 hours messing around with it and now it's fine (:
No telling whether I'd move there or not haha.
xoxo
mandy

You better let me go.

2009-01-02T23:00:00.004+08:00

First day back and it was uhm, pretty scary.
I wasn't really myself today though. I don't know what's with all the fake high [and some random dancing], but I was blurry the whole day and I had a lot of energy to get rid of.

New class was fine, but they do stuff really efficiently. I'll bet I scared off the class today with random shouting, but I was shocked 'cause apparently, we already have a class blog and they're already thinking about the class tee. Haha, all I can say is, 211 is definitely not like this, and I'll bet I'd be at the bottom of my class with all my slow-ness.
I mean, it's good, just not used to it haha. Even though I never thought 211 was a fantastic class, it was my comfort zone and I really loved it, especially when I sat next to Lois and I had a chair for my bag so it wouldn't get dirty. And all the safe, fun gossip too, about teachers and other people, so much that Cheryl would scold us [if she didn't join in]. I MISS MY TABLEPARTNERS AND THE OTHER 211-ERS ):

Well, new class isn't bad. It's just very efficient. Guess it's cause of HP, so everyone's like bangbangabang while I'm like, bang*pause*bang. Oh no, I need a planner ):
Haha, new class people do seem nice. I mean, I haven't talked to most of them [save for those I already know], but they seem nice. Our class seems the normal-est one suddenly.

Oh well, movies with Isabel, Andro, Cassy and Si Hui tomorrow, then off to Black Alice to look at stuff. Hopefully I can have a mini spree at Wood Would, and get a pretty pretty planner.
And maybe if I still have money, I'd go watch Nick and Norah or another movie with LS when we have the time.
I realised Sec 3 is going to be a fucking busy year.

Goodbye life and hello hell.
xoxo
mandy

You haven't told me anything.

2009-01-01T22:29:00.003+08:00

New Year. Ha, don't really care.

ANYWAY, resolutions! Apparently, it's easier to keep three resolutions [I saw long lists everywhere] and I've decided to be lazy, so here goes.

Resolutions for '09
1. Save up at least $5 at the end of each week [so that I can fund my cosplay and whatnot]
2. Run every monday morning for half an hour unless I'm really sick.
3. Get a planner and STICK TO IT.

Yups, that's it. Of course, I have more, but those are the most important ones (:
Oh well, new class, new cliques, new friends, new juniors. Everything's going to change this year, I can feel it.
I'm just not sure whether it's positive or negative.

Before I go, there's this video on Caitlin's blog [SHE MOVED O:] that I've taken. It's really really cute! Watch it!

Well, ttfn! I'm pretty sure those ~~kiasu~~ anxious parents of the new Sec Ones are going to create a massive jam tomorrow morning.
xoxo
mandy

Break my heart again, love.

2008-12-31T16:52:00.003+08:00

WWW with Beth, Teresa and YM yesterday was fun. Crazy obsessions, scary slides, weird lifeguards, running around like crazy women and drunk moments [mostly from me] pretty much made the day. I really didn't want to go home at the end of it all. Somehow, I just didn't want to go home to my family yesterday. I guess anywhere is better than home. If only I told my parents that it was overnight, I'd probably crash Zoey/Andro's place [They're the only people I can ever think that wouldn't call my parents under these circumstances]. But still, thanks to those three, I really enjoyed the whole thing. If only more people came.
Anywayy, by the time I got home, I was so tired that I slept for 14 hours straight. Haha stupid Amanda.

I'm planning to do a Jigoku Shoujo cosplay later in 2009. Time to save up more money/borrow more money.
It'd hopefully be easier cause she doesn't have any expressions most of the time. The costume and contacts can also be ordered and I can make the straw doll [with strings/wire, spray paint and lacquer] myself, so it all comes down to whether I want to buy the wig or just cut and grow my hair.

Today last year, I was in Escape with Adelyn, Grace and Susi. Today, I spent my time looking for my jigoku shoujo costume. Things have changed I guess (:

I feel so empty.
xoxo
mandy

Alice Malice

2008-12-29T22:40:00.006+08:00

Back from HK.

The shopping was nothing to shout about, really, 'cause the prices there are only slightly cheaper than SG 'cause of the exchange rate. Andand yes, the items at Ladies' Street [or something like that] were so cheap I could puke, it was something like a SG pasar malaam. With pasar malaam quality so yea. But anyway, I still bought stuff from there [a super cute plaid skirt! and some gifts and two hats] Oh and to Cotton On which had a superawesome sale and bought a shirt dress and a pair of earrings. Went to Times Square to look at Gucci bags with mom and fell in love with the Tatoo Hearts Collection. Would totally love the person who bought one of the bags/wallet/shoes from that Collection. Didn't buy anything from Gucci in the end and walked around the mall and realised it was a High End shopping place. Went to look for new school shoes in Adidas and Nike and New Balance, but decided to buy in SG. Got pissed off and majorly tired from walking around [I just went to Disneyland the day before] so I bugged my mom to let me go into Converse to have a look at the sneakers. Wanted to buy a pair but then was in no mood until I saw a supersuperawesome bag and went to get it. It wasn't really cheap though, but it's not out yet in SG [I think], so I love it a lot (:
Didn't get to buy my wigs! There were wig shops EVERYWHERE but I couldn't find the wigs I wanted like whattheblah. Fyi, I want a long, straight black wig with bangs and a long staight blonde wig with bangs, so you can get it for a post-christmas gift (:

Anyway, the only thing I liked was actually the food and Disneyland. The food was omgoshlikefuckingawesome compared to normal SG food. And somehow, the food there all tasted pretty awesome, even in Disneyland. Okay, Disneyland food was just what you get in SG, but that's good enough. Anyway, the desserts there was just fantastic. It's like heaven in your mouth [okay, sounds wrong].
Haha Grace Koh Kah Shin is preventing me from finishing this post efficiently xD
Anyway, food was just awesomely great. Can't say enough. And Disneyland was itsybitsy, and the rides were boring, but somehow, I have always loved that dreamy feel when I touch down on Disneyland. The atmosphere was just there and the fireworks was so pretty it almost made me cry.
And I realised that I really love the story of Alice in the Wonderland. Somehow, it's the saddest story ever 'cause that girl wakes up and finds out it was all just a dream.
Andand the entrance was so dreamy. There was a board that said
Today you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow and fantasy.
So pretty (:

Anyway, I went home and called Teresa to get details about chalet. Turns out VERY few people are going for WWW rawr.
And it seems that this trip had lots of eye candy. In the streets of HK all the way to the trip back. And even though most of them have girlfriends, I THINK THE COUPLES LOOK SO DAMN CUTE. Not like in SG where couples are more often than not ugly with good looking, but there, it's just good looking with good looking (:

John Legend is the sex :3 but I still want the Killers, FOB, Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse.
And thanks CHEWY! For the awesome christmas card you got for me! Love you lots!
Ttfn, shall go sleep soon.

[/edit]
Just noticed that Grace asked me to do a quiz (: I'm so nice luh!

According to your age, list down the number of things that most people don't know about you. And then tag 5 people.

1. I think people who are scared of cosplayers are stupid.
2. I think bgrs are so overrated.
3. I USED TO want to be bulimic.
4. Self-photography actually makes me happy when I'm sad.
5. I puke whenever I see food that disgusts me.
6. I puke when I eat food that is too oily.
7. I used to be overweight.
8. I have always wanted to switch to xanga/lj but have been too lazy.
9. At one point, I wanted to be a manicurist.
10. I love desserts and can't stop myself from eating them.
11. I cook better without people staring at me.
12. I have shopped for more than 10 hours until I had muscleache the next day.
13. I have a silly infatuation with lomo cameras.
14. I want to retire before 35.

Tag: Andro, Qiu Luan, Lin Sha, Teresa, Shu Hui

xoxo
mandy

Let's love.

2008-12-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

Haha don't misunderstand my post title (:
But I'm serious, I feel so love-y to everyone now.

John Legend's voice is so f-ing sexy. [I'm on a campaign to keep my blog unblocked on school computers (:] It makes me think of love everytime I listen to it.

Okay, I used to be against the idea of love. I still am, but it's only between those of couples. Love in other forms, like how I love my friends, how I'd love songs that make me feel good.
Zomg, strangers in Hong Kong better be wary of a girl who'd suddenly go up to them and say "I love everyone!".
Okay, I won't, but I feel like doing it in Singapore (: In my school maybe. Or when I go shopping.
Haha, crazy much.

Which reminds me of an irritating fact that I'm flying off to Hong Kong in 12 hours.
I don't want to go! I want to go for cca chalet. The only thing I look forward to is the crazy shopping [I hope I won't be disappointed] and Disneyland for good use of the new camera.

Anyway, Grace Koh Kah Shin, YOU'RE SO SWEET LUH! ILYVM!
This lady here sent me a sms all the way from who-knows-where in Malaysia saying very nice stuff (:
Haha, I MISS YOU A LOT TOO, DARLING! I've just realised we've been through so much and we're not going to be in the same class anymore ): No doubt there were a lot of downs, but the ups were good and happy too (: Come back soon! I'll try to get you a Christmas present.
Okay, I'll try to get Christmas present for all good friends.
Haha this is like the 5498275024832740982nd time I've typed out Grace's full name xD
Ahh, I miss my friends so much! Even cca people whom I've just seen a few days back.
Not to mention the IJ people who have gone through crazy times with me.

I LOVE EVERYONE SO VERY MUCH. Even eye-candies whom I haven't seen for ages [in the you-make-me-happy way, you sickos], even people I've only met once for events and will never see them again.
Maybe it's just the Christmas spirit.
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year everyone (:
Amanda loves all of you.

Hong Kong hello, Singapore goodbye.
xoxo
mandy

Like velvet

2008-12-20T15:44:00.005+08:00

Back from cca camp (:

Haha, first cca camp! It was really good, thanks to all the people who planned it [the Sec Threes] and I think there was some inter batch bonding etc.
But I hardly got any sleep on both nights -_-

First day was mainly rehearsals and more rehearsals. And then we had to bathe, and I freaked Teresa out by telling her we're not supposed to look up to the ceiling of the washroom cause apparently, some ghost would come [HAHA], and the Sec Ones freaked the two of us out by turning off the lights in the washroom, so it was freaking pitch black and scary omg.
We had an Amazing race that night and my group totally pawned. We won first for everything xD
The fun-est part was looking for our missing group person [which was Daphne]. They hid all three missing persons behind a door leading to a creepy staircase and me and Teresa went to check behind the door. Teresa was damn freaked luh, so she didn't even look behind the door then she screamed and ran away like a headless chicken and left me there screaming away [which made her scream more] and I thought Daphne was a ghost so I screamed louder xD And we were the first to find our group member yay!
It was so bad when we had to go sleep, cause the floor was freaking hard and the fan was blowing directly above me and I think Yuan Ming kicked me in the middle of the night, so I woke up and couldn't sleep.
And I swear, Teresa's iPod was so loud I could hear the song playing. In the end I slept for like 3 hours only and woke up to Yan Ying's alarm clock which was playing "Girlfriend" like zomg.

Second day was okay too. In the morning we climbed Bukit Timah hill and ate breakfast and played murderer on the summit. Was the detective in the first round, and I totally solved the case (: Was killed really fast in the second round [RAWR] and Amanda Ong was such a brilliant murderer luh. No one knew it was her til the end. Watched a movie at night and also a play Mr Ng directed. The movie was damn gross luh, like wtf, and the play was...even worse than Scarlet in terms of being easy to understand. But the actors in it were damn good and everything, so it was okay.
Again, we slept pretty late cause we played daidi [was on a winning streak :D] and murderer before being chased off to sleep.
And even then I couldn't sleep cause Teresa and Yuan Ming made me laugh so hard [can't remember why] and I just kept laughing at stupid stuff like Bethanie's weird counting and Yi Jing saying something about the fan's weird speed. And Yuan Ming statred being all high, but after a while she finally shut up and I went to sleep (:

Couldn't remember much about the third day though. Woke up to some weird tuo diao song and had running, rehearsal and touchrugby which was violent cause everyone was bent on attacking other people. Someone pulled UP my shirt and I fell D: Haha and everyone just ran towards Yuan Ming and Ying Ci cause they always had the ball.
Hmm, then had a montage and some debrief and phototaking. Then home-d with Yi Jing on my car and she came over to take stuff and eat lunch at Subway. Was in laughing fits again when she told me lots of weird stuff xD

Today is so stoner luh ): I'd have to pack for Hong Kong later. I really don't want to go! I want to go to Japan! I'd rather go for cca next week ):
And I'm coming back on the night of Grad Night chalet, so I don't even know if I can make it RAWR. Why do I have to go to Hong Kong for a bloody week, when I can go for 6 days ):

Must remember to get shorts for Teresa and other stuff. I realised I've only got little bags, so after CNY, I wanna go out with someone [maybe Andro or another person good to shop with like Cheryl or maybe even Teresa] and get that bag I saw in Bugis. Maybe I'll go with Andro, since she wants the same bag too (:

I need money. Honestly, I want money for Christmas.
Well, ILYVM everyone! Merry Xmas, in case I don't post tomorrow before I leave.
xoxo
mandy

This is when I got off the bus.

2008-12-15T22:14:00.003+08:00

Heyy people (:
EOY Cosfest was absocoolios! I wasn't a good misamisa [so many other good misamisas out there haha] but it was fun (:
~~Okay, will talk more about it later. PICTURES NOW. [So you can skip my post if you want]~~

OMG, blogger takes forever to load images like whattheblah, so I think no pictures for now until I'm free/not lazy enough to post pictures. But you can totally get pictures from me via msn (: Which I would, unless I'm busy.

Anyway, this was my first cosplay event "cosplaying" [I was taking a lot of pictures. And not doing a good job with my cosplay. Ask around, I WAS A MISAMISA WITH BLACK HAIR ):]
Still, it was really cool! I did get asked for pictures [but it wasn't a lot haha], and it's really cool looking at other good cosplayers (:
I swear, when I get to HK, I MUST BUY BUCKLE BOOTS. AND A BLONDE WIG.
Anyway, people did regconise me as misamisa haha (: Andro got mistaken for a guy character HAHA.
And there was just too many Vampire Knight cosplayers! Everywhere you look, you see VK. Haha, Andro's friend Iva was doing one of the characters there too.

We went to malan lamian for lunch :D Haha, I think kids were scared of Andro and her blue hair, and the few of us who were cosplaying too.

Then met up with Yi Jing [who was cosplaying as a code geass character] and went in before she did. [all right, I went in really early and just went out for lunch]

And we saw a Death Note group! I didn't get to take the picture of Near though RAWR. BUT, there was Light, Misa, L, Mello, randomgundamgirl, and Matt :D which I don't often see so yea (:
And there was a HUGE NARUTO GROUP! LIKE HUGE AS IN 47-PEOPLE HUGE.
And they won the best group cosplay of course (: Their skit was so good like wtf!

We didn't dance Caramelldansen [RAWR] in the convention, but me, Andro and Cassy [Andro's friend] did a three person dance HAHA. My feet were aching like whattheblah, but oh well. I mean, 10 hours in heels. It totally killed me ):

Hmm, and we went to eat in burger king. Haha we got extra fries so we passed it to the other code geass people :D so nice luh.
Haha, I realise I sound pretty dead.

Okay, there were 8 of us, and only half of us cosplayed O:
Uh Me: Misamisa [DN]
Andro: Road Kamelot [D.Gray Man]
Yi Jing: Anya [Code Geass]
Iva: Yuki [VK]
SO DIVERSE!

(: Shall post pictures soon.
And Yi Jing wants a photoshoot! I hope we can do one next year! [Haha, she wants one in school for Ouran, and twin guys]
xoxo
mandy

Your pants' on fire!

2008-12-10T23:13:00.002+08:00

): My imagination is running low.
So is a lot of people's, I figured.

"I don't like liars."
But that would make me a hypocrite right?

My wig's settled, but I figure that I'll look like an ugly Misa ):
Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so tan.

At one moment in the living room, I just wanted to cry.
I know, I live a pretty good life. I have good friends.
Everything's good.

I've known that this was an ugly place.
Just didn't know it was that ugly.

[Err, Teresa, this isn't about the stupid thing that I saw -_- Haha, just so you know]

I feel so enclosed sometimes.
Maybe I should have ended up in another school [which might or might not be as good as where I am].
Then maybe, just maybe, there wouldn't be a hold to my thoughts.
But that wouldn't be good either.
Too much to think is not a good thing.

Oh gosh, I haven't done a post like this in ages.
I do miss it so.
But right now, I am just...
I don't know (:

If you don't know that old "liar, liar, pants on fire" thing,
you won't know what the title means.
xoxo
mandy
PS It's not directed to anyone in particular. Just felt like saying it.
PPS Ditto for this whole post.

Throttle the ignition.

2008-12-08T23:25:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone

Hmm, about the previous post...
Well, it's nothing already (: I mean, I'm still a ittle bittle pissed, but it's at the back of my mind already.
Haha, THANKS TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE FOR THEIR CONCERN! Much loved yo!

Another thing why I'm put in a better mood is that
COSFEST IS IN 5 DAY!
And I just went shopping for my costume :D I haven't bought the fishnet stockings, but my spending trip wasn't as bad as expected.

OH, there was one part that was really shitty.
I went to get my wig that Andro helped me ordered. It was supposed to be blonde, but it came out brown. So pissed off luh, cause the boss said there was one of that series that was blonde. So we RESERVED IT, thinking it was blonde. But it turned out to be brown when I collected it today.
Anyway, in the end, we, being such smart stubborn kids, stuck to it that the boss told us it was blonde and got a full refund! Including the deposit. Then we had to buy one of the wigs off the rack which was the same price.
BUT the wig that was blonde on the rack had curly ends. So I have no choice but to chop it off ):
Okay, maybe I won't chop it off, probably straighten it.
We'll see, when Andro comes tomorrow with her costume (: then we'll settle the wig and her skirt.

Anyway, I bought a new bag too (: It's a cheapo bag luh, but oh well. The excuse for buying it was actually because "Misa needs a bag to fit all her stuff in!".
Well, since I bought it [and it's not very small], I can use it as a school bag next year.
Haha, it's not a fantastic bag, but it's fairly usable (:

Hmm let's see, how much I've spent so far
Misamisa's expenditure
Top: $10
Skirt: $20
Shoes: $30 [But Andro paid $10. THANK YOU ANDRO, ILYVM!]
Bag: $22
Death Note: $15
Accesories: $12
Wig: $69
Total: $168
Not as much as expected, so plus my fishnet stockings and armwarmers, it'll be around $200?
EH? IT'S THE SAME COST AS BEFORE -_-

Haha anyway, people who are going for Cosfest, DON'T THINK I'LL DO A GOOD JOB. DON'T EVEN TRY EXPECTING IT.
Cause I know I'll do a bad job, so I'm only doing for fun (:
So yea, DON'T EXPECT ME TO TURN OUT FANTASTIC/THE LEAST BIT GOOD. Cause really I won't.
I might even end up on the worst dressed list on someone's blog [Haha, how cliched].
So yea. Oh well. I'll get a better wig next year. As well as a nice choker :D I have one in mind already.

Anyway, can't wait for Cosfest (:
It's what I'm so excited about.
AND WHERE'S MY BATCH OUTING HMMMMPH.
Haha, I don't mind planning A BIT. Too bad some people are overseas/attached to holiday jobs.
xoxo
mandy

Write me off.

2008-12-07T15:24:00.002+08:00

Today, you called me "Don't know who".
Haha, and know what, I'm majorly pissed off and disappointed.
I mean, I didn't even do anything today. NOTHING. Didn't do anything wrong, didn't NOT do anything right.
Like hello, I have a bloody fucking name, and guess what, YOU GAVE IT TO ME.
Oh wow, how can you even forget your daughter's name.
OR IS IT JUST BECAUSE I'M NO LONGER A DAUGHTER IN YOUR EYES HUH? I DON'T EXIST RIGHT?

Fuck you, BOTH of you. It's like I'm of no importance at all.
Haha, this isn't the first time I'm pissed at you two, but this is the first time I let it get to me. Normally I'd let it go.
Guess the last time I said that I hated people who tend to forget my name AND CALL ME SOMETHING ELSE, you didn't remember.
Sure it worked for a week or two, but straight after, YOU DECIDE THAT, OH, HER NAME ISN'T WORTH REMEMBERING, LET'S JUST CALL HER WHATEVER WE BLOODY WANT.
God, is it so hard to say "Amanda"?

And I realised, the point of going to Hong Kong isn't for a family trip. NO, it's going to be both of you and that bloody girl you guys love so so so much. I'm just going to be ignored and seen as an extra baggage that you have to bring along HAHA.
Well, guess what, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HONG KONG, SO YOU CAN SAVE UP THE MONEY AND LEAVE ME IN SINGAPORE, ISN'T THAT SO MUCH BETTER FOR THE THREE OF YOU.
I didn't even want to go in the first place. It's not going to be a trip I enjoy.

I hate all of you. I don't even know why I'm related to people like you in the first place. PEOPLE WHO ARE SO BLOODY STUPID AND "FORGETFUL" THEY CAN FORGET THEIR DAUGHTER'S NAME AND DECIDE THAT IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.
Decide that I didn't exist and leave me alone and leave without me in some stupid place like the millionth time.
Decide to shove a soft toy in my face and say "Oh, what did you expect for your Christmas present? It's good enough we remembered to buy this for you in Malaysia."

Yea, I probably sound like a stupid girl making a big fuss out of everything.
But well, how would you like it if I "forget" your names and call you "Don't know who".

I wish I had the money to run away. Escape this stupid so called home. It's better for all of us. You guys can have your happy family, and I don't have to face people who came up with my name and forget it straight after everyday.
They say home is where the heart is. That's a shame really, cause everybody's heart doesn't beat the same.
xoxo
mandy
PS Here's an afterthought. I HATE YOU. AND I HOPE YOU READ THIS.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod.

2008-12-06T22:59:00.005+08:00

Hey everyone (:

I'm back from Malaysia yayness! Okay, I actually like Malaysia, but all I did was finish
WAIT OMG THERE''S A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH MY IPOD &*@&*(@&$
Okay, phew it's fixed.
Anyway, all I did was finish some of my homework [what's the point of a holiday if there's homework to ruin it] and use the PSP and watch Astro and eat and grow fat and unsightly for a Misa. RAWR.
OH NO MY ITUNES. IT DIED OMG!!!

Hmm the past few days I've been thinking [again].
COSPLAY IS EXPENSIVE LUH. Can people just give me money and let me be a very happy person? I realise the importance of a holiday job now. All right, shall start working next year!
To all future employers: I AM A VERY HARDWORKING PERSON :D

I want to go watch a movie! Haha, but oh well, saving what's left of my money for cosplay \:
Andand, if anyone doesn't like ALs [come on you can guess], you really should go check out this website. They're really good at putting them down xD

Hmm that's it for now. Shall go watch POTC.
8 days to COSFEST.
[/edit] OH AND I LOVE AMY WINEHOUSE AND JOHN LEGEND AND MARK RONSON.
Haha uh, I think the songs are very nice (: I don't really like the current music playing on the radio. Everything sounds almost the same.
[/edit]
xoxo
mandy
PS haha someone really turned weird after a period of time. Revealed your true colours. GOOD.

Before the sun goes down.

2008-12-02T22:28:00.002+08:00

Hey guys (:

COSPLAY IS AN EXPENSIVE THING. That's what has been on my mind since two days back when I calculated the estimated cost -_- WTF LUH SO EXPENSIVE.

Anyway, went to Zoey's house today (: Was fun [tasted her so called cooking which was just instant noodles], but i uh, freaked out when she started telling me stuff about how our brain actually creates a different reality to make us feel more secured etc or something. And some other syndromes like Cotard's Syndrome [no idea] and yea. All part of neurology which I want to do, but oh well.
Anyway, I JUST REALISED THE RING [the movie] IS BASED ON A BOOK. It's uber creepy I tell you, that an author could... The movie is based on the book so yea. I recommend GRACE KOH KAH SHIN TO GO READ RING, SPIRAL AND LOOP. They're separate books so yea.
And can you believe, Zoey went to read it -_-

And and, I'm still worried about screwing up cosplay ): like, really really REALLY worried. OMG, I DON'T WANT TO END UP LOOKING LIKE A CRAPPY MISA OOOO:

Anyway, I'll be gone from tomorrow until Saturday [I think]. Will be off to Malaysia for some stuff. Rawr, why couldn't my dad just modify my PSP in Singapore, SO I CAN DOWNLOAD THAT JAPANESE DRUM GAME D: AND PLAY WHILE I'M IN MALAYSIA.

Oh well, will be back, ILYVM!
xoxo
mandy

You only live twice.

2008-11-30T22:02:00.003+08:00

D:

I just realised that cosplaying Misa isn't so cheap after all. All right, the clothes are cheap enough, the accessories are fine, BUT THE FRAKING WIG IS LIKE WTF, 70 DOLLARS.
At first the guy said it was 45, and I was like, oh that's not bad, BUT THEN ANDRO WENT TO RESERVE FOR ME AND THEY TOLD HER IT WAS 69.90.
^(#@%^$%@)_(@!#&#@

Okay, so the cost of the cosplay will be roughly [this is my estimated cost]
Clothes: $50
Wig: $70
Shoes: $30
Armwarmers + Fishnet stockings: $10
Accessories: $20 [including Misa's Death Note]
Bag: $20
Total cost: $200 [OMG WTF]
That's twice my original plan. I think I don't have enough savings D:

Sighs. I'm really worried that I'll screw up the cosplay. I mean, to screw up Misa is like, really difficult. But then again, the easier the cosplay, the more it screws up. I've seen a lot of screwed up Ls. And I've seen lots of pictures of Misa cosplayers, and honestly not all are good.
I mean, this may be the first time I'm cosplaying, but I seriously don't want to do a bad job at it. And not to mention, Andro is going to do an awesome cosplay as Road Kamelot. Even if the clothes don't turn out good, she's actually going so far as to use coloured wax to make her hair blue. I NEED TO DO A GOOD COSPLAY.
Haha, I know, I probably shouldn't wory about stupid stuff like this, but I seriously can't stand sucky cosplays, and I would tear myself apart if I do a bad one.
I was thinking about doing Jigoku Shoujo this morning, since I can get her full costume at $120 and the wig for about a hundred. But oh well, I ordered my wig already (: Shall do Jigoku Shoujo next year.

Anyway, to those people who don't know, Cosfest is on 13th Dec at Expo. ALL ARE WELCOME.

Oh I almost forgot. TAG REPLIES

//Andro HAHA, maybe he would luh. And how do you plan to talk him xD Pop up at every corner and say, KAKASHI SAN, I LOVE YOU! LOL. But I'll bet a lot of other girls will fangirl over him, so yea xD
//Teresa Haha, I think you mentioned. I DIDN'T SAY NOBODY KNEW. I just meant a majority didn't know about Fort Minor [And didn't want to know]And I have their album too haha :D
//Shu Hui I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKE FORT MINOR! Haha, yay another person who likes them (: and you and my friend seriously have a lot in common xD
//Teresa Haha, you going for HC drama camp? I'm not going for sure :D And I didn't know you liked Kenji xD And yea, Where'd You Go is nice, but it gets tiring after a while.
//Grace Hmm quite true. But what I mean is THOSE REALLY FAT PEOPLE. I mean, some lians are fat, but they look plump. That or it's just their clothes which make them look fat.
//Caitlin HAHA, fine, you'll be the first person I link :D[tsk shouldn't have fallen for the emotional blackmail]
//Shu Hui Haha, you can always come with me for Cosfest! Then I'll introduce you to Andro [Who'll look pretty scary for her cosplay] Anyway, don't expect too much from me! I'm still a beginner! I probably won't even look like a Misa.

That's all for now.
xoxo
mady

Life is but a dream.

2008-11-29T20:13:00.002+08:00

HELLO ALL.

Okay, today I went out with Andro to Bugis and Orchard to shop for the remainder of her cosplay costume :D [And for my tights]
WE LIKE WALKED AROUND BOTH AREAS FOR 5 HOURS BEFORE WE ACTUALLY FOUND HER JACKET RAWR.
Yea, it took that long -_- Well anyway, in the end she bought this guy jacket thing xD AHH it looks so cool.
Hopefully, she'll be the best Road Kamelot [If there were any others there] there is at Cosfest!

ANYWAY, she looked really really REALLY cool [and scary] after her haircut :D I think it's a pixie cut, BUT IT MAKES HER LOOK LIKE A SCARY GUY.
And I think she's going to temporarily dye her hair BLUE for cosplay :D HAHA SO COOL.
Omg, so many caps xD

Anyway, after I was back from all that window shopping [for my character], I went home and then...
MY DAD TOLD ME I CAN COSPLAY YAY OMG.
But what the hell luh, why did he have to tell me when I got back from window shopping for my character. HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME EARLIER MAH.
But in any case, I CAN GO, I CAN GO.
Weird thing is, he told me not to misbehave when I cosplayed. Like what can I do to misbehave -_-
BUT STILL, I CAN COSPLAY. COSFEST HERE I COME!

xoxo
mandy

%#@&$%#@

2008-11-29T11:47:00.002+08:00

LIKE OMG WTF.
MY PARENTS THINK COSPLAY IS AH LIAN, WHICH IS SO NOT LUH.
[But SOME cosplayers are ah lian, that's what I think]
COSPLAY IS NOT AN AH LIAN HOBBY.
HONESTLY, IT JUST ISN'T. LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF FAT PEOPLE WHO COSPLAY. YOU CALL THAT AH LIAN.
Honestly, this is not an offence to fat people. Cause some are really good. Anyway, it's an offence to say cosplay is ah lian D:

And yea, the verdict isn't out on whether I can cosplay.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

xoxo
mandy

I like what I do,

2008-11-26T20:25:00.003+08:00

I do what I like.

Haha, I just realised what a genius Mike Shinoda [sp?] is with lyrics during the Fort Minor time (:
Fort Minor is good :D Okay, I'll bet like 87% of you don't know what is Fort Minor ):

Anyway, today was an okay day I guess (:
I REALLY WANT A BATCH OUTING TO ESCAPE AND WWW LUH.
Why is everyone overseas now! Never mind, we shall have it during the week of camp :D

Anyway, baked today :D My experience for baking cheesecake have apparently been lost on me, CAUSE NOW I BAKE HORRIBLE CHEESECAKES D:
SORRY QIU LUAN, I REALLY WANTED TO DO A GOOD JOB TODAY!
Anyway, while waiting for the cheesecakes to be done, we watched some Dong Bang videos.
Honestly, I'm not a fan of them, BUT THE VIDEOS WERE REALLY FUNNY.
[Still not a fan HAHA]
Seriously, the variety shows Korea has is good (:

Anyway, I was thinking about what presents I want [when I was watching TV], and this commercial came up [some high society jazz thing], and I realised that
I STILL HAVEN'T GOT AMY WINEHOUSE'S ALBUM O:
I've been wanting it for ages, and I kept forgetting about it RAWR.
However, that's not my priority in my wants-list now.
What I really want now is
1. Misa's outfit [consists of black tank and skirt, fishnet/black tights, thigh highs, arm warmers and black boots/heels]
2. A blonde wig
3. Accessories that Misa will wear
4. PERMISSION TO COSPLAY [I can still sneak out for cosplay anyway -_-]
Then after all these are
5. Mark Ronson's Version
6. Amy Winehouse's Back to Black
7. The various things on my wishlist

Yea, I know, I want a lot. But that's just me I guess haha.
RAWR I WANNA GO OUT. It's been like, days since I've gone out.
I wanna get my cosplay outfit!!! AND WIG. AND ACCESSORIES!
[I may seem really materialistic, but hey, who isn't?]

My left eyelid keeps twitching. ANNOYING.
xoxo
mandy

Another way to die.

2008-11-23T15:02:00.009+08:00

Hey hello!

[Disclaimer: You can just skip, and look at pictures.]

Went to AFA yestrday with Andro :D Anime Festival Asia for those who don't know.
I FELT SO CHEATED LUH, I THOUGH THERE WAS A COSPLAY COMPETITION, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT THE COMPETITION IS TODAY ):
But we still saw some cosplayers :D That was good haha.
We saw some Naruto cosplayers there, and Andro was pretty, uh, ESCSTATC over the Kakashi cosplayer, even though he wasn't in full costume.
[She wanted to stalk him LOL]
Anyway, after we walked away, Andro was on the lookout for more Kakashi cosplayers xD
Too bad, 'cause the one we saw was the only one.
Anyway, we saw a group of Death Note cosplayers [I thought there'd be like a million Ls, but it turned out there was only ONE )':].
We saw a Misa. Hmm, wasn't the greatest Misa cosplayer we saw [like I'd be good], but she was pretty enthu-ly Misa. [We saw her hitting L and Light with a long pole thing xD]

Anyway, we were so cheated luh! We were queueing for "freebies" AND WHEN WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK AWAY, WE WERE ASKED TO PAY D:
They said it was free, so we lined up. WASTE OF TIME LUH OMG.
Next time, companies like these should explain clearly. No offences.
Anyway, I wasn't really that pissed off. Andro was talking about lawsuits though o_o
Lesson learnt: Never trust freebies unless you're absolutely sure.

Anyway, I BOUGHT A SUPER CUTE DOMO-KUN PEN :D
There were lots of domo-kun merchandise, BUT THEY WERE ALL SO EXPENSIVE LUH.
I bought my pen for like $7 -_- but it's okay, when you click the pen, IT MOVES IT'S ARMS :D

Then we arcade-ed and I went to buy Teresa's birthday present :D I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED MUCH. [LOL]

And finally, PICTURES.

Code Geass people :D Stupid lighting )x

The scary Gundam guy. Looks like a statue right?

Naruto people. Tsk tsk, THERE WERE KIDS THERE.

Kakashi guy Andro was trying to stalk. LOOK AT HER BIG GRIN. The picture wasn't well taken. THE PERSON HAD SHAKY HANDS D:

CUTE TAMAGOTCHIS :D

Can you believe it, this girl's only about 8 years old? AND SHE HAS COSPLAYED ALREADY.

Okay, I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I really wanted to take a picture! His hair is so cute. I totally fled the scene after that.

Haha, Andro was trying to find this pair the whole time. AND THEY WERE AT THE ENTRANCE SIPPING TEA -_-

The cute domo-kun pen :D

MORE DOMO MERCHANDISE!

xoxo
mandy

Bursting in your perfect eyes.

2008-11-20T22:38:00.003+08:00

HEYLO :D

Haha, today was good (: the past few have been good too :D
I JUST WANT TO SHOP EVERYDAY.
Haha, went to build-a-bear today :D was fun!
Wanted to get an outfit that would look Misa-ish for my bear so I can bring her out when I cosplay [and yea, I'm most likely going as Misa. SHOULD BE FUN :D]. Oh well, couldn't find a top that was Misa enough for the bear, so I went to get the nurse's uniform and the pirate's uniform :D
AND MY BEAR'S NAME IS CLAUDIA.
Haha, Shu Hui would probably know why (:

Quantum of Solace = WASTE OF MONEY
Haha, I'm too lazy to talk in full sentences.

PAGE ONE IS NICE :D Bought like 4 notebooks there, THEY'RE SO ADORABLE!
And Teresa, I haven't bought your present D: You haven't bought mine, but you'll be getting soon. So I'll probably get one this weekend too. Oh and before I forget,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERESA!
MUST GROW UP TO BE A BETTER DA JIE!

I'm so excited about COSFEST!
Had a mini sms conversation with Andro about it. You'll have no idea what are the crazy things we're planning to do xD

I WANT TO BAKE, SHOP, SWIM [which I can't, BECAUSE MISA IS A FAIR IDIOT] AND GO OUT.
xoxo
mandy
PS I updated my wishlist, SO ANYONE WHO HASN'T GOTTEN ME A BIRTHDAY PRESENT... [hint hint]

5 pounds too much.

2008-11-17T14:28:00.003+08:00

Hello everybody :D

First thing's first, I realised that I AM FIVE POUNDS TOO MUCH LIKE OMG )<
I mean, I always aimed to be 100 pounds, and since I only measure in kilograms, I don't really know how much is that, only knew it's definitely below 50 kg. So I recently went to check how heavy I am, AND I REALISED I'M A HUNDRED AND FIVE POUNDS )<
I shall have to lose weight more!
And I'm getting lazy, so it's time to go swimming to lose stupid fats.

Anyway, lots of things went on in the past week (: Haha like going to watch choral&drama and fund-raising and crewing and the like :D
OH had chalet with ~~the class~~ half the class on thurs and fri :D It was fun in a way, though we split up a bit. Well, what do you expect, we aren't the most bonded class right?
Haha, barbeque was fun with peoples (:
And uh, Sentosa sure has a lot of weird people o_o when we [Qiu Luan, Chu Ning, Grace, Sok Boon and me] were cycling, those weird people like to distract us and call us out and blah blah.
Okay, you can actually just go to Grace's LJ to read about everything (: Pictures are there too haha.
OH AND I LEARNT HOW TO RIDE A BIKE YAYNESS. And I don't just mean the tandem bike, I mean the normal bike too.
I don't want to post pictures. Rawr, I'm too ugly.

Andro asked me to cosplay with her :D Okay, I really really want to, but I have like, zilch money now )<
And I have to make a choice between Jigoku Shoujo and Misa Amane O< They're like, worlds apart. Jigoku Shoujo would be easy to do cause the only things I need will be a long wig, red contacts, schoolgirl uniform and I just have to act scary and soul-less [haha].
BUT Misa needs a blond wig, semi-gothic loli stuff, heels/boots, paint nails and I have to be all happy, cute and dumb o_o for some reason, Andro says I'll be a great Misa [is that a compliment or not o_o]
Okay, maybe I should do Misa, but to save money, I may have to dye my hair blond )< My parents are so going to kill me.
Shall go shopping with Andro soon to get costumes etc :D
Oh, and Andro is going as a guy o_o SO SHE'S CUTTING HER HAIR. SHORTER.
So wait, SHOULD I DO JIGOKU SHOUJO OR MISA O:

Class allocations were out last week and uh, I sort of know who's going to be in my future class haha. THERE'LL BE LIKE 10 GEP-ERS IN MY CLASS ZOMG.
Not that they're weird or anything, but just that...okay, I don't know, just hardly mixed with GEP-ers. Teresa may be a GEP-er, but I'm kind of used to her ~~nonsense~~.
And I already don't really like some people in my class -_- According to both personal experience and what Teresa [as well as like 87238197 other people] have been saying.
I WISH TERESA WAS IN MY CLASS. Then I'd know more people in my class. Doesn't make sense haha, but oh well.
Haha, on the bright side, people like Michelle, Yu Jie, LINSHA and Hyo Lim are in my class. At least I know some people haha.
I'm sad 'cause I'm leaving 211, but I'm excited to go to 314 :D

Should get going already. Proposals to finish in so little time ):
xoxo
mandy

Love lockdown.

2008-11-08T22:13:00.003+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY!
Haha, hmm I guess I can say I'm in a weird sort of moods now (:
I'M IN HP!
Yayness. Okay, maybe not. I figured, that my future classmates are all uhh, really smart people D: AND I'm going to die of the whole competition and everything )< Half of me wishes I got into A. Lit, but ahh well.
TERESA WONG YUE LING, YOU CHEAT MY FEELINGS! Okay, the school cheated your feelings, which in turn cheated mine. BUT IT'S SO &^@&%#^&@%(!&-ingly annoying )<

And hmm, choral&drama night. ~~It didn't mean much to me~~I just didn't feel nothing about the play, but a little melancholic about the people in class ):
Seriously, I felt that the EMAs were more uh, oomph compared to C&D despite me not having anything to do with it.

Anyway, thanks for the flowers everybody! It wasn't a lot, but it's definitely more than last year haha :D AND thanks QIULUAN for the really awesome and sweet letter! IT MADE ME LAUGH, MADE ME WANNA CRY O: But in a good way haha!
AND THE ORANGE FBTS OMG. IT WAS FLOURESCENT I SWEAR.
Courtesy from Koa Hui Min and Grace Koh Kah Shin as a late birthday present. THANKS ANYWAY! I realised it was a s straight, so I can wear :D if it was a curve, I think I won't be able to wear it xD
Haha, it was fun doing make up for people (: I mean, though it's actually my first time doing blusher etc on other people, it was really fun. And the best part was that they had trust in me :D AND I DIDN'T SCREW THEIR FACES UP :D

Oh and who could forget? The day before yesterday, I went to watch C&D with Teresa, and it was pure mean-ness and fun :D We bitched more than ever, because many weren't in school uniform and uh. Were in various states of undress HAHA. Okay, joking, but we really bitched a lot about quote unquote fatuglyshamelesspeople and zaogengbimbs.
We may be bitchy, but at least we tell it like it is :D
AND WE ATE AT MOGUMOGUKITCHEN. It's a damn cute place OMG. Even the waitress had a really cute uniform xD
And the plays really were quite good :D The 210A people could act haha [though the supposed guy had long hair and everything] uh, I got emotional watching that play xD

Oh before I go, I realised that the Disturbia mv was really...disturbing -_-
But anyway, I really love P!nk and Ne-yo now :D

I'm not scared at all
By the cracks in the crysal ball
xoxo
mandy

Together we're invincible.

2008-11-05T23:56:00.003+08:00

Hello people :D

Went for a small small celebration for Zoey with Lin Sha, and we saw SUET YI :D
Suet yi looks thinner O: and her braces makes her look different somehow.
ANYWAY, ate dinner over at Zoey's and uhm, ate half a prawn.
And concluded that I hate prawns.
I repeat. I HATE PRAWNS.
Omg, it was so gross, I puked it out in the end )<
And it made me feel bulimic, 'cause I feel like puking still to get rid of whatever that's left in my stomach, EWW EWW.

Okay, I figured, it's been long since I replied tags.
Rawr, I feel so sian. SHALL NOT REPLY.
But uh, I was surprised ~~Zoey's lover~~HARRIET! [sorry! I thought zoey would be upset if I typed out your name )<] came by to wish me happy birthday -_- We were supposed to be at odds. Okay, she was supposed to be anyway HAHA.

I blogged for nothing xD
xoxo
mandy

Delayed Devotion pt2

2008-11-03T22:53:00.004+08:00

Hey peoples.

You know, I was really traumatised by something last night [I cried and uh, it's just bad] and uh, I don't really wanna say it haha.
Then why am I posting this, you ask?
WELL, I want to say that neyo songs really made me feel SO SO MUCH better :D
I totally stopped feeling so bad after a while so yea (:

oh yes, Malaysia.
It was boring, I just kept playing solitaire using a pack of cards.
But sighs, it was sad, kind of.
I can imagine how sad I would be if my husband [if any] died, and I see my children [if any] with their spouses, whereas my own is dead, and I'm old, I'll uh, cry. And be very sad.
And regret whatever I've done, to the point of regretting not jumping into the grave with the coffin and be buried.
Haha, kidding, but you get the idea.
I can't explain it sighs.

I realised, there are actually lots of very nice people in 211, it's just that I've been influenced [sadly] by how the majority thinks and didn't really like some of them ):
People that some of the others have bad impressions of are usually quite okay to be with you know.
I don't want to put names down, seriously though.
I realised, by choosing to hang out with different people, you see very different points of views all the time (:
Which is good, cause at least you won't misunderstand some people who are very nice.
I'm learning to be more appreciative of the people around me HAHA.

I just realised, I've been missing out on so much. What's going on, everything.
And know why? 'Cause I was gone for a day in Malaysia, or a few weeks from my activities.
Can you imagine, what'll happen if I'm gone for a month?
I don't know why you two are in a tiff about me.
What matters is, don't be so insecure.
Enjoy your company while you can, and try to understand how lucky both of you are to have each other to laugh with.
Don't even think about any third party, because they don't exist.
What matters is just relishing the moment, that single happy moment.
And you would have made another happy memory.

Rawr, I don't want to be Amanda, I just want to have no name, no nothing.
Then there'd be nothing to know or lose right (:

I am your queen and you are my jester.
Make me laugh. Or die.

(:
xoxo
mandy

Delayed devotions Pt 1

2008-11-01T00:04:00.003+08:00

Last day of school.
I don't know, should I be happy or sad. Haha, I seriously don't know.
Well, I don't want to talk about it now. Going to Malaysia in the early morning for All Souls' Day.
Maybe I'll continue this post when I come back (?)

I think I'll miss the eleveners a lot.
It just felt sudden, the time I wasted on useless things in our class, failing to realise how many nice people there actually were in front of me.

Anyway, stupid yuan ming, cut her fingers really badly to open a bottle of bacardi ): God, I hope you don't get stitches. Else you'd have a problem with your fingers for a long long time.

Well, goodbye, until Sunday.
xoxo
mandy

Deliciously destructive.

2008-10-30T23:18:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone.

Sentosa today was really...uhm blah. Okay, we had fun doing our inverted sculpture [haha stupid well] and walking around, but really, the whole thing was just sian. Okay, maybe cause I wasn't feeling well already [cold and cough], and I still walked around like nobody's business.
But seriously, I'm dying of exhaustion.
And to make things worse, it was kinda noisy in class just now [not anybody's fault. Just that I was sick today] and it gave me a splitting headache even until now.
Rawr, I have a headache just eating chocolate. SAD.
And I can't sleep now, 'cause I have to wait for my meringues to cool down ):

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Other than the fact that I'm sick as hell, I have to collect my report book [which will probably have really nasty comments] AND stay until 10pm because of some grad night stuff. GOD, I WISH I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR IT. MY HEADACHE IS LIKE KILLING ME AND I RATHER GO FOR CCA.
I really don't want to miss cca sighs.
And I realised, even if I don't know it, people DO talk about me without me knowing. A lot, I realised. Not that it's bad, but uh, fyi, I don't get angry at every little thing haha.
I'm just really tired today, so I feel kind of dead.

OH OH BUT one thing that totally cheers me up is SHOPPING :D
I know, I sound like a typical stupid girl who likes to waste her parents' money away, but really, I don't mind just WINDOW SHOPPING too (: And I realised, Cheryl is a good shopping buddy :D
I WANNA GO SHOPPPING WITH YOU AGAIN! But this time, not at vivo again [unless it's on the way]. Let's go to Bugis and hunt for cheap clothes :D Oh and my heels too!

Rawr, I'm just posting for the sake of posting )< I should go now, my headache is KILLING ME.
xoxo
mandy

How to lose friends.

2008-10-25T22:49:00.002+08:00

Hello people (:

I'm starting to decide this school here is getting worse and worse in my head.
As in, I don't have a good impression of my school anymore. [Oh wait, I never did]
I did expect the people here to be competitive, just didn't think that they were like this.
Haha, I can't explain it. I just feel uncomfortable here.
And it really is communist haha. VERY.

You know, since the year is already ending, I don't really know what to feel for my class. I mean, ~~I don't really like the way it, as well as the people, works and all~~ it just hasn't been the class I thought it'd be. I know, I know, who am I to judge? I haven't been Miss Best Personality or whatever.
But honestly, the things I've bee through. Sure, I've had my share of great memories, but to think of it, I'm more likely to remember the stuff that haven't quite been savvy.
I mean, it got really bad this year.
Last year, I wanted to change classes.
This year, I wish I never came here.
However, the saving grace here are people that have gradually been able to withstand my spats and swears, as well as all that bitchiness that I embody.
People who I know are going to/already have been pissed, but are still there.
People like a select few [by few, I do mean REALLY FEW] in class and my cca people.
Gosh, I feel like crying already.
'Cause I look around and people have their own cliques etc and they can happy here.
So, the only conclusion I have is that I am good at losing friends (:
I should write a novel about it haha.
AND NO, I'M NOT MOPING ABOUT HOW I HAVE NO FRIENDS.
Because really, it's what's been done. People can't stand me, I have no qualms about that, since ultimately, it's still me.
But I shall be the queen of bitch and still say FUCK YOU to some big hypocrites that I don't know why they can have so many besties etc.
Haha, but I know I know, aren't I a hypocrite too? Well, sad to say, at least I admit I'm a WALKING CONTRADICTION.
I wonder whether it'll be better next year though.
I do hope it is. Whatever the case, I do know that my future class will have either one/none 211-ers. I mean, Advanced Lit? Michelle is going there, but I know she'll get into HP and I won't.
I do hope that my batch will get more and more bonded (: They're the ones I'll see these four years without fail.

Haha, I'm just an angsty, pms-y person. Like Zoey says, no one actually comes to read in-gratitude 'cause it's really boring and I don't really say how I feel.
But the moment I do, I get all those really negative responses which I know I will see, but just don't want to face up to it.
Well, I've decided to post the rare angsty post today, and I daresay I don't really care. After all, I do have a freedom of speech and so do you as a reader (:

But rest assured 211-ers, you'll still get something from me. There's still much to appreciate you guys for, though arguably, I haven't enjoyed life here in NY so far. I did have my happy moments here, whether in 211 or in cca, guess my personality just doesn't really click with you guys ): I'm may be normal where I come from, but I'm a different thing altogether from you guys and respond differently to problems I face. Friendship problems particularly.

Oh and fyi, I hate ~~my parents~~ YOU. Really.
xoxo
mandy

Maybe she's gone crazy.

2008-10-25T00:01:00.002+08:00

Hello people :D

I'm like bored after settling some cca stuff ): But cca today was rather slack [not auditioning for SYF haha] I DO wanna see who gets into SYF though (: heard Mr Ng and seniors make comments. Some good, some not.

School is just so sian now. It's like briefing after breifing after breifing all the time. There's like nothing on now, might as well pon school rawr. But I still love cca. The people at least.

Oh man I want batch OM!! But I can't ): so the group so far will be Yuan Ming, Teresa, Yi Jing, and Bethanie.
You guys totally suan-ed me today, I DIDN'T PANGSEH YOU OKAY.
Anyway, dinner-ed with YM and Teresa today at hanabi :D
Oh man, we ordered quite a lot and found out YM has a super small appetite.
It's like me and Teresa ate so much and weren't bloated, but she ate not much and complained.
EAT MORE OMG. Teresa ate the most though I think HAHA.

Rawr, I'm bored. SHOPPING NEXT SATURDAY [hope it's fixed]
I really need new stuff.

xoxo
mandy

Stop, I'm getting off.

2008-10-22T20:39:00.003+08:00

This is just to say that
I'M LIKE BLEH-LY BORED DESPITE ALL THE TIGHT SCHEDULES.
At least I know I'm not a typical no-lifer who doesn't know what to do after eoys.
Oh man, all the things to do.
Scheduling crewing for C & D, drama matters, stuff for 211-ers, changing of subject options, shopping for new stuff with people, going out, solving problems, taking photos, cca stuff, RE:ACT camp, cca camp tralalala. The list goes on.

Oh wait, let's post my results for the world to see.
Lang Arts: A2
Chinese: B3 [first in 4218740918 years. IMPROVEMENT]
Humanities: B3 [FIRST TIME IT'S SO HORRIBLE RAWR]
Math: A1
Science: A1

MSG: 2
AH, A BLOODY EFFING TWO.
TWO. OMG. If I had even an A2 for Humans, I would get 1.blahblah
All right, I know, I shouldn't ask for much, but my standard has never gone so low before ):
Fine, it did, but it was in term 3, where ahem, total distraction from table partners [not their fault cause they're nice peoples].
I'm sorry if I've offended anyone by typing this out ):

OH and,
I STILL LOVE KIMYA DAWSON'S SONGS
I don't mind her album[s] as a belated birthday present :D

I know a lot of people felt upset today over results, but what I'll tell you is that we've all got our share of disappointments, and there's nothing to do except move on and improve the next time. I know it seems easy for me to say this, but that's really all we can do.
However, if you still feel sad, all I can say is I'll be by your side if you need a shoulder to cry on [literally].

Chin up girl,
you've got to be strong,
and know when you're singing i'm singing along
xoxo
mandy

Kiss you all starry-eyed.

2008-10-19T17:39:00.003+08:00

New Year's overrated.
Valentine's exaggerated.
Summer's too hot to handle
Birthday just went without a candle.

My birthday was boring.
Other than the baking, it was ~~the worst birthday I had since eight~~ uneventful rawr.
Never mind, I don't care, shan't talk about it.
Shall celebrate it another day (:

LINSHA YOU HORRIBLE PERSON.
PERSONUS HORRIBLEUS
You better make it up to me one day hmmph.

*

It's always the same problem all the time.
It's a two-sided situation, when you don't believe what I say
So much so that one day, I don't feel a thing at all.
Don't see a need at all.
Don't give so much a tear at all.

You see, the more you say it, the more it drives into you.
The more it gets to your head, the more you doubt.
Maybe I shouldn't say this now, you haven't been through the best of times
But anyway, here goes, it's bound to come.
You did what you didn't want to yourself

Maybe it was the fault of others, maybe it was only yours.
Guess what, it doesn't matter now, cause it's driven too deep.
Way too deep to reverse the unwanted thoughts deep beneath.

Here are my final words to you:
You can't seem to find the questions to the answers you already have.
Maybe you won't understand.
Maybe one day, you will.
But one thing that is sure,
I don't want to explain no more.

xoxo
mandy

Camp pictures :D

2008-10-17T23:13:00.005+08:00

FOR THE SAKE OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW IN MY LOVELY GROUP
aka chermainewoonyeesonianyssaxinyiamandagohdionysiashaoleyannijingjing
I SHALL POST THE PICTURES WE TOOK DESPITE MY VERY WOOZY SELF.
Haha, I'm just tired [and i don't want to be a little older oh no]

too tired to post details :D
xoxo
mandy

Just our hands clasped so tight.

2008-10-13T20:26:00.004+08:00

Hello people :D

I shouldn't be blogging now. One more paper to go.
I screwed up everything, but whatever.

Anyway, I felt better after retail therapy (:
Okay, fine so I only got like some travel pack shampoo and a pack of new plasters.
BUT THE PLASTERS ARE DAMN CUTEE.
I wanted to get the coloured ones, but I couldn't find them so I went to get the junior ones :D

Isn't it like, so cute. Ignore the word junior on it.
I have officially fallen in love with plasters :D
I have decided to purposely ACCIDENTALLY cut myself/fall down/get hurt so I can use them :D

And and, I cried like the 128904092049th time watching the mv for "I Will Follow You Into The Dark." by Death Cab for Cutie. I swear, behind the sad voice and all, it's a really sweet song.

If anybody sings it to me, and sings as well as/better than the original singer, I will
1. be so touched that I break down and cry
2. go hug that person
3. fall in love with the voice and tell the person to go to Fueled By Ramen/Decaydance to get a record deal.
Someone buy me their albums [hint: my birthday is coming soon]
Shit, I'm tearing again D:

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
xoxo
mandy

In love with how you feel.

2008-10-11T23:04:00.001+08:00

I sure wish I knew who you were
Cause you make me cry for all the right reasons.

I broke my no using computer rule rawr.
xoxo
mandy

I know we can all be friends.

2008-09-28T19:15:00.002+08:00

Hello :D
I shouldn't be here but whatever (:
Anyway, mugging sucks, period.
I want to change my url, but then, I don't know what I can change to.
I'm not thinking about eoys, more like thinking about what happens AFTER eoys.
I want to make a list of things to do, and that includes shopping for clothes, wallets, flowers whatever.
I'm stuck onto a song called La Vie En Rose. I realised I grew up listening to it, and never knew what's it called.
I realised double-clicking on the mozilla tabs open a new empty webpage.
I want to learn how to do nice designs for blogskins :D GRACE, HELP ME.
I want to do well, but I'm procrastinating my life away.
I want to learn yoga, lindy hop, guitar etc.
I want to go cut hair with Zoey.
I want to save up for a pair of headphones if I get an iPod.

Rawr, stop procrastinating and go do your work Amanda.
There's no point in blogging - quote Grace Koh
I agree -_- But look, I'm still here.

That is all :D byee
xoxo
mandy

watered-down dreams

2008-09-25T21:14:00.003+08:00

I can't think right anymore.

Hello everybody :D
Oh man, it's been horrible, school is. Tiring, tied down to stupid commitments ie EOYs.
~~What's even more tiring is being abandoned then wanted again. But I uhm, don't really care. Will be just a little cold~~
Haha, it's okay Subject #243795. I forgive you, cause I know you like Subject #549366 more than me. Maybe it's time I let you go to her.
Hahaha, that sounds dumb xD

Anyway, went out with Lin Sha yesterday to Lot 1 :D
Just realised it's been so long since I went out with her [kinda anyway.]
So, went to Lot 1, AND TOTALLY BURST MY CALORIE COUNT FOR THAT DAY. DAMN.
Anyway, we walked a lot around the mall, and she told me the best news in a long time.
TOKIO HOTEL RELEASED THEIR ALBUM IN SINGAPORE [the German one] FOR 70 DOLLARS!
Okay, impossible for me to buy, but ah, I'LL SAVE UP :D
Oh and they released their dongs into Singapore airwaves, and the Muttons keep saying that Bill looks like a girl.
Haha, actually, it's kinda true, but he looks like a hot girl :D
Anyway, we walked around and saw a piggy bank on sale, so we bought one for each of us :D it's pretty cute. I'm gonna be more obliged to save money teehee.
Anyway, I realised Action City has lots of uhm, INTERESTING stuff lying around xD
And I really wanna buy a new wallet. Particularly from vivo.

My mom is getting weird -_- Just a few years ago, she would have yelled if I wanted shorts and heels. Now, she's encouraging me to get shorts and doesn't mind heels.
Haha, no other comments.

Yawns. I'm bored, let's do a happy quiz :D

1. Your Wedding Song:
One Sweet Love - Sara Bareilles
[Does that mean my first love is my final one o_o]

2. Your Last Words:
Step Up - Samantha Jad
[Am I going to dance and die -_-]

3. Your Funeral Song:
Nasty Naughty Boy - Christina Arguilera
[HAHA, Makes me sound like a streetwalker.]

4. What Your Crush/BF/GF Thinks Of You:
Hot - Avril Lavigne
[HELL YEA :D]

5. Your Theme Song:
Basket Case - Green Day
[YAY]

6. This Song Was Def Written About Me:
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
[COOL. You definitely make me wonder :D]

7. What Travis Of GCH Thinks Of You:
You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison - MCR
[Ehh?]

8. Instead of "I Do" Your Husband Says:
Chocolate - Snow Patrol
[Awww sweet :D]

9. How This Summer Will Be:
Here I Come - Fergie
[???]

10. Your Children's First Words:
Pop Princess - The Click 5
[HAHA definitely a girl]

11. Your 7th Grade Teachers Last Words:
Enemy - Jack Johnson
[HAHA yea, my enemy bleh]

12. If 50Cent Wrote A Song About You The Title Would Be:
Orange County Girl - Gwen Stefani
[Ahem, I'm not from California]

13. Song You'll Meet Your Future Spouse To:
Rotting - Green Day
[Haha I can imagone us attending a funeral and meeting there :D]

14. The Reason Your Crush Will Marry You:
Ubers Ende Der Weit - Tokio Hotel
[Cause secretly, he thinks I'm as hot as Bill Kaulitz (:]

15. Should Be Your Ringtone:
Nice Guys Finish Last - Green Day
[Cool! Your sympathy will get you left behind :D]

16. This Song Gets You Hype For Anything:
Dum Diddly - Black Eyed Peas
[VERY TRUE]

17. Song You Dance To Naked In Your Room:
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles
[Uhm no, but it's a nice song :D]

18. The Best Party Song:
Somebody Told Me - The Killers
[...okay, fine it sounds like a dance track]

19. This Song Reminds You Of The Best Day Of Your Life:
Warning - Green Day
[Somehow, it does :D the tune is happy, I can imagine myself on a bus to somewhere happy]

20. What The Cops Says To You When You Get Arrested:
On Our Way - Christina Arguilera
[TO PRISON OH NO]

21. What Your Mom Screams When She Walks Into Your Room:
Kingdom Come - Coldplay
[...]

22. What Will Be The Theme Song Of Your Birthday Party:
Anthem Part II - Blink 182
[The tune is cute :D]

23. Describes December 27th,2007:
Meet My Maker - Good Charlotte
[Eh...We go to heaven? Or you saw my parents o_o]

24. What Your Best Friend Said About You Last Night:
The Takeover, The Break's Over - Fall Out Boy
[O_O]

25. The Song You Sing Most In The Shower:
Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne
[LIKE HELLO NO]

26. When Your BF/GF Rejects Your Marriage Proposal, They'll Say:
Tree Hugger - Kimya Dawson
[WHY YOU TREE-HATER]

27. You'll Scream When You Reach The Top Of Mt. Rushmore:
Nan You're A Window Shopper - Lily Allen
[HAHA YEA]

28. Your Message To The World:
Whatsername - Green Day
[I don't remember well]

29. What Your Worst Enemy Sings About You:
High Road - Fort Minor
[It's a mean song to be sung to]

30. Your Secret Admirer Sings About You Every Valentines Day:
In The End - Green Day
[Cool, the lyrics are cute]

31. In Front Of A Huge Crowd You'll Scream:
End - Secondhand Serenade
[END OF THE WORLD RUN FOR YOUR LIVES]

32. This Song Makes You Want To Bake Cookies:
Snow White Queen - Evanescence
[NO LIKE WTH]

33. What is some good advice for me:
Better That We Break - Maroon 5
[Awwww. Sad ):]

34. You Sing This When Your Mad:
This Is How I Disappear - MCR
[Which is surprisingly true o_o]

35. You Sing This When Your Alone and No One Can See Or Hear:
Crank That - Soulja Boy
[Teehee a little truth in that]

36. How You Will Die:
Ayo Technology - 50 Cent
[We should add an i to ayo and it'll be AIYO TECHNOLOGY]

37. Your First Highschool Experience With The Principal He'll Say:
The Way I Are - Timbaland Ft. Keri Hilson
[O: *slaps principal even if it's a girl*]

38. What You Thought Of This Survey:
Way Away - Yellowcard
[hmm...?]

39. Why Your Gay:
Mountain - Good Charlotte
[Makes no sense]

40. What John Will Say When You Find Him Sitting On Your Porch:
The Hard Way - Fort Minor
[Uhm, his ass is in pain -_-]

41. My Halloween song:
Paper Walls - Yellowcard
[WHY?]

42. I always play this song on Christmas morning:
White Shadows - Coldplay
[...?]

43. How is tomorrow going to be:
House Of Wolves - MCR
[Scary]

44. When You Meet Snoop Dogg He'll Say:
Please Don't Stop The Music - Rihanna
[LIKE WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT]

45. Will Be Playing When You Get Your 21st Kiss:
Who Knows - Avril lavigne
[Who knows it might've actually been my 2874283rd kiss]

46. What Rob Jones Will Say To You At His Game:
Behind The Sea - Panic At The Disco
[Huh, who's he?]

47. Will Playing When You Find Out Your Adopted:
Cemetery Drive - MCR
[I was born there o_o]

48. You Sing This When Your Confused:
Famous Last Words - MCR
[Where's your heart. Part of the lyrics.]

49. Your First Words As A TRL Host:
LDN - Lily Allen
[Cause I'll be at London?]

50. The Best Thing About Me Is:
A Message - Coldplay
[What message?]

51. What Your Reality Show Would Be Called:
Tired Of Waiting For You - Green Day
[Haha, what'll it be about?]

52. Your Slogan That Will Sell Your Own Onion Rings:
Spring Nicht - Tokio Hotel
[They're endorsed by Tokio Hotel COOL. Oh, in English, it means Don't Jump. Makes sense]

53. Will Be Playing When Harry Brown Rides By In His Shopping Cart:
The End. - MCR
[....]

54. Frank Aquavellva's Last Words:
Northern Downpour - Panic At The Disco
[Who is he anyway]

55. Why I'm Confused Right Now:
Beverly Hills - Weezer
[That's where I'm from :D]

56. What Some Random Homeless Person Will Say After He Calls Your Name:
Mr Brightside - The Killers
[HELLO I'M A GIRL]

57. Your First Album Title:
They Do, They Don't - Jack Johnson
[Nah not that.]

58. What Your First Words Will Be When You Find Out Your Going To Be Real World:
Everybody's Here - Electrico
[Haha, yea, I'm the last to step out]

59. What Your Mother Thinks Of You:
Tyrant - One Republic
[O:]

60. First Thoughts Of Your Future Husband or Wife:
Prodigal - One Republic
[Is he smart?]

61. Your First Words Were:
Pump It - Black Eyed Peas
[HAHA]

62. You Play This When Your Happy:
Shut Up And Drive - Rihanna
[Used to :D]

63. Last Song You Hear Before You Die:
It's Not Over - Chris Daughtry
[Yes, IT'S NOT OVER]

64. Why I'm Doing This:
Ways & Means - Snow Patrol
[To what?]

65. The Name Of Your First Broadway Play:
She's Not Me - Madonna
[It's going to be about identity theft in Paris :D]

66. The Funniest Phrase You Ever Heard:
Don't You Know Who I Think I Am - Fall Out Boy
[Sounds like the person is drunk]

67. What song is actually accompanying your life?:
Stay Close, Don't Go - Secondhand Serenade
[Don't go, love]

68. The song playing in your head as you die will be:
Oustider - Green Day
[Haha, just means I'm different]

69. If your true love wrote a song, it'd be called:
Umbrella - Rihanna
[Can imagine already]

70. If you had a band, you'd call it:
If I Could - Jack Johnson
[Ehh?]

71. And the first song you'd cover would be:
Cancer - MCR
[No, I don't wanna be an emo rock band. Not that MCR is emo, or rock.]

72. And it would be on an album called:
Velvet - Fergie
[Velvet deaths during chemo]

73. Your fight song is:
Interlude - MCR
[Sounds like after the fight when I've lost]

74. Your wedding song will be:
Back Home - Fort Minor
[Sounds like a Vegas/street wedding]

75. If you lost your memory, the first song you'd remember is:
Feels Like Tonight - Chris Daughtry
[I didn't even know I have that song]

76. If your life were a drama, the opening song would be:
The Best Damn Thing - Avirl Lavigne
[I'm the best, yo]

77. And the ending song would be:
Bottle It Up - Sara Bareilles
[Makes more sense]

78. Somewhere your soul mate is listening to this song:
Early Winter - Gwen Stefani
[Sweet :D]

79. And to finish, a song you shouldn't neglect is:
Platypus (I Hate You) - Green Day
[DEFINITELY]

Subject #987826, WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

xoxo
mandy

What if there was no light?

2008-09-21T22:26:00.002+08:00

Then I'd never know you were once there.

Hello people again :D
Rawr. School starts tomorrow and guess what, I haven't revised. Much. I wasted my life away everyday, damn.
EOYs in ? days. I'm worried, but I haven't got time to study [and yet I have time to come here. The irony]
All right, actually I needed to get work done and needed to download stuff so here I am, typing my life away.

I haven't been able to follow my study plan ):
And, I had a big bad outburst on Friday ): I may seem to be some weird prima donna emotional kid now to the 211-ers present that day, but I guess this is what happens to me when I feel upset or frustrated. OVERLY upset and frustrated. Since then I've calmed down after the outburst. I didn't want to, honestly, but they just came pouring out all right?
The disappointment, the slight anger, the despair, and even emotions that didn't belong to the sole reason I had that outburst all just flowed out.
Believe you me, it wasn't scripted. And I wasn't acting. That was real.
I wouldn't even be able to act that well anyway.
Sorry 211, sorry for that outburst. I know studies are important, but I guess I prioritised wrongly.
Nonetheless, to me, it's one of the most important things I could have to year. Maybe that's why I was upset.

Anyway, NICOLETTE YOU MEANO PIGGO CARELESS WOMAN.
You dropped my face shop card into the pond in church!
RAWR. We couldn't get it out, so hopefully it'll be still stuck there next week so we can go back and figure out how to get it out ):
Oh and I must commend NICE GUY for almost dipping his hand in to help us get.
A little awkward but, THANKS NICE GUY.
Haha, it wasn't until NICE GUY left before I realised he was one of the guys in my church class o_o
Quote unquote Nic, "OMG you're so alert. Where have you been all the time"
And I think the name is Alessio.
Thanks anyway :D

~~I wish we were okay again~~ ~~I wish I never knew you~~ I wish you never knew me.

Hmm, my birthday is coming soon.
Hint hint.

xoxo
mandy

My Starbucks Boy.

2008-09-15T21:33:00.003+08:00

Hello peoples :D
Okay, I have been way too busy to post [no one reads anyway -_-]
And no, this post will not be about starbucks boys.
[Though admittedly, those in America are pretty good. Looking]
Anyway, past week's been hectic like anything, and I was so damn tired everyday despite sleeping like blehly early.
At 11. So, my mood was like, updownupdownsidesideup, and I could be between delirious and serious most of the time.
Teehee, not much sense, but heck.
Let's see, oh wait, I can't remember what I did in the past week -_- except worry that my computer crashed cause my internet dd.
Good though, when my computer didn't work well. Concentrated more on no life work.
The Song Peng person is back on our class blog. God, can someone kick him to Africa or something, stop harassing us you idiot.
Oh and watched Love's Labour's Lost on Saturday :D was good.

~~I wish we could progress more for drama~~
All right, 211A, I know I've been harsh on you guys for drama. But I'm terribly worried and frustrated. Yes, some of you might have been irritated or damn pissed off by me now, but FYI, it is after the last thing we're doing together, so can we give in our all this time?
~~Sometimes even I doubt whether I can do it ):~~

Haha, oh yea, I cut-ed my hair :D It didn't look any different at first, but according to some people I look more lian-ish. Don't think so, still look like a nerd rawr.
Maybe it's the fringe, but if I layer it more, it'd be like 2 strands of hair left?
RAWR.
Haha, never mind, I shall leave it at that (: I look fine, I'm confident when I need confidence, I'm happy.
Who am I kidding, I'm frustrated shit.
Never mind AMANDA YOU CAN DO IT.

Oh yea, tag replies. Hardly any to reply, so shall be quick.

//Grace Haha, yea it's cool (: HOW COME YOU HAVE MACBOOK!! And I don't want the normal ones, I WANT THE ONE I SAWW.
//Caitlin Haha, IT IS UP DON'T SEND FOR A HITMAN! Teehee, I think Zoey edited it to be this short -_- Anyway, no problem, why wouldn't I wanna link you?
//Grace Cause I'm a dumb ass who procrastinates rawr.
//Andro HAHA OMG I JUST REALISED XD okay I'm dumb. Officially.
//Grace Oh man, I think Bio was just crap ): Anyway, you don't have to download the songs, I already did.
//Shu Hui YOU MEANO PIGGO! I shall borrow from you after eoys yea :D RAWR NEVER TELL ME EARLIER! I BOUGHT THE ALBUM ALREADY!! But I agree, that it was quite different (: Good I guess, but I sorta expected more, oops. But the art was worth it and so were the pictures (:
//si xian HAHA REALLY? Yay! Another person who likes it :D I went to get the song too, I wanna buy their album. LOL my old blogskin was made by my friend for me :D It's the same person who made THIS blogskin (: YAY ANOTHER PINK FAN!
//qiuluan HAHA LOL. You gotta be more careful tsk tsk xD

See told you it would be short :D
I wanna go shopping :D Hopefully I can go shop at vivo with peoples TO GET MY WALLET!!!!

~~I'm glad you took my advice dear. You look much better now~~
xoxo
mandy

Ba-da-bump.

2008-09-07T22:54:00.002+08:00

You know I feel it in my heartbeat

Hello peoples :D
Oh no, holidays are ending in one hour ):
Rawr, but never mind, I can ganbate and do this studying shit D:
Anyway, went shopping at Vivo today :D It feels like forever since I shopped man. Surprisingly, even though I walked around the place for about 4 hours [with my mom],my legs don't feel tired at all :D YAY SUPER LEGS.
~~But they're still fat~~
Anyway, I only managed to buy two pieces of stuff ): I wanted to buy shoes, but couldn't find a pair that I wanted. I mean, there was ONE pair of heels [not really high though, just nice :D] that was really pretty. TOO BAD IT DIDN'T FIT MY FEET. RAWR.
It just looks weird on my feet, so I didn't buy.
Anyway, after walking around a bit, my mom decided to go downstairs :D LIKE FINALLY.
Anyway, so first we went to Mango.
Browsed through and saw NICE JEANS NO. 1 :D
Then didn't buy.
Explain later.
Then went on to Topshop.
SAW LOTS OF NICE CLOTHES OMG.
Saw NICE JEANS NO. 2
Didn't buy.
Explain later.
So I was getting disappointed, then we stepped in Forever 21.
WOOTS. I got both of my stuff from there :D
CAUSE I SAW NICE JEANS NO. 3, 4, 5, 6, AND SO ON.
But could only buy one, rawrr. So i went to buy a shirt dress too :D
Anyway, I FINALLY BOUGHT SOMETHING. I was really tempted to buy one of their wallets, but mumsies said NO, so I've decided to buy it by myself with my own pocket money.
One day.
Anyway, this is the reason why I bought NICE JEANS NO.3 instead of the other two.
NICE JEANS NO. 1 : 39.90 EUROS
NICE JEANS NO. 2 : 61.00 EUROS
NICE JEANS NO. 3 : 58.00 SINGAPORE DOLLARS.

Haha, that's the stupid reason. My mom wanted me to buy the one from Mango at first, but I decided to be nice and spend less of her money.
But I'm satisfied already. Tralalala.
~~If only I could get my Havainas.~~

Oh yea, schedule.
Mon : Science (Bio)
Tues : Cut hair, History
Wed : History
Thurs : Appointment with some specialist, Geography
Fri : Geography
Sat : Tuition
Sun : Math

That's it I guess :D
xoxo
mandy

Cookie jars.

2008-09-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

can't keep my hands off the cookie jar

OH MY GOOSE, COOKIE JAR IS SUCH A NICE SONG :D
Whoever is a nice person, download for me, I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!
THANKEWW.

Anyway, I baked a nice nice cake just now :D
I thought that it'd fail, being my first time baking a sponge cake and all, BUT IT DIDN'T :D
And no, it's not for anyone, I just needed to test my baking skills (: I don't want it to be rusty, no?
Anyway, if my family doesn't finish it by Sunday, I'll bring it to school on Monday. It wouldn't taste as good as the fresh and hot one, but nevermind :D
I took two hours to bake it haha.
By the way, it;s BAKED APPLE SPONGE PUDDING.

Oh yea, someone download Pink's So What (I'm Still A Rock Star) for me, pretty please :D
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na, We're all gonna get in a fight
Tsk, Amanda, go study.
Okay, I'm off :D

Badadadadada
xoxo
mandy

The sun doesn't like you.

2008-09-03T23:04:00.004+08:00

RAWR.
I haven't been following the study plan properly D:
See, I knew it, something would screw up my plans.
Anyway, movie-d with grace today (: watched 12 lotus.
okay, I don't get it, why do the singaporean critics degrade it so much? It's a okay movie, despite the abrupt ending. Sad movie though ):
Went to get my green tea latte yesterday while studying at starbucks (:
IT WAS SO GOOD OMG. I'M OFFICIALLY IN LOVE WITH IT. And honestly, hot is better than cold. And it looks so much more glam when you hold the paper cup (:
Hahaha, never mind.
I know i should be studying now, but I want to take a nice nice break instead (: But I'm so sian that I've decided to steal [muahaha] two of andro's quizzes to do :3 haha, I know, stewwpeed. But never mind. I've learnt to deal with my dumb mind teehee :D

QUIZ ONE
Rules :
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
Bleed It Out - Linkin Park
[Haha, I'm the advocate of slasher-ism (:]

2. How would you describe yourself?
Thriller - Fall Out Boy
[YAY I THRILLL]

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Thunder - Boys Like Girls
[Thunder is a sweet song (:]

4. How do you feel today?
Sing - Travis
[...? I'm not in the singing mood sighs]

5. What is your life's purpose?
Whisper - Evanescence
[eeyur no. I'm loud. Unless you mean to whisper nice stuff to my patients :D]

6. What is your motto?
Without You - Christina Aguilera
[Huh? uhm, should I follow the lyrics or the song name?]

7. What do your friends think of you?
Hate That I Love You - Rihanna
[haha, I knew it, you love me (:]

8. What do you think of your parents?
Suppose - Secondhand Serenade
[I suppose I have to bear them]

9. What do you think about very often?
Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
[Does it even exist O: okay, uhm, I daydream a lot then]

10. What is 2 + 2?
Candyman - Christina Aguilera
[4 sugar coated candymen makes my cherry pop :D]

11. What do you think of your best friend?
The (after) Life of the Party - Fall Out Boy
[okay...]

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls
[awww, my hero :D]

13. What is your life story?
I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance
[sad...I don't love you]

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Friday Night - Lily Allen
[Go clubbing, yo]

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Devil Wouldn't Recognise You - Madonna
[Two meanings: one, you're eviler than the devil. Two, too good]

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
My Last Breath - Evanescence
[LOL DANCE OF DEATH :D]

17. What will they play at your funeral?
Happy Holidays You Bastard - Blink 182
[HAHA]

18. What is your hobby/interest?
The Rock Show - Blink 182
[Going for a rock concert. Cool]

19. What is your biggest fear?
Light Up The Sky - Yellowcard
[ehh?

20. What is your biggest secret?
Walking Contradiction - Green Day
[IS IT TRUE? O: absocoolios.]

21. What do you think of your friends?
The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
[Escape from what O:]

22. What will you post this as?
Goodbye - Secondhand Serenade
[I decided not to (:]

QUIZ TWO
Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names and/or objects, but nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same first initial. You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question. And Have Fun With It!

1) 4 LETTER WORD: ~~Asian~~[oopsies (:] ACID

2) BOY NAME: Aloysius [which is a stupid name -_-]

3) GIRL NAME: Angelica

4) OCCUPATION: Acrobat (: [I'm going to watch Cirque du Soleil. YAYYY]

5) A COLOR: Aquamarine

6) SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Ankle boots. Used to anyway (:

7) BEVERAGE: Anything :D

8) FOOD: Angel cake (:

9) SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: A set of new clothes. Rawr, I don't know.

10) A PLACE: Ancient Greece!

11) REASON FOR BEING LATE: Asked for directions, and they gave me the WRONG ONE.

12) SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: Asshole!!! [sorry, it's true.]

Okay, still very sian, but never mind, I've decided to do more constructive work :D
xoxo
mandy

my heart beats for,

2008-08-31T00:00:00.005+08:00

Heyy (:
Can't believe holidays started. And I can't believe like, one month after hols is EOYs -_- beats the purpose of hols. I know I'll waste it away.
All right, hopefully not, but oh well.

Monday - Geog project; study Bio
Tuesday - Chinese stuff; going out; study Bio
Wednesday - Going out [tentatively]; study Geog
Thursday - Tuition; study Geog
Friday - Study Hist
Sat - Study Hist
Sun - Study Bio

That's my boring plan for the week. I know, I have like, no life, study everyday. RAWR.
No life ny girl, what did you expect.
But I know, as usual, something will screw my schedule up, and I won't care. Lalala.
Happens all the time anyway.

Yesterday was horrible.
Do results matter that much? How I wonder.
I hate you two. And I half mean it.
I only don't feel anything now cause my anger has gone off.
And I just don't care. Oh well.

I've changed, and I can tell.
I've become a superficial freak, an airhead, an empty shell of a shithole.
I see almost everything on the surface now, it's both good and bad.
Good part is when I don't get upset too easily by words, and it makes me happy.
Bad part is when I judge superficially.
Where has the kid with all that emotion, all the words, all that's smart, all that's skeptical gone?
Where has the kid who looks beneath gone?
I don't know, maybe she's realised that this world has no place for ugliness.
Cause she realised that no one really looks beneath anymore.
But no matter. Maybe that kid will come back again (:

On the other hand, I want lots of albums now (:
1. Jason Mraz's We sing. We dance. We steal things.
2. Panic! At the Disco's Welcome to the Sound of Pretty. Odd.
3. Norah Jones' Not Too Late
4. The Ting Tings' We Started Nothing
That's probably it (:

Oh yea and tag replies (:

//Beth I miss Scarlet already ): and yes, how can I not link my adopted mei mei (: And let's do a good job for SYF and next year's performance, so that people would REGRET not coming for our performances, and CLOBBER THEIR HEADS WITH THEIR KEYBOARDS :D
//GRACE Aiyo, THANKED YOU LIKE A MILLION TIMES! You deserved it (:
//shu hui LEND ME ASAP!!!
//GRACE I should be asking you, WHERE'S MY LETTER!!
//shu hui Linked already (: and you did for Scarlet yea? I bet it was an unforgettable experience :D
//GRACE THANK YOU GRACE FOR EVERYTHING (:
//qiuluan yups, already did (: did you like Scarlet?!?!
//Yan ying Hello junior, you did well for Scarlet yo!
//qiuluan THANKS FOR SUPPORTING ME <333
//shu hui haha you too!
//si xian haha duh! If not how did you see this xD
//Yan Ying Yups (: so you better do a good job for my graduation production! AND PLAN A FANTASTIC GRADUATION PARTY FOR MY BATCH.
//qiuluan HAHA it's SO obvious it was fake hair xD I mean, my hair isn't big and long enough for the hairstyle lah please xD different colour!
//GRACE WHY FRUIT PLUS!?! YOU SHOULD GET ME HAVAINAS!
//caitlin HMPH! I shouldn't even link you for that XD haha but I did anyway, CAUSE I MISS YOU LOADS AND I WILL ALWAYS DO!
//sixian yups relinked!
//GRACE O: why you wanna die?! Can eat noodles already what! And yea, safari is better, but I don't have a Macbook so yea :\

JACK JOHNSON AND JOHN LEGEND IS LOVE.

People say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But how much ugliness can the eye behold?
xoxo
mandy

old dreams

2008-08-28T22:29:00.002+08:00

Hello all (:
Actually, not much happened this week, but oh wells, shall update about happenings on Sun (:
I'm in a good mood. Jack Johnson does me so much good man.
Oh today, I went to accompany Yi Jing for her hair cut and baked brownies at my house later (: YAY IT WAS SUCCESSFUL WOOTS.
Haha, and caitlin, I WILL LINK YOU DARLING! OMG OMG OMG I MISS YOU SO SO SO MUCH, LIKE HOW I MISS SCARLET!
And that's a lot you know (:

Anyway, here's a quiz I took from her blog. It's so cute xD

do this quiz, and go to urbandictionary.com and search the meaning of your answer. Then copy and paste a meaning to this quiz.

1) Your name?
Amanda

A women named Amanda is typically very beautiful with an incredible body and nice eyes. They are known to be very loveable. Amandas are envied by other women.

2) Your age?
14

The age of sexual consent in CANADA. When you turn 14 you can be fucked.

3) One of your friends?
Zoey

SweetHeart, Sweetest Person. Very Kind and Loving. Always trying to get along with everyone.

4) What should you be doing?
Homework

Homework: (Noun) a punishment given to students by evil teachers after the students have already put in 7 hours of hard labor.

5) Favorite color?
Red ~~and pink~~

This describes the condition of the person who has been smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol--they are red, as in red in the face (from the alcohol) AND/OR red in the eyes (from the marijuana)

6) Hometown?
Malaysia

The country where education is very highly politicised.Also a country where Malays are literaly spoonfed from their moment of their birth up to their deaths.Even if you are the no.1 student in Malaysia,you won't get a place in a public university of your choice if you are not a Malay.A Malay can beat you to the seat even if he's a freakin' retard.That is guaranteed.
Friendly?Yes.Non-racist?Not always so.

7) Month of your birthday?
October

NUDY MAGAZINE DAY!

8) Last person you talked to on the phone?
guy

The coolest name in the world.

Haha so cute hahaha.
I'm lazed out by Jack Johnson songs :3
pyuuuuuuu

xoxo
mandy

Tattoos and Memories.

2008-08-24T22:31:00.005+08:00

Scarlet's over.
For all the people who've watched it; good for you. I hope our efforts could show through. 9 months of literal blood, sweat and tears.
For all the people who didn't; I'm not gonna be a petty kid and say TOO BAD YOU MISSED THE SHOW THAT WE SPENT OUR LIFE ON. No, it's just sad that you didn't take the effort to come. The point of buying a ticket was to WATCH, not to improve ticket sales. If you never wanted to come in the first place, why bother?
[Unless you're Grace Koh, who has a really good reason. GET WELL SOON DARLING]

Scarlet is over. ~~Finally~~Regrettably.
I don't know why, but the Director totally killed my emotions when he decided to put in the discussion to the audience. I mean, before the show on Fri, I cried until my make-up almost ran, then had to stop cause show was going to start.
Honestly, I'd miss the ah-batch when they go ):
Mummy and niece, and all the aunties too.
I'm going to cry during handover. No matter how weird it is.

All these 9 months. So much has happened.
From last years anticipation of sec ones, to the fractured arm that would cost me my role in the first installment, but brought the hidden blessing of being in sounds, to the first installment, to becoming a filler, to becoming one of the Hang family, to becoming Hang Li Poh's mom in the final installment, to the fake hair, to the costume, to the final installment itself.
We've come a long way.

I haven't been the best batchmate, junior, senior, actress, I know.
I've been mean, critical, and at the same time, I haven't been giving my all.
But i tried to give it my all on Saturday. And Friday too.
I know evreyone did too (:

I'm proud of the Sec Ones.
Yes, you've been given the boring-est job. I understand, I was once in crew too. But you've got to see, that we all appreciate you.
Crew members are like actors too; they work their magic behind screens, behind the scenes, behind the audience's eyes.
They don't expect the audience to thank, which just goes to show how humbly good they are yea (:
Runners; All of us actresses would be late, would be late for the show, if you never existed. Thanks for the encouragement, the way that you guys gave me that last hug before I went on stage, the way you guys go "Jia You" when you open the doors. Little acts go a long way.
Flapper; Thanks so much! Even though being a flapper seems to be the most boring job, cause you're all alone and everything, it's really really really important cause if you don't raise the flapper, NO VIDEO WILL BE SHOWN O: it would kill the whole approach of the whole show don't you think?
Sounds; Hey guys, you guys are so so so so SO important you know (: [typically the crew are all important] you make me a proud senior. The Director may be yell-ish and noisy, and downright rude on the cans, but hey, if you could stand all his weird ranting, it just goes to show that you have successfully "overcome" the noise (:

To Sec Twos/Batchmates
Hello everybody!
I can't tell you guys how much I'm appreciative of everything you guys did, both for Scarlet and not for Scarlet. I am proud of everyone, yo! (:
Hang Li Sha; thanks for being such a sweet, innocent, funny little sister xD can't believe you're supposed to be older than Hang Li Bao. You were good with the vocal training, even better than us who have been here longer xD You have a gift, see (: And thanks for being such a wonderful younger sis too!
Ongsee; you did a good job for Scarlet, yo! I know it gets irritating when you always get the kiddy roles [cause of your looks xD], but hey, your role is interesting. Better than mine at least. And I still have that picture of you with the messed up lippie xD
Limsee; like me, you had the most changes in terms of the roles (: from ibeauty to complex plot, to a thoroughly broken woman, you have the saddest role of all the complex plot peoples ): but you did a good job (: almost made me cry you know (:
Hang Li Bao/Mingsee; haha you sicko xD sure you're a little sick in the head, and horribly lame [like zomg], but quite funny sometimes. I mean, it's been fun having you around [free jacket!!], and it's fun to tease stepdad with you xD STEP DAD OMG. Anyway, good job for Scarlet, especially on Sat. I was so scared that you would break out of character and laugh when your friends laughed at you. BUT YOU DIDN'T. Yay younger sis!
Nasee; you did good for your role, especially the rape scene. My friends couldn't hear you sometimes [a bit muffled], but they said they uhm, could feel your pain (: good job, on the whole. I can totally tell that you put in your best yea? (:
Hang Li Hao/Niesee; haha, quote yuan ming, you're adopted so that we can bully you. Haha, that's not true okay! Maybe in yuan ming's case, but it's not true for me (: Sure, it's true that you're nice to bully, but you're nice to play with too (: Nice to joke with too xD I can almost imagine your role for SYF/production'09. AMANDA ONG'S YOUNGER SISTER XD No offences whatsoever. You're just really cute (:
Hang Li Poh/Wongsee; yups, the first of the Hang daughters. We don't always agree, but that's good isn't it? Room for discussion haha. Anyway, thanks for being my "daughter" on stage (: I know I couldn't be a good mother [being unmotherly], but you've tried your best to make the best out of our scenes yea (: I'm proud of you, yo!

To Sec Threes;
Hey guys, you're gonna be Sec Four next year O: Haha, kinda obvious, but oh well, I'm still in self-denial.
Anyway, I could totally tell that you guys put in lots of effort for the last two nights :D it makes me happy to know that my senior love their cca too [or at least, want to make the best of their show] and would give it teir all. So I can assure you, that I'd give my all next year, for SYF and your graduating piece. Sure, I'm not TCN's gem or anything, au contraire, I know my acting limits, but I'd give it my best shot yea?
Complex Plot-ters; Hey, you guys did a great job you know :D I mean, compared to previous rehearsals, it's a marked improvement from the past, where you were all unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the roles of being a wife. I mean, even with the mind of 15 year olds, you guys could DO your roles (: Well done peoples!
ibeauty-cians; Hey, you guys were oh-so-good! My friends all loved your performance [even though they admitted that your fake smiles look scary xD]. The energy was rather good that day you know (: and all your lines never fail to make me laugh (x especially rotten taupok. The only reason why the audience didn't laugh was probably cause they were too scared to, since this was a serious play and all (: GOOD JOB PEOPLES, you were really good. [like 49820984029 times better than me anyway]
Women's Charter/ Rape and Genocide/ Amended WC; hey, you guys did real good xD I loved the dance you know, it was so funny and could. I mean, if I had to do that, I would 1. die of laughter 2. mix up steps 3. be so focused I forget my lines. Great multi-taskers, yo! And you guys were reallllly goood during Rape and Genocide (: We did good!!

To the Sec Fours;
I can't believe it, but you guys are leaving so soon ): I feel so sad and empty after Scarlet. No doubt it's because of the discussion, but also cause of the fact that you guys were leaving ):
Auntie Zong Bin~~/Ying Ci's butch partner~~; ohh gosh, I can never forget how we always teased you about being a butch xD truth is, you're really quite pretty, and talented too xD HIPPO! Hippo looks gay, but oh well, suits you, haha. I still remember in Sec One, I thought you were some kind of formidable Sec Four that daos her juniors )x but it's a big huge misconception I guess (: I mean, after all, you've been so funny and bully-able sometimes (: I wished I had the chance to work with you for crew though. And you really inspired me to do crew [no idea why though O_O]. My friends said you did great for ibeauty ~~[and that you were really skinny]~~. I'm jealous! And I think it's true too! I love the glowater line, it was exceptionally good when you said it.
Auntie Hui Ying; Sighs, when I was in Sec One, I had to look up to you to talk. It's still the same now ): Thanks so much, for your unending patience, worry, guidance, EVERYTHING, to help me with my role (: i mean, you spent all the time you could have used to rest before the show to help! I'm so very grateful you know (: and I can't believe oit, you're homophobic ~~so I probably shouldn't tell you that Estee and Rachel had a video of you changing during Mercury.~~ Haha, I said NOTHING. I WILL MISS YOU 989108098432 MORE THAN A FAT BOY ON A DIET MISSES HIS CHOCOLATE CAKE.
Auntie Han Jing; Haha, remember last year, me and LinSha always went out with you for dinner (x It was really fun you know, and somehow, we found out so much more on the past of TCN. And funny, I didn't think that you were short, until everyone said that you were xD haha, guess I was slow then. You know, I always held you in awe cause you were a councilor? Well, not just that, but because you could juggle cca and council and class work equally well in our eyes (: Yes, so our batch didn't have any councilors, but I'm sure many of us would want to emulate you haha (: Thanks, for helping with my role as much as Hui Ying did, if not more, and giving one of the most constructive comments I could have to improve with my roles. Thanks for the voice warm-ups you always initiated (: they helped me a lot, and I learnt that having a mike doesn't exactly mean clarity in words (: thanks Han Jing, for every little thing (: AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME HUG LOR MEE OMGG. He's so huggable, and must be happy to have an owner like you xD
Niece Ying Ci~~/Butch Senior~~/shallots; Ohh man, how did the president end up being my niece?
Haha, guess what, I thought you were a Sec Four for three months last year, and was kinda sad cause I thought you were going to leave. Maybe you were too funny xD I know us juniors irritate you a lot, with our huggings, kisses, and name-calling (: hope you knew it's all in the name of fun [DUH]. You know, the reason I cried on Friday was cause you started, and the ball just started rolling from there. It's like the sudden icy realisation that THIS IS the last production you're having with us, and that it's almost there. The end. The experience has been great since day one, when I stepped into TCN, and you're part of the reason (:
And niece, this may be one of the last times I'd get to call you my niece, so last words would be STOP CALLING ME PIPAGAO/PPG AND BE RESPECTFUL TO YOUR ROYAL AUNT HMMPH
Mommy Ping Hui/Royal Queen; Haha, you were probably greatly distressed by us your daughters when we saw step-dad (: can totally understand why, we were being funny. I'm sure you didn't take it to hard (: We kids are born curious. After all, you produced us asexually xD
I would always remember you as our sentimental and capable senior (: I mean, being in charge of both the first and final installment haven't been easy as it looks. You have to control all 30 of us, and it's difficult when no one wants to listen ): but you never really lost your temper, not in front of us anyway, but still make a point to correct us (: It's been great. I mean, thanks so much for meticulously helping every actress with her role, though it should have been strictly our own job (: and the fact that you've always been guiding us through every step of the way, facilitating our discussion, making a point to let us improve, and seeing our potential, opening us up to be more willing to give to this cca (: I hope we haven't let you down for Scarlet, and remember
MOMMY, YOUR DAUGHTER(S) WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU LIKE HOW PLUTO LOVES IT'S GRAPES.
I can't thank the sec fours enough, can't tell them how much I love them for their whole-heartedness in cca, their giving spirit to this club. I can only hope that I'd turn out like them too (:

AV CREW; you're not forgotten! THANKS YOU GUYS FOR EVERYTHING! I may not have worked with you, but I know my juniors have learnt much from you guys, and I know I will be one of those crewers one day, working with you, and learning new things (: Thanks for the time you've spent listening to the Director yelling, and the number of times you've tried to keep calm under unforeseen circumstances. I CAN THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH.

of course, I THANK(AND LOVE) ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE SUPPORTED SCARLET.
Thanks everybody for their gifts. Late or not, I'm still pleasently surprised by every flower, every bar of chocolate, every folded star, every gift (:

Scarlet. It's over ):
xoxo
mandy
PS I really want to love my cca, like how the seniors can.

Of things you never knew.

2008-08-21T09:34:00.002+08:00

All right, dear sister.
So you think that I've been making insensitive and annoying comments?
Haha, nice one.
Who was it who started the oh-so sarcastic?
Oh let's see, uhm, maybe you?
You know, I used to be close to you and all (oh who knows, maybe you hated me from the start), but things started going cold this year.
It's not that I don't like you, it just makes me sad when I think about it.
I just don't understand what I did -_- I mean, you're making more sarcastic comments than me.
Like hello, you're supposed to help me with my job. Not sit there and be like "I don't know"
And honestly, you're so much more sarcastic than me.
Whatever, you don't care. Cause nothing would change your mind -_-

We're all stubborn people.

xoxo
mandy

O:

2008-08-20T21:27:00.001+08:00

SCARLET IN TWO DAYS!!
WHOEVER WANTS TO GO, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME NOOWWWWW.

I'm risking more grounding but heck.

SCARLETSCARLETSCARLETSCARLET!
COME WATCH.
TICKETS ARE 10$ EACH.
ON 22ND & 23RD AUGUST
NYGH AUDITORIUM
7.30PM

COME COME COME

xoxo
mandy

Handlebars.

2008-08-18T08:15:00.002+08:00

Hello all!
GRACE I REALISED I DIDN'T THANK YOU FOR DESIGNING MY SKIN!
THANK YOU GRACE!!

guess what, I'm grounded for (?) days.
Whatever, I don't really care -_-
So anyway, I'd be unable to come online for quite A WHILE.
They say that I can't go online until they've decided that I'm a good girl.
Whatever, we'll see.

Oh and I would love love LOVE the person who sends me this song called "Handlebars". It's so good (:
The first line of the lyrics is
I can ride a bike with no handlebards, no handlebars, no handlebars.
WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU GET ME THAT SONG.
[love as in, friendly love]

and I can split the atom in a molecule.

xoxo
mandy

new day,

2008-08-17T00:01:00.002+08:00

HELLO ALL.
I have decided to reopen my blog.
Bad time to do it, I know. But it doesn't matter, I won't be posting often.
Anyway, I kinda lost the links to everyone [booohhhooooo], so if you wanna be linked, just ask (:
I'm nice.
And i've decided to let people realise my blog is open slowly. I don't really wanna go around telling too many people. For now.

BY THE WAY, I have a production this coming Friday and Saturday!
IJ PEOPLE COME WATCH.
ANYBODY COME WATCH.
Contact me if you wanna buy (:

Scarlet: Final Installment
22nd & 23rd August
7.30pm
NYGH Auditorium
$10

xoxo
mandy

doo doo do doo dooooo

2008-06-24T22:37:00.002+08:00

haha okay, that's just some random tune

school's... slightly not okay. it's an irritating place to be at.

anyway, to while away time, shall do two quizzes (:

first one's from darling andro
Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each players answers the questions about themselves.

Starting time : 10.40 pm
Name : Mandy [or Miss Nobody]
Sisters : 1
Brothers : NA
Shoe size : erm... 5 and a half or 6
Height : 1.67m or something.

Where do you live : on a sunny island where it plays so nice so smart on a regular basis
Favourite drinks : water and PASSIONFRUIT TEA.
Favourite breakfast : MILK.

HAVE YOU EVER...

Been on a plane : yup
Swam in the ocean : double yup
Fallen asleep at school : a lot
Broken someone's heart : maybe (:
Fell off your chair : don't know
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yup (: but would do some stuff in between
Saved e-mails : i thought it's on auto-save?

What is your room like : YELLOW AND MESSY

What's right beside you : books -_-

What is the last thing you ate : BEN & JERRY'S

EVER HAD...
Chicken pox : yups
Sore throat : duh
Stitches : nope
Broken nose : don't know

DO YOU...
Believe in love at first sight : nuh-uh
Like picnics : yea, with nice tea and nice green grass

WHO WAS/WERE THE LAST PERSON/PEOPLE ...
You danced with : erm... can't remember xD
Made you smile : Kimya Dawson. or her song
You last yelled at : myself

TODAY DID YOU...
Talk to someone you like : yea, like my FRIENDS
Kissed anyone : nope
Get sick : nope
Miss someone : yea
Eat : DUH, else i'd starve

Best feeling in the world : knowing that someone cares

Do you sleep with stuffed animals : haha like 5 of them? okay, fine 3.

What's under your bed : another mattress

Who do you really hate : not any one. i mean, if i did, that person is in hot soup

What time is it now : 10.47pm

RANDOM :
Is there a person on your mind right now : yea
Do you have any siblings : erm, see above
Do you want children : yea
Do you like your hand-writing : passive (:
Are your toe nails painted : not today
Whose bed rather than yours would you sleep in : erm, my grandma's bed. it's nice and squishy
What colour shirt are you wearing now : white with print on it
Do you sleep with the TV on : i hate TVs in rooms
What are you doing right now : sian-ing
Have you ever crawled through a window : yea. through the window in my grandmother's house, into the living room
Can you handle the truth : yea. but i'd just go like wtf first
Are you too forgiving : maybe not
Are you closer to your mother or father : NA
Who was the last person you cried in front of : my soft toy
How many people can you say you really loved : 2
Do you eat healthy : i TRY
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you : yups
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : my evil blog and probably grace and zoey and my bed
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : lalala
Are you confident : maybe

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
[a]going to preschool one year earlier
[b]wearing my first red converse shoe to preschool and realise they're not allowed
[c]doodle
[d]listening to crap chinese songs
[e]being besties with a pair of guy twins

5 things on my to-do list today:
[a]complete quiz
[b]go to school [which i was back from]
[c]cleep earlier
[d]homeowrk crap
[e]reflect on my awful life

5 snacks I enjoy:
[a]is passionfruit tea counted?
[b]tic tacs
[c]cookies
[d]chocolates
[e]apples!

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
[a]get a porsche
[b]buy facebook
[c]sell it again to get more money
[d]go on a crazy shopping spree
[e]eat proper nice food daily

5 of my bad habits:
[a]being messy
[b]this stupid blog
[c]not doing work
[d]being pessimistic A LOT
[e]procrastinator, enough said

5 places I have lived in:
[a]Tangkak
[b]Melaka
[c]Gopeng
[d]Singapore
[e]Boarding school

5 jobs I've had:
erm, i marked my aunt's students exam paper once (:

~~5 people I tag:~~
ignored as always.

another one from darling zoey (:

LAYER 1: THE OUTSIDE
Name: Mandy [or Miss Nobody]
D.O.B.: 1810
Current status: Part time student, full time girl
Eye-colour: changes
Hair-colour: is pretty black
Right or left: Rightie.

LAYER 2: THE INSIDE
My Heritage: erm, shanghainese (: and ijbtian and _ian
Fears: being left alone after being with lots of people
My Weaknesses: NICE SONGS THAT MAKE ME GO OOOOOOHHH
My perfect pizza: i don't really like pizza anymore

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW...
My Thoughts First Waking Up: WHAT THE HELL IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP? my alarm must be spoilt
My Bedtime: 11.45pm onwards
My Most Missed Memory: wouldn't have remembered it much.

LAYER 4: MY PICK
Pepsi or Coke: NONE
McDonald’s or Burger King: NONE
Single or Group Dates: ERM, I DON'T KNOW
Adidas or Nike: adidas (:
Tea or Nestea: tea duh
Chocolate or Vanilla: OR
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino

LAYER 5: DO YOU...
Smoke: no yuck
Curse: well of course you idiot
Take Showers: no i don't oh and did i mention i have 42098429 PINK ponies?
Have a Crush: used to
Think You’ve Been In Love: Huh?
Go To School: YES
Want To Get Married: Maybe not. i can't divorce
Believe In Yourself: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY. not.
Think You're A Health Freak: yea maybe

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST, HAVE YOU...
Drunk Alcohol: yups, vodka is nice
Gone To The Mall: hell yea
Been Onstage: yups
Eaten Sushi: -_-
Dyed Your Hair: noooo don't want to unless it's highlights.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER…
Played A Stripping Game: erm, not that i know of
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: not to fit, just changed

LAYER 8: AGE YOU’RE HOPING…
To Get Married: i don't know, 26

LAYER 9: IN A GUY, WHAT ARE YOUR PREFERENCES?
Best Eye Colour: Blue or those that change like mine
Best Hair Colour: black or whatever that compliments the eyes
Short Hair or Long Hair: erm, short?

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
A Minute Ago: MSN
An Hour Ago: MSN
4.5 Hours Ago: looking for info for projects
A Month Ago: thinking definitely
A Year Ago: talking to a good friend

LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCES…
I love: to eat
I feel: tired and stuck in a capsule
I hate: to cold war
I hide: in a corner when i'm upset
I miss: being a delightful happy-go-lucky kid
I need: to listen to more of my songs

~~LAYER 12: TAG PEOPLE~~ ignored. as always
i think i shall go sleep soon. i don't have much to report/say.

Give it time and you'll be fine.
xoxo
mandy

Last post of the holidays

2008-06-22T18:25:00.004+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE!
I'm so psyched. for school.
haha I'm kidding. the only thing I'm psyched about is probably me going to spend money tomorrow (:
and getting 30 dollars back from people on tues. WHEEE.
god, i desperately need a new wallet and/or pouch. and i need to get some essentials. and i need to basically get lots of stuff.
AND I NEED THE JUNO SOUNDTRACK. i can't stand listening to songs on the web.
so i think the total cost of everything is : 30 dollars or more.
wow, i'm such the evil spender.

can't believe holidays are over so soon. what's there to like about it? nothing except some stuff.
but then again, what's there to like about school? another gate to endless quarrels, misunderstandings and cold wars. not to mention stupid homework.
but that's another story (:

all right tag replies. yes, i'm bored. what's funny is that i'm not even done with homework. still have history essays and chinese freaking sias. and chinese tuition homework. oh damn.

andro// GREEN DAY! the old songs are arguably better, but i love them all the same.
Desiree// haha, you gotta thank yourself for making that saturday happen yeaps?
Yan Ying// haha me too! that's why i posted it (x
caitlin// I'M NOT SKINNY WHEN YOU LEFT OOO: seriously, i was all right (: and which recent picture did you see??
LS// god, i'm not some skinny shit -_-
caitlin// it's somewhere in my head i guess.
GRACE// duh, Pushing Daisies is one of my favourite shows (: EVER. it's under Heroes though.
andro// so sad right? by then, i'd jsut be old enough to watch a M18 movie
zl// wth, your legs have nice muscles )x and no mine are not slim.
GRACE// THAT SOUNDS SUPER WRONG, WOMAN.
caitlin// ahaha, it totally made my day too when i watched it. MIKA makes super, happy videos that makes everyone all squishy inside (:
LS// yes, duh -_- but currently, i like passionfruit tea.
andro// haha everyone says the same thing xD
qiuluan// no problem :]
jacq// WHOA YOU TAGGED. DAMN I'M HONOURED. AND EVERYONE LOVES THE VIDEO. unless they have screwed up minds which hate candy colours.
LS// but nonetheless, they make me happy (: sometimes, we oughta just ignore the hidden meanings and enjoy the mindless flow of words. maybe that's what she always wanted us to do.
caitlin// haha yea. juno really made her "famous" i guess. but the songs are nice and fuzzy. THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING THE SOUNDTRACK. i can't find her album in singapore.
andro// YES HE IS. well, that's what they said last time. it's not confirmed, but he came last year for the mosaic music festival. I WANNA GO.
GRACE// please lah, i haven't even finished til this day -_-
caitlin// are you serious? omg, evangeline is such a nice and RARE name, so unlike amanda or something.
LS// well, now you know. and yes, I TOLD YOU LIKE 409270958 TIMES. he didn't look as good in POTC though. and yea, who deosn't like orlando bloom at least once xD
jacq// OMG COOL. i always thought heidi was a nice name (:
zl// exactly. he just looks like a jack sparrow wannabe in POTC.
andro// haha you guessed right xD can you believe it, i was so bored i went to watch the hottie and the nottie xD

shall go try to do history homework.
OR WATCH TV!

xoxo
mandy

You wake up next to your new lover.

2008-06-21T17:08:00.003+08:00

hello.
WATCHED TEMPLE YESTERDAY (:
omg, the acting and choreography was so awesome! i mean, it's to the point that they can cover up for each others mistake or something. there was one part where the actress forgot her line and for THAT split second another actor just continued with his own line. i wouldn't have known that mistake if not for the fact that
1. the actress was speaking in chinese, so there were subtitles and she missed out one line.
2. the pause was slight.
yeaps, it was good. very well choreographed.
pity i didn't get like half the play. too many images. got messed up -_-
but it was really good.
heck, there was even one actress with a prosthetic leg and she was still doing all the actions.
the lighting and video and sounds were really really good too.
wish WE could do that.
but then again, they ARE trained professionals.

god, holidays are ending in like, one day and i have my chinese SIA and history homework undone. what's worse is that i just realised that chemistry block tests are in week 2 -_- i totally didn't study man.
sighs, i'm turning into a block head.

all right shall do a quiz that andro tagged me to do while waiting for movie to load :D
wait, i shall go make some warm tea.

aha, back. ohmygodd i love tea from cameron highlands.

3 names you go by :
[a] mandy
[b] manda
[c] [insert whatever you call me here]

3 screen names you have had :
[a] fallen
[b] Miss Cyanide
[c] Mandy

3 physical things you like about yourself :
[a] the LENGTH of my legs
[b] erm, brain?
[c] eyes

3 parts of your heritage :
[a] shanghainese
[b] cantonese
[c] mandynese

3 things that scare you :
[a] my weight
[b] freaky games and movies -_-
[c] the fact that Madonna is 50 and still can dance like she's 15

3 of your everyday essentials :
[a] comb
[b] at least using my pen for a bit
[c] sleeping

3 things you are wearing right now :
[a] black shirt
[b] blue fbts
[c] stupid ugly purple glasses

3 of your favourite bands or musical artists :
[a] Kimya dawson (:
[b] Jason Mraz
[c] Mark Ronson and a million more

3 of your favourite songs :
[a] Loose Lips
[b] Mark Ronson's songs (:
[c] I'm Yours

3 things you want in a relationship :
[a] the other half must be able to talk with me
{b] going out for food/cooking food together
[c] honestly, LOTS of trust

2 truths and 1 lie (in no particular order) :
[a] I am secretly a secret agent. secretly
[b] I love the arts, but not really doing it
[c] I prefer tea as my source of caffeine to coffee

3 physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you :
[a] [whatever is needed to give great hugs]
[b] good shoulders to lean on
[c] a face that i wouldn't get disgusted when i look at it

3 of your favourite hobbies :
[a] going out to eat with people i can talk to
[b] talking on the phone
[c] daydreaming

3 things you want to do badly right now :
[a] WATCH MY MOVIE
[b] get a nice haircut/hair advice from a GOOD hair stylist
[c] stop that person who calls himself a teacher to stop procrastinating

3 careers you're considering/you've considered :
[a] archaeologist
[b] psychologist
[c] i wanted to be a director in the past

3 places you want to go on vacation :
[a] AMERICA.
[b] a place with white sands and blue waters
[c] England (:

3 names you like :
[a] Evangeline
[b] Alex
[c] Heidi

3 things you want to do before you die :
[a] have a race with friends in shopping carts
[b] sky diving
[c] shoot myself in the head, but not before getting everyone i know around me first and telling them sorry for whatever shit.

3 ways you are stereotyping a boy :
[a] short hair
[b] likes to do stupid stuff -_-
[c] something that i stereotyped ever since going to zoey's house recently

3 ways you are stereotyping a girl :
[a] self-conscious
[b] multi-tasks well [but not zoey though]
[c] looks weird trying to dress like a guy

3 celeb crushes :
[a] erm, i used to like orlando bloom
[b] Mark Ronson isn't bad
[c] ASHTON KUTCHER

~~3 people that I would like to see take this quiz :~~ i shall ignore.

haha shall get going now.

*okay now it's 10.20 pm and i just watched some movie that said
the hotness of a girl is directly proportional to the unhotness of her best friend
THAT IS SO...actually i don't know if that's right. i mean, if we're equally hot, does that mean we're not hot?
god i'm confused. never mind.

and I'm tugging on the sleeve of how it used to be
xoxo
mandy

broken hearts hurt but they make us strong

2008-06-19T22:23:00.002+08:00

hello people (:
honestly the internet is making me procrastinate. damn. i can't even bring myself to finish my work -_-

in the middle of doing some LA homework, i got crazy over the word "love" and decided to write it out over and over again on a white sheet of paper, then i realised that i lost lots of my pens including one light blue pen, one orange pen, and some zig markers. don't know where to flew to.
oh and i got over excited by the fact that jason mraz is coming to singapore SOON, and so is death cab for cutie. damn, i wanna go watch.
and i got nuts over mark ronson all over again sighs.
and i haven't finished my homework.
and i haven't revised [i don't really care].
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE TOMORROW WILL BE THE FIRST TIME I'M WATCHING A SINGAPORE ARTS FESTIVAL SHOW.
and TCN will be eating steamboat tomorrow. woohoo (:

and i got hooked onto this song called loose lips by kimya dawson. it's really cute xD and it goes so fast like i don't know what, so i can't even say this really fast, and don't really understand how the singer can sing this really fast.
look at the lyrics.

loose lips might sink ships but loose gooses take trips
to san francisco, double dutch disco,
tech tv hottie, do it for scotty
do it for the living and do it for the dead
do it for the monsters under your bed
do it for the teenagers and do it for your mom
broken hearts hurt but they make us strong and

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we'll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we'll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we're just dancing, we're just hugging,
singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
on the sleeve of how it used to be
how's it gonna be?
i'll drop kick russell stover, move into the starting over house
and know matt rouse and jest are watching me achieve my dreams

and we'll pray, all damn day, every day,
that all this shit our president has got us in will go away
while we strive to figure out a way we can survive
these trying times without losing our minds

so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, i'll be your friend

shysters live from scheme to scheme and my 4th quarter pipe dreams
are seeming more and more worth fighting for
so i'll curate some situations, make my job a big vacation
and i'll say FUCK BUSH AND FUCK THIS WAR
my war paint is sharpie ink and i'll show you how much my shit stinks
and ask you what you think because your thoughts and words are powerful
they think we're disposable, well both my thumbs opposable
are spelled out on a double word and triple letter score and

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we'll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we'll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we'll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we'll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we're just dancing, we're just hugging,
singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
on the sleeve of how it used to be

it makes me feel like loving everyone :D
haha.
i'm off watching juno (:

and if you wanna cut yourself remember that i love you
xoxo
mandy

sucking on my lollipop

2008-06-17T21:40:00.006+08:00

hello people :
hah omg, the lollipop video is so cute xD i wish my world was like that. with candy colours and weird blackish things.
makes me happy.

Lollypop - Mika

actually i don't have anything to post. except the video.
oh and the fact that these days i keep dreaming about what my perfect world would be, with it's imperfections, but in it, at least some of my problems are resolved, and i ended it getting hugs form everyone cause everything was just fine and everyone wasn't worried about friendships with anybody and i was happy for once, free from whatever friendship problems. i was so happy i thought it was real and i started crying cause i was just so happy. but it doesn't really matter to you guys anyway, so never mind.
oh and a random quiz from qiuluan that no one will bother reading (:

[ 10 ] Firsts.
First Best Friend - erm, kymberly? kymberly ong i think
First Screen Name - huh what?
First Pet - HAMSTER NAMED DODO
First Piercing - 8, then it closed -_-
First Crush - can't remember. was it 9 years old or 6 years old?
First CD - probably some chinese thingum
First Car - dad's car was a renault. WAS.
First Love - lalala don't uite understand. oh wait, my first love was my soft toy
First Place Called Home - MALAYSIA

[ 9 ] Lasts.
Last Beverage - erm... soup?
Last Car Ride - yesterday. on zoey's car.
Last Movie Seen - Charlie and the chocolate factory (: CANDY.
Last Phone Call - don't know. was it zoey or someone else.
Last Song You Listened To - Just by MARK RONSON
Bath - this morning
Last Time You Cried - this morning -_-
Last Thing You Ate - SEA COCONUT. yes it exists.

[ 8 ] Have You Evers.
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends - no, eww.
Have You Ever Been Arrested - erm, what arrested?
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped - NO AGAIN.
Have You Ever Been On A Limo - maybe
Have You Ever Cheated - who hasn't
Have You Ever Been In Love - what kind?
Have You Ever Been In A Car Accident - a few times
Have You Ever Broken A Bone - YUPS. just months back xD

[ 7 ] Things You Are Wearing.
1) I ♥ ID shirt. and no it doesn't stand for i ♥ indian dance -_-
2) blue shorts
3) "inner beauty" 1
4) "inner beauty" 2
5) purple glasses
6) left ear stick
7) right ear stick

[ 6 ] Things You've Done Today.
1) erm brush teeth
2) bathe
3) do some homework
4) looked at videos
5) cry
6) messed with hair

[ 5 ] Favourite Things. (not in order)
1. shopping/stuff
2. MONEY
3. water
4. the house phone
5. the computer

[ 4 ] People You Tell Almost Anything To.
1. zoey
2. grace
3. lin sha [not as much as zoey]
4. me (:

[3 ] Choices.
1. Black Or White: black, cause it's the new white
2. Hot Or Cold: cold.
3. Chocolate Or Vanilla: OR!

[ 2 ] Things You Want To Do Before You Die.
1. get my hugs
2. get my friends all around me

[ 1 ] Thing You Regret.
not treasuring what i HAD until it was gone

toodles (:

xoxo
mandy

they're all the same

2008-06-15T22:03:00.002+08:00

heyy guys (:

i just wanna blog about today and yesterday :D just got back from dinner at a jap restaurant. yummy yum

SATURDAY
haha okay, so i went to cathay to watch a movie with andro, desiree, eunice, isabel, qiao yi and tze (: okay, more people were supposed to come, but they were grounded/away in india/ at granny's house/ school stuff etc.
anyway, it's some sort of meeting to celebrate desiree's belated birthday :D
sighs, watched kungfu panda for the second time, but never mind. it's been so long since we met so yea...
ohhh ohh, we went to eat ben and jerry's. omg it's so nice there, we were bitching about random teachers xD well, even though most of us didn't know those people, the way they say it really xP
especially that one teacher who calls her students babes xDD
haha after the movie, we went to ONE neoprint machine [only, sighs] then had to go home :\ got a scolding from parents for arriving 2 hours late, but never mind.
anyway people, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE ON 21ST DECEMBER 2012.
according to some doomsday thingo.
damn, i'd be 18+. if we had to die that day, i want to die hugging someone outside the cinema.

i'm intrigued by people.

TODAY
fathers' day!
i don't really care. MUCH.
anyway, after church, grace came over to bake a brownie cheese cake :D i bet you guys want to know how it tastes right?
haha all right, i haven't tried. it's still in my fridge :D
sighs, i messed up a lot :\ shall improve next time.
anyway, after baking, we freaked each other out with super creepy stories about doomsday and other stuff etc.
then we were talking about mirrors then i was like "you know there's a full length mirror behind you" then she screamed and i screamed cause we freaked.
haha i am THAT timid xD
but it was scary.
very.
anyway, just got back from the restaurant [as mentioned]
THE FOOD IS SO YUMMY OMG, I CAN EAT THE FISH THERE EVERYDAY ((:

sighs, shall stop here.
going off to watch pushing daisies :D
sorry love, but you might break a picture

xoxo
mandy

eyes that look down on you

2008-06-11T18:32:00.002+08:00

i shall post Blood, sex and booze lyrics here :D they make me feel like bobbing up and down.
not the lyrics, the song.

fyi, they're by green day. which makes them even yummier :D

Waiting in a room
All dressed up and bound and gagged
To a chair
It's so unfair
I won't dare move, for the pain
She puts me through is what I need
So make it bleed

I'm in distress, oh mistress
I confess so do it one more time
These handcuffs are too tight
You know I will obey, so please
Don't make me beg
For blood, sex and booze you give me

Some say I'm disturbed
But it's what I deserve, another lesson
To be learned...from a girl called kill
My head is in the gutter
Thank you sir, strike up another mandolin
Of discipline
Throw me to the dogs
Let them eat my flesh down
To the wood
It feels so good

[repeats of verses in front]

xoxo
mandy

sweet. sugar. candyman!

2008-06-11T15:55:00.006+08:00

THE FUN IN FUNERAL!
haha just some random phrase i got nuts over. it makes sense you know :D

ohh and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DESIREE! AHH YET ANOTHER OLDER THAN ME PERSON XP

to another person, maybe i had made you angry. just so you know, i'm not in a mood to please anybody at the moment. not that i'm some cranky old shit, but because i just am not.
or if you didn't know, 67% of the time i don't seek to please people (:
you ought to know, if we just see each other and don't talk, if we don't respect each other at the very least, i wouldn't care for talking unless it's something like hello-ing blah blah.
yups, like you said, i know you have a nonchalent expression most of the time. so you'll get it back.
fair enough?
and what is with that message though? was it seriously a mistake or what? oh never mind, i don't want to know.
hope you had a good lunch though.

ha, so yesterday, i ate the most unhealthy lunch since like forever.
kimchi cup noodles and hot dogs cooked by my mom, gushed down with 7 up.
haha but lin sha and yi jing ate the same thing too :D
watched "what happened in vegas" on the net and looked at super pro cosplayers 0_0
and talked about weird hair -_- haha but with yi jing around, we laughed a lot. so i think i burnt some calories at least xD

but i was so damn sleepy from 730pm onwards, so i just fell asleep on the sofa til 11. don't know why either, so i didn't do any work and just went to bed after an hour of tv.
stupid slackerism.

stupid rain/drizzle.
because of you, my mom said no to me going swimming. and even if i did, i'd be freezing AND won't get a tan.
stupid.

shu hui// ewww tom caressing brad's face >P god, that's just warped. it would have been better if it were ashton kutcher and orlando bloom :D anyway, they look the same height because of TECHNOLOGY. else it would have been way impossible. tom is too short. he's like, my height 0o
caitlin// in a million gazillion ways. you haven't seen my fat legs )x
isabel// i am fat :\ and compared to my friends...I AM SHORT. okay compared to a few friends, i'm short
GRACE// i know it's touching, but i didn't know it was so cry-able 0_0
caitlin// obsession over ALL kinds of strawberries. unless it's some weird flavoured strawberries. sighs, i haven't eaten choclate coated strawberries in a long time. IT'S SO HEAVENLY. i hope they have it in heaven, else they'd miss out.
Desiree// EXACTLY. oh and this year is the '06 p4s' graduating year. can you believe, those little kids are graduating already. that means we're OLDDD. ohh and happy belated birthday!!
qiuluan// HAHA, see, lame joke xD
andro// but strawberries are never really sweet. they're sour-sweet. and bananas are yummy but they don't beat grapes on my list.
shu hui// you're watching movies that you're not supposed to until 5 years later (x but heck, i watched brokeback mountain. uber boring i tell you -_- and movies have a knack of making everything looked warped. gahh you're finished with the book yet?! can't wait to borrow from you xD
andro// haha okay darling andro xD i did it already :D
caitlin// sighs, i think it's cause the people i see are pretty xD haha like YOUUUU. not that you're bringing me down, IM PROUD TO HAVE A PRETTY FRIEND. and i know you're gonna get orlando bloom one day :D
andro// YAY ME TOOO. IT'S SO CUTE AND POP UP BOOK-ISH. the leads are so cute xD it's so sad they can't touch each other or even give each other a hug. and the place is so bright and cheerful. i wish singapore looked like that :D
GRACE//ehh how come? and why floating plank in the sea 0o

hmm gotta do stupid tuition homework now. dammit.
tomorrow's gonna be another tiring day.

one plus one would be nothing without two.
xoxo
mandy

Medical Certificates from April

2008-06-09T22:30:00.003+08:00

i just found a MC that says i'm unfit for school for four days and it expired in april -_- omg, i need to clear up the mess called my room.

oh and PUSHING DAISIES IS SUCH A NICE SHOW! i wish i knew about it earlier sighs.
but if i did, it'd clash with heroes.
gah never mind. whoever out there who can, JUST GO AND WATCH!

as you all know, i'm the resident nice kid, so i'm going to do a quiz from andro, even as i'm doing work, reading about shows and heatherette [which is a designer label designed by two gays, one of whom is so damn funny], chatting and listening to music :D
haha okay, i accept that name andro xD you're the second person to be my darling x)

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
who said i wanted to be married? why can't i just have a semi-permanent boyfriend who'd adopt kids with me -_- for some reason, i don't find any thrill in wearing a white wedding gown.

2. Who is more important to you? [friends or boyfriends]
friends of course. boyfriends are still friends right? but that's out of the question.
Number of girl-friends: 1234786
Number of guy-friends: 0

3. Who is the person you trust most?
myself, but i trust people like linsha to not break my mind in two. if you're one of them, you better be honoured

4. What music are you hooked on now?
haha erm, i'm yours by jason mraz, the across the universe song and the pushing daises theme song xD and other songs too like misery by green day

5. Are you over with your ex-boyfriend?
this is a NA question.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after rain?
not all the time. god, this sounds like a dumb question -_-

7. What is your goal for this year?
erm. erm. get below 1.5 for MSG, DECIDE WHETHER TO GO FOR HUMANITIES PROGRAMME OR TRIP SCIENCE, and to find a very good friend who can sit in a dark corner with me and the two of us can just shut up and listen to nice flow-y, sad/melancholy/bittersweet songs and fall asleep into fluffy dreams.
okay, it's impossible.

8. Do you believe in eternal love?
no. after a while, we all get sick of each other.

9. Have you ever broken someone's heart until he/she commits suicide?
not quite sure -_- i mean, if he/she did, he/she'd be dead, so how would i even know?

10. What feeling do you like most?
the feeling of being hugged. and the hugged must be the nice kind of the tight hug which makes you feel warm and fuzzy

11. What is your requirement for your other half?
hmmm. not in rank
1. must be able to talk with me for a long time
2. good-looking :D
3. can withstand silence between the both of us without feeling awkward
4. talks to my friends and get along okay
5. plays the guitar and sings :D
6. wouldn't mind if he was pan-asian :D but they usually fall for better looking girls so...
7. good hugger the very least
8. turns my frown upside down :]
9. not to be afraid of whoever is related to me
10. last but not least, would be able to sit in a dark corner with me and listen to his iPod and i'll just fall asleep calmly :]

12. List out 5 6 best friends of yours.
in no order, zoey, grace, linsha, andro, cheryl, ji yeon [i wish we were all right again]. actually i would list out more, but this thingy said 6 :D

13. Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
maybe.

14. What is the best word to describe you?
ME.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
most important thing is life itself cause you can't do anything without it :D

16. What do you love and hate about yourself?
i'm in a love hate relationship with my hands. they look ugly and they don't often produce good work, but when they do, it's really good.

17. What have you done to please yourself?
fall in love with this sexy french song. ~~it makes me wanna smoke opium.~~ haha kidding. i think :D and listening to across the universe over and over again.

18. If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
back to primary one, and i wouldn't change one bit, not up til june 2007.

Have you ever felt the true meaning of love?
don't want to waste time on it for now.

What if the Mayan calendar was wrong? Humans do not die by the date that the calendar had ended; instead they live on like 'em Jumis?
huh what say you? erm. from what i understand, it's something to do with Armageddon right? GREAT IT BURNED SO MUCH OF MY BRAIN JUICE THAT I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER IT. ~~or rather, i can't~~

Instructions:
- Change a question
- Tag 8 people from your list
- Notify them in their tagboard that they had been tagged

lalala
i didn't see anything :D

amanda you stupid idiot.
you're left with so much homework you choke and suffocate in it.
you should never be allowed near any electronic goods.
ahh what the heck.

xoxo
mandy

lick that strawberry pt 2

2008-06-06T19:05:00.004+08:00

ahha, now to do the ittle bittle quiz!

TAGGED BY MISS ANG QIU LUAN!

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
able to bitch with, understand our differences, must be funny and sometimes serious, can talk with me when i'm sad and actually understands/provides help, and most importantly, MUST LIKE TO EAT.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
to have everything i ever wanted. well, not everything, SO I HAVE A GOAL IN LIFE.
actually i wouldn't mind help deciding whether i should go for humanities programme [the one with advanced everything] or triple science

3. Who's life would you want to takeaway most?
nobody actually. making them die is too much of an easy way out.

4. What would you do with a billion bucks?
build my own house AND BUY LOTS AND LOTS OF THINGS FROM FOOD TO FLOWERS.

5. Are you happy with life?
some sort :D i have regrets, BUT I DEAL WITH IT.

6. Are you glad to be alive or would u rather to be dead?
alive duh -_- but i think it'd be so cool if we have an afterlife :D what if i become a boy 0o would i be sissified?

7. Can you whistle?
not much.

8. Do you like going to school?
maybe. oh wait, not so, unless there's stuff like cca, or it's a slack day. i rather go swimming.

9. What kind of person do u like?
read question one. as long as you have one of those traits, you're nice enough :D
of course there are other stuff like being a good arguer but we don't get mad at each other etc

10. If the person you like secretly is already attached, what would you do?
ehh erm, help the person with his~~/her~~ [definitely HIS] soulmate. i'll be like the best woman/ maid of honour or something 0o

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years' time?
fatter, ~~taller,~~ fat hope, overseas, looking for jobs.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
besties/close friends. and my grandmother and my cousins. and all the people who give me money. yes, i am so money-minded -_-

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
haha SHE'S SO DAMN CUTE XD and cracks lots lots of lame jokes, so can i say she is...happy :D
and she loves her cca so much and i believe she loves her friends too :D

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
single and rich, cause you can still get married later. whereas if you're married and poor, YOU CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO DIVORCE THE PERSON.

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
roll of the bed. literally.

16. Would you kiss and tell?
haha maybe :D

17. Do you like the way you are?
not quite. too fat, too short [by my OWN expectations], too not smart, too talentless -_-

18. What type of people do you hate?
don't know. i haven't hated more than 3 people in my life. don't make me hate you :D

People to do this quiz
1. caitlin!
2. LS!
3. zoey!
4. Andro!
5. Shu Hui!
6. Susi!
7. Isabel!
8. actually, i would put grace here, but she's doing the same quiz already, so i open this to anybody

haha anyway, I WANT A LOT OF STUFF!!
when i went to cameron highands, I BLOODY FORGOT TO BUY THE STRAWBERRY UMBRELLA WITH LACE LINING XD omg if anyone has that, I WILL BUY IT FROM YOU!!
it's so uber cute xDD i want to buy it!! i can imagine me carrying it, wearing that dress i got, with a strawberry chain, with my converse boots thing with my hair tied up :D i will look so deliciously warped xD
here's a mini list of what i want :D

1. THAT STRAWBERRY UMBRELLA
2. a strawberry necklace!
3. Death Cab for Cutie's Narrow Stairs
4. Jason Mraz's We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things
5. Scarlett Johannson's debut album (can't remember)
6. MCR Bullets
7. Mark Ronson's Version
8. White Stripes' Elephant
9. to watch Across The Universe :D
10. MONEY

haha
i think i have a SLIGHT strawberry fetish xD

xoxo
mandy

lick that strawberry pt 1

2008-06-06T18:20:00.004+08:00

HEYY PEOPLE. GUESS WHAT! AMANDAPANDAWANDA IS BACK FROM HER 9 DAY TRIP ALL OVER MALAYSIA!!
haha all right, her 9 day trip to tangkakkualalumpurgentinghighlandsgopenipohcameronhiglands. lalalala.
and yes you read that right

I'M BACK!
if you've got anything to say [want to come over, go out for movie, study group etc] i am here to listen!! :D

i'm too lazy to post pictures here. takes forever to load you know. so i'm gonna do a quiz and tag replies :D

all rght let's do tag replies first :D just realises i need to go way back xD

andro// OF COURSE YOU DO. MUAY THAI ROCKS! but i'll be happy with ju-jitsu xD
yan ying// the one about the rose? me too :D
LS// but mine is hard like crispy chicken 0o haha erm, yours is rotting xD badly.
shu hui// haha it isn't deep xD and i wanna watch superbad and knocked up >( HOW COME YOU ALWAYS WATCH NC 16 STUFF WHEN YOU'RE YOUNGER THAN ME OO: lucky piggy! LOL of copurse i'm skinnier than MR NG. he is like a balloon and i am the string xD
andro// 0o andro, that is way sadistic. but still, won't you feel better if you were sacrificed to make someone happy. okay, that sounds warped and not how i imagined it would sound.
Desiree// I WANT AN OUTING TOO! and let's go visit ijbt! it's been so long since i visited it :X
zoey// yes i do -_- it comprises of the "real" Mr and Miss Demolition. you're in it too, only your name is Miss Skylines. they are not their real names cause in that world, revealing real names allow others to control you somehow xD haha the full thing isn't developed.
andro// YEA SLEEPOVER! though it's highly impossible to have one now -_- let's have it in nov/dec!! LOL YOU AGREE THAT THE VOICE IS THE SEX XD so far, no one else agrees. boohoo xD and i doubt it belongs to some old guy. probably the gay guy himself cause old japanese guys have a very husky voice [i think]
CCH// erm, i don't know how to explain the rotting. xD AND YOU DRANK BANDUNG RIGHT? yups it's nice but too much will make you a fatty. not that it's possible for you -_-
qiuluan// AHH REALLY?! I WANNA WATCH INDIANA JONES MORE THAN EVER. *sulk*
dinnie// yups relinked :D
GRACE// BUT IT REALLY IS VERY VERY VERY SHOCKING. did i emphasise on the VERY
isabel// YAY YOU DID THE QUIZ XD haha oh really? shu hui's my junior-mortal :D PS she likes anime too!
CCH// haha erm...good for you?
caitlin// I WANNA GO SHOPPING WITH YOU TOO! QUICK, TAKE THE NEXT FLIGHT TO SINGAPORE!! gahh you know how much the ij clique misses you? :\ hope we/you can visit you/us soon!!
LS// haha you can dumb ass -_- and if you can't you can go to the page source to copy :D
GRACE// HAHA I THINK SO TOO XD sorry cheryl, but it seems like it xD
CCH// but how would he know your profile unless you saw his first 0o do you still have that weird penguin picture as your friendster picture? HAHA GRACE WOULDN'T LIKE CEDRIC. don't know about jeremy. lalala. if she does, it'll be a triangle!!
GRACE// seen what? haha but will they like her back? x)
shu hui// haha don't mention it >( but i was uber late though! I'M SO SO SORRY! and when my parents saw it they were laughing away xD then they said that the guy was gay. haha I DON'T THINK SO XD YOU BOUGHT THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES!!?!? AHHH GIMME GIMME XD LOL lestat is a gay. OF COURSE HE'S VAIN XD
GRACE// aiya, i'm back :D talk to you later?
qiuluan// YUPS NO PROBLEM! your quizes are so cute xD

shall do the quiz in the next part of the post :D
and talk a bit more xD

xoxo
mandy

Shocking Revelations

2008-05-26T23:23:00.001+08:00

so who is the messed up, and who is the slave?

all i can say is.
I am shocked. in fact, very shocked.
i never thought that you'd actually do that, darling.
i mean, i knew you thought about it, but, hearing it from you just makes me sick.
sighs. i can't do anything about it.
after all you decide what you want.
all i can hope is that you two would break soon.

another one.
i never thought you were like that.
i didn't take it too seriously i guess.
now i'm worried about what you might do. ~~to me. if it involves me anyway.~~

on a lighter note, let's do A QUIZ :D

Q1: Do you like your present school?
NO. okay, fine. no.
Q2: What do you want the most now?
a nice hug. but in the long term, MONEY.
Q3: Who is the closest person to you in your school?
ahaha, what do you mean by closest?
Q4: Do you hate your friends sometimes?
yups definitely, but like the question says, SOMETIMES, else we won't be friends right?
Q5: Are you afraid of death?
no. i'm curious about it.
Q6: Do you think having a relationship is a burden?
probably. and it's also a burden on the people around you, especially if it's a problematic one.
Q7: Do you believe in love at first sight?
a definite NO. god, that'd be lust.
Q8: Do you believe in eternity love?
maybe. all i know is, it wears off and just becomes a hanging burden.
Q9: Have you ever broken someone's heart that he/she wants to commit suicide?
i think so. but what do you mean by breaking the person's heart? does telling the person you want to commit suicide, and thus making him/her want to commit suicide count?
Q10: What do you enjoy doing the most?
at the moment, SHOPPING and CHATTING.
Q11: Have you ever done anything for your admirer?
ahaha, maybe :D
Q12: What feeling do you hate most?
to feel lonely when you're standing with a group of people
Q13: Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
i hope i can
Q14. Who would you probably spend the rest of your life with?
me, myself and i. or my 27382 cats and dogs-_-
Q15: What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
success in everything [which covers friendships]
Q16: Do you find life meaningless?
maybe. i drag my feet in it.
Q17: Who do you love most?
I love...Mister Demolition :] he co-exists in a different world. and he doesn't like the look of my darling's love interest. and so do i.
Q18: Who do you talk most to in school?
in school? i don't know, these days i don't talk so much.
Q19: What are you listening to now?
voices by Madonna. but i'm listening to the voices in my head too.

Instructions: remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, then tag 8 6 people in your list, list them out in the end of this post. Notify them in their chatbox that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have a blessing from all(:

1--Zoey
2--Linsha
3--Andro
4--Susi
5--Isabel
6--Shu Hui

being a lazy pig, i probably won't tag you guys :D teehee.
but who knows. i'm unpredictable

xoxo
mandy

early sunsets

2008-05-24T23:40:00.002+08:00

god, i'm so freaking pissed.
shall not reveal. but it involves up to five people. not that it necessary mean that all five of them are in this. just three separate issues.
haha guess you people didn't know that lots of dilemma go on in her head, not to mention her ideas and unspoken thoughts, and most importantly, her imaginary world that co-exists with you.

i need a break badly.

thank god for the gatsby advert. haha IT'S SO DAMN FUNNY AND CUTE. though the guy is VERY GAY, and so is the song, but it made me laugh anyway x3
and there was one part where some guy was saying "Turn on your charm" in japanese.
OMG THAT WAS DAMN SEXY x3
haha so wrong, but never mind.

and can we have a movie marathon soon?!?! quote andro: LET'S HAVE AN INDIANA JONES MOVIE MARATHON
and i doubt i can have a sleepover. apparently my parents think my results are screwed and it's cause of my stinking attitude, even though i have a msg of below 2.
whatever. hopefully i can talk them round, AND ATTEND A LOVELY SLEEPOVER.
zoey, you better get ready.

xoxo
mandy

withered roses smell sweeter.

2008-05-20T22:06:00.002+08:00

it turns into something beautiful

it's funny.
i've come to the realisation that my withered and dried rose smelled sweeter than when i got it fresh.
somehow, it looks even more beautiful than before. the rasping between each of the dried and dead leaves, and the dark, dark, already almost black red petals. they are so dry, they look dead, but they smell sweet.
when i first got the fresh, bright red one, i didn't care much about the rose. i gave it a whiff, but there wasn't any pleasant smell. just one that smelled faintly of grass and something else. something else that wasn't strong enough, i guess, to capture my attention. i just brought it home and left it in a vase, and my mom asked me something which i didn't know what it was, and i just said whatever.
three or four weeks later, i saw a dried rose hanging on to a red thread, dangling just beside the wall at the balcony. i wondered why i never noticed it's existence before. but i before i gave it another thought, i just went away.
it wasn't until yesterday when i found in on my shelf, standing precariously in front of a row of books. i hadn't noticed it. maybe my mom had brought it in, but i never saw it prior to yesterday.
i took it down, and expected a foul stench.
i guess i was wrong.

is it only my rose that is like this?

'cause it told me something.
it's somewhat like a friendship. you don't notice how significant it really is. yes, you treasure it, but you just treat it like, oh i have this friend. yay. lalala. sometimes, you even treat it like it isn't even important, like it's horrible that you have to go through so much trouble just to be with him or her. you know that the friendship is good for you, it's nice to be in, but you don't understand what's so nice about it, you just follow it.
then you just chuck it in a corner. you find it once a while, when it's half dead, but you don't pay much attention cause you just don't feel like it.
when it is finally dead, you think of your past memories, and just bring it to your mind, you just hold on to it for a little while, and you just suddenly remember the memories you never treasured that were so long ago. you hold on to it a little while, you finally see how beautiful it is, but it is after all, dead. but at least you have something to hold on to.
something to remind you of dead beauty.

For you I'd bleed myself dry

xoxo
mandy

We are the human nation

2008-05-18T00:02:00.004+08:00

so look how they shine for us

omg, i'm so freaking tired.
physically and mentally. [yet again]
anyway, let's start with last night :D

ohh yea, WATCHED HOW THE OTHER HALF LOVES BY HCJC ELDDFS WITH YAN YING, YI JING AND YUAN MING. it was really really good :D though i think they didn't make much difference to the original script, it was still very good :] good job lim yu as the stage manager!! gahh i haven't seen you act in a while.
anyway, i think the show should have been rater nc-16 or something. i mean, first of all, yi jing and yan ying didn't get most of the sick references. i didn't get some of it cause it was too noisy. before they finished, people were laughing-_-
but after a while when you see the guys laugh, you just get it.
then there were so many sick stuff, omg. there was one which i didn't catch cause i was looking for my chocolate in the dark. yuan ming said it was something to do with "spoon in the cup". you get the idea.
then there was this thing about screwdriver. omg, that is way weird. the guy was like "you know, to it screw it up." then there was the "directions to the toilet" which can be translated to something damn sick. and there was one when the guy hits his leg on the table and was calling a woman, and was groaning, and the woman thought it was a guy _ing, and was like "stop it you sick pervert, but if you like some...company, i can join you..."
GAHHHHH
but it was good :D one of the guys had an okay physique, and the girls were generally pretty. teehee went home and reached at around 11. late and still had to wake up at 6 the next day :D

anyway, today was open house. god, IT WAS SO DAMN TIRING. walk here walk there with a whole bunch of inquisitive parents. thank god rachael was there to help. gahh. but it was okay. the future juniors were interesting :D there was one who wanted to join EVERY sports cca in ny. guess she still doesn't know what it'd be like in ny. wait, of course she doesn't.
anyway, there were a bunch of parents who thought i was in dance/sports XD haha, overstatement. i'm such a fat ass.
anyway, there was a parent who said i looked like sally from 203 xD the thing was, i tied up my hair, why would i look like her?
anyway, then got back home, feeling like i've just ran a marathon. i fell asleep when i landed on the sofa all the way until 4.30 pm, like half an hour before tuition, AND I DIDN'T DO ANY WORK AND I WAS TOO EXHAUSTED TO THINK AND I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TUITION, so i was so exhausted i just cried. yea, just CRIED. god, i think i was just too tired.

argh, so many things i want to do and learn. let's see.
guitar, drums, lindy hop, swimming, yoga, pilates, golf, sleepover, movies, rock climbing, muay thai, surfing, ice skating, food outing, running, healthy diet, BURNING FATS OMG and a lot more.
i realised they've all got to do with training my physique somehow -_-
gahh too fat!!!! NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND BURN FATS.
god, i don't want to turn into an auntie you know.
GO AWAY FATS.

'cause our skin and bones can turn into something beautiful

xoxo
mandy

Not much a poet, but a criminal

2008-05-11T22:05:00.002+08:00

I'M BACK
haha not much a difference when i was gone anyway.

you know, there were many things i realised after i'm back from malaysia

1. i like guys in suits
2. i like guys who LOOK GOOD in suits
3. i like that guy who was sitting three tables from me by the restaurant window in a suit who looks 16 at most.
4. i don't like guys with weird mustaches [unless you can carry it off]
5. i'm infatuated with the lyrics in mcr songs 0o which isn't new
6. i like to annoy my parents
7. i hate it when they suddenly yell at me for something which i've been doing for ages
8. i like to cry on a bed with my face resting on my arm on the bed, listening to mcr songs
9. i get jealous when i see a female whom i know being prettier than me, sometimes
10. i'm totally uninterested in guys, unless you mean just looking at them.

about point 9, it's really true, but it's okay if i already know you're prettier than me :D
and it doesn't often happen either. i don't know why i was so jealous that night, but yea, i was. and no, it wasn't because of whatever you had on or your assets or whatever. i'm fine with my body [except my leg fats and thigh fats. urgh]
I JUST WAS JEALOUS ALL RIGHT?
all right, just bing weird -_____________________________-

i don't know why, but i keep thinking about the phrase cemetery gates. creepy.

you know, the more the two of you are angry at me, the more i don't really give a damn. what the hell is wrong with blasting music in my earphones when i'm sleeping? what the hell is wrong with blasting music if i want to in the first place? it's not like it's affecting you since we don't talk and since the music in the car is so loud.
i don't really care about this anyway. i'm going to continue doing what i do. you annoy the heck out of me just by me seeing your face.
i don't even see the similarities between my face and the two of your's. every time those relatives come by and say i look like you or you, i really feel like telling them i don't look like either of you. can't they see i'm not your kid? i rather know i'm some kid that was dumped on the street and you two picked me up. thank god there are people [and relatives] who say i don't look like you two.
never mind. whatever i say, they don't come through. this hasn't been the first time you two are so sickening. you've been sickening everyday.if i were to hang out the dirty laundry this family had, you would have gone to jail.
i hate you. fucktards.

lock and load.
and fire at will.

xoxo
mandy

can't close lids on burning eyes

2008-05-09T14:00:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL ♥
hope you LOVE the present me and qiu luan gave you :D

okay, fine your birthday is tomorrow, but i won't be able to go online tomorrow.
speaking of which,
I'M GOING TO MALAYSIA TODAY. LATER. IN THE MIDDLE OF CCA.

lalala
nothing much to post
just wanted to tell you
I WON'T BE IN SINGAPORE FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS XD

xoxo
mandy

it's our god forsaken right to be loved

2008-05-05T21:46:00.003+08:00

hmm all right. at the start of this post, i'm uber pissed. like really
LIKE STFU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. INSULTING ME IS BAD ENOUGH, BUT INSULTING SOMETHING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME IS STUPID [IN THIS CASE NYDEBATE]. HONESTLY, WHAT IS YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM? WTF IS UP WITH "THEY LOOK LIKE LOSERS ALREADY, SO OF COURSE THEY'D LOSE" YOU'RE THE ONE WITH A FUCKING PROBLEM YOU IDIOT. YOU'RE INSULTING THE SCHOOL YOU SENT ME TO.
i don't even give a fuck if you see this, cause i'm super pissed.
AT THE TWO OF YOU. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO GET ANGRY. DON'T THINK YOU CAN GET ANGRY AT STUPID STUFF THEN SCOLD ME WITHOUT ME BEING PISSED.
fucktards. you just want to make me blow right?

grr. *calms down*
much better. FUCKTARDS. see i tell you, my blog is gonna be banned. good thing anyway. then those people who are so anxious to go on my blog in school won't have a freaking chance.
all right i'm just downright mean now, but yea.

okay, much better. you know, i could just sit at home and ignore the two of them the whole day. yeaps that'd be good.

i'm looking forward to wearing my pretty clothes on saturday x3

that is all. nothing much eventful today. honestly.
well to me anyway. other than the above statement, anyone who tried to incur my wrath today with their words today obviously did not succeed 'cause i don't feel particularly upset about anything OTHER THAN THE ONE ABOVE.

THIS is it.

xoxo
mandy

there's no need to complicate

2008-05-04T17:01:00.002+08:00

cause our time is short

people, if you feel really pissed or upset etc, listen to i'm yours by jason mraz :D
it really calms people down. makes me feel like i'm on a vacation in maldives. lalala. i wanna go back to a beach with white sands and blue water.
haha do i sound like a weird Hawaiian hobo? not that hawaiians are hobos. they're nice people :D
but i really need a vacation badly. i wouldn't mind a one-way ticket even :D

ohh man, just went shopping just now, and bought like three pieces of stuff in 2 hours -_- my dad was uber pissed cause me and my mom took too long [according to him] and he wanted to go back cause "my sis was getting too cold". i'd bet it's some kind of excuse to stop us from shopping. rahhh.

but then again, anyone's up for a shopping spree with me at either IMM or Far east? or somewhere where there's cheap clothes? we can shop til we drop, and by drop, i mean literally drop :D i've shopped for 6 hours straight with shirt after shirt, shoe after shoe, until my sandals broke -_- haha SOMEONE GO SHOPPING WITH ME. i'd love you forever if you could just shop with me.

I'll follow you into the dark

grace, it's your choice to blog about anything or not. after all, IT IS freedom of speech. so i can say stuff on my blog too right? i guess it's freedom to a degree though. if i were to say something really offensive, sure i could, just face the consequences. lala i'm side-tracking x3
by the way, you do sound a tad bit anxious to part with me :]
and of course i can tell that our personalities are very different. you don't laugh at my jokes, i don't laugh at your jokes, so i stop joking, you stop joking, then we just well ourselves up.
it's a little cycle dearie, and i know you can see that.
yes, i admit i misinterpret your words sometimes [can you tell that i'm calm now?], but we all do anyway.
if you REALLY want to part with me, i'm fine with it as long as you are. after all, you've got enough people to back you up [eg. bell and husband], so there's nothing wrong with losing me as a friend yeaps? :D
well, in the end, it is your choice and your choice alone. i don't like the people around me to be upset all the time, so instead of dragging them down, i let them decide.
am i straightforward enough? yes? good.

RANDOM LYRICS TIME!
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some
...
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melodys
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

FEAR IS THE HEART OF LOVE
haha how ironic that is to the stuff above.
teehee i'm delirious. ohh well, i shall go eat my metos!

xoxo
mandy
PS lalalalalalalalalalalala LET'S SING AND BE RANDOM FOR ONCE.

dropping bombs and eating lilies

2008-05-03T22:09:00.005+08:00

DROPPING BOMBS

rawr i'm bored to death.
okay that was in the afternoon. not now.
but yea, was doing stuff with zoey's wild adapter pictures.
teehee. and zoey's fine with it.

anyway, got two new bags :D
all right, one new, one second-hand. but it beats having none x3
*ignore the below because it's just the descriptions of the bags*
the nike bag is a new one :D ohh man pretty silver. too bad i won't be able to use it a lot cause it's a petite shoulder bag
anyway, the second hand bag is a converse shoulder :D it's for school use cause
SOME BLOODY IDIOT TORE MY KAPPA BAG DURING THE RI-NY DEBATE AND SHE STILL HASN'T ADMITTED WHO SHE IS. SHITT YOU.
anyway, so my dad was like get a new bag, then he bought some weird adidas bag i didn't like, so my mom got it, cause she wanted it anyway for my sis, so she gave me the converse bag which she used for like 3-5 times?
it's all right i guess. well, at least i got a bag. better than being stuck with only my crumpler.
*you can stop ignoring now*
gosh, do i sound too materialistic for my own good?

HARD CANDY IS SUCH A YUMMY ALBUM :D
and on another thought, no harriet i don't want you to specifically sleepover, but more like a random visitor. wouldn't want something scandalous would we?
haha kidding.
OMG THE HARD CANDY ALBUM IS REALLY GOOOD.
and so is ice water [in case you were wondering, ice water is just...ice water]. especially when you've put in the fridge for like two hours and only the top layer is frozen :D
and so is donut factory.
i'm such a glutton sighs.
i'm listening to hard candy over again and again. more specifically, it's "heartbeat".

sometimes, i wish i wasn't in this class. but rather, in another with just a few of my present classmates. i wish zoey and caitlin and linsha were with me. i wish i had talked more to caitlin in the past. i wish people in class would just stop stereotyping english music as crap [i don't even stereotype chinese music as crap]. i wish some people actually would bother to remember me, and not literally like ohh hi amanda but rather, who i really am to them/what i did to them. i wish...

stop wishing amanda. you know whatever you wish will just be fulfilled in an undesirable way. your fairy godmother is some kind of sadistic idiot who sticks strictly to what you say, and doesn't fulfill it exactly how you want it, turning you into a jigsaw puzzle when you said you wanted to fit in.

that's exactly what happened on mayday. i got what i wanted. i screwed up my one chance. i'm back to square one.
can we ever just talk like we used to?

you know i feel it in my heartbeat

eating lilies

before i say anything
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIJING! OMG YOU'RE OLDER NOW! WILL GET YOU SOMETHING DEARIE :D

i was pissed just now, but i'm fine now :D i realised if i just don't do anything and not blog about something when i'm angry, i'll lose the urge to do so. unless i'm super screwed and nothing can calm me down :]
i know. i have great self control.
fyi, i was pissed at TWO PEOPLE :D hands up if you know who you are *no hands up* haha it's all right, it's no obvious

i'm so addicted to a new song :D
it's "i'm yours" by jazon mraz. it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside and it calms me down. ~~not to mention it's not too tough to sing too~~
i could listen to it all day and not get sick of it. for now anyway.

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

i was thinking of the song throughout chinese tuition to keep me awake, and i was thinking about hugging people XD
don't know why.

and then there's this "i will follow you into the darl" song by death cab for cutie.
OMG IT'S SO SAD, BUT IT'S SO SWEET. CAN SOMEONE PLAY THAT AT MY FUNERAL?
honestly :D

anyway i've been thinking lately. ~~am i~~ wait no no. that's too sensitive.

anyway, sometimes i feel like having this other opinion, so dearie, if you know that i'm addressing this to you, good. i don't want to blow anything out of proportion so yea. i need to stand up for some other people too.
i think sometimes anonymity is someone's own choice. if they dislike/hate/is pissed at someone, it's sense not to say their names on blogs. if it really offends someone and that persons sues you [happens a lot], the consequences are rather big.
anonymity allows people to get pissed off at others, i guess without consequences. you're doing it, i'm doing it, everyone's doing it. so what's the big fuss if you're doing it too? it's not that we're not being true to ourselves, or not standing up for ourselves, it's a kind of protection for ourselves.
we can say we don't care how people think, but in the end, even you don't do it do you?
i'm not talking about me cause i don't think you're talking about me. sometimes, you do have misconceptions too. so do i.
more often than not, what goes into your blog is more of a sudden thought than anything else.
or maybe not.

xoxo
mandy
PS dropping bombs was a post on thursday i never posted. eating lilies is today's post.

helium balloons and suede dreams

2008-04-30T22:54:00.002+08:00

honestly, people everywhere are a waste of my time.
especially that one person called asstee.
totally ruined my mood today. that ~~dearie~~ a-hole shouldn't have done that.
ohh well, she can be as sadistic as she wants.
she's too afraid of kids like me who tell her the truth cause she thinks we're up to something.
whatever.
csm ~~sucked~~ was hot like &^768dwr47^&*656d3d$&^%f54t&47.
wth, can't even wear jacket to csm? it's a cca jacket, woman.
forget it, just an irritating mosquito at the back of my mind.

anyway, it was so freaking hot. i mean, the sun was blazing on me and all i could do was watch people run -__- pointless having a sports meet when practically only trackers are involved. or fielders. whatever.

rahh qiu luan was selling stuff, didn't see her much. and ji yeon was like weird-ish today [didn't want to probe] and cheryl had her running to do

then me and grace wanted to buy the balloons. freaking balloons people didn't complete the orders first thing in the morning, and chu ning and sok boon waited for like 45 minutes for 8 balloons which they ordered YESTERDAY -_-
waste of my time you know. i mean, i bought the balloons in the end, but the helium lasted for like what, 8 hours?
and when i was queuing, freaking _______ ___________ just cut even though they didn't order. like wth.

anyway, spotted _ when me grace and ji yeon were stoning.
aiya whatever, i didn't really care. it was too damn hot for me to think anyway.

anyway, after the whole csm thing, me and grace went to kap :D to eat of course. we sort of talked a lot about random stuff :D then we went to grace's house. did the chem experiment then MORE RANDOM STUFF.

i really want a sleepover at the below people's house

1.zoey
2.grace
3.linsha [it's interesting for some reason]
4.susi [for om x3]
5. i wouldn't mind andro's house :D

then with zoey, grace, qiu luan, cheryl, ji yeon, linsha, andro, suet, CAITLIN, and the om group and a whole lot of people, including harriet, cause i think she's a rather interesting subject, like zoey, but i still like zoey more.
lalala

i want suede boots or flats out of a sudden :] maybe suede flats don't exist but they would be cute anyway. and i want to learn lindy hop!! haha random

by the way, lindy hop is a jazz inspired dance. and yes, i like jazz music [lounge music too]. and yes, i like looking at people dance, and i'd love to learn lindy hop.

*

we were inseparable from day to night
but that was too long ago, aren't i right?
i'd help with everything i could
you'd accept it not knowing i'd brood
it was hurting me more than helping you
i guess you knew people that were so few
who were quite like me
waiting to set you free

even if it'd hurt me until the end of time

xoxo
mandy
PS you guys don't have to know what i'm talking about -__-

view from here.

2008-04-29T22:05:00.002+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE.
big news.
I REMOVED MY CAST.
okay it isn't that big a news xD but now my whole arm is pain because i haven't moved it for a month. sighs
one good thing is i'm missing napfa :D one bad thing is, if in three months my hand is still stiff, it'll be stiff. FOREVER.
anyway, the past weeks in a FEW words :D

today
so i removed my cast. and cut my hair. you can't tell though, cause it's just trimmed :D cut my fringe [like finally]. i think my hair is still messed up though sighs.
anyway, went to united to get ben and jerry's after cca, BUT REALISED IT CLOSED WHEN WE WERE IN THE QUEUE [saw jessie huen too] and the workers just kept cheering and everyone was like WTF WE QUEUED SO LONG AND IT'S CLOSE.
haha so yuan ming decided to treat us to bakerzin. us as in me and yi jing cause dumbteresa didn't want to come.
haha just reached home about an hour ago. i'm so pro :D
and realised that zoey might indeed be in a couple as harriet.

last week
haha saw jacq. did i mention i missed her so so much?!
haha and me jacq and linsha went to zoey's house too.
lalala
omg i suddenly don't feel like posting stuff here anymore. it's so tiring and boring out of a sudden.
i shall stop crapping.
grace just told me some bi's blog. it's a bit creepy to think zoey doing all that.
sighs, i don't feel like posting here anymore.
ohh and there's csm tomorrow.
damn suck.
RAWR THIS IS SO BORING.
lalala.
i'm more and more in love with demolition lovers now.
and all i want now is to surround myself with katjes and just eat until i fall asleep, not thinking about anything at all.
is that too difficult?
i guess so.
what's the point of posting of trying to keep things from me, like the fact that you have this account that account, when you know i don't really care anymore. ohh wait, i'm just contradicting what i said. fuck.

xoxo
mandy

addiction

2008-04-22T21:14:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to not miss my old skin anymore :D
thanks, grace, for inspiring me to comprehend photoshop, and for making me want to learn how to make blog skins once there's time.
I SHALL GANBATE

lomography is so fun x3
grace taught me how to at first, then i went to find more and more complicated ways to do lomo in photoshop :D
then i went crazy and lomo-fied zoey's pictures!!
as in, me jacq and linsha went to her house today [after csm heats, cheering people] and MESSED WITH ZOEY'S MISA AND L AND BILL PICTURES.
mwahahaha
~~did i mention we almost bumped into _?~~
and jacq was so cute. missed her so so so so much.

hanjing: [to jacq] ohh which is your girlfriend [refering to me and linsha]
jacq: [pulls me] this is my super hot and sexy girlfriend... [pulls linsha] and this is my hot boyfriend.

LMAO
and she was so damn obscene! i mean when she sat on the grass, her electric blue fbts looked like underwear -_- and she talked to ji yeon and ji yeon actually said zoey looked girly -_-
overstatement of the century xD no offences to zoey.

ohh and today, me and rachael ~~bitched~~ TALKED about...some people xDD
haha didn't know a lot of stuff.

current mood:
addicted to lomo-fying
in love with ijbt-ians
love besties and closies
still loves darling mortal dinnie no matter what.
feeling mostly neutral

xoxo
mandy

new

2008-04-21T22:33:00.001+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY.
i would like to thank GRACE KOH
for the new skin :D

xoxo
mandy
PS omg the red and black is overpowering O:

red and black

2008-04-19T22:24:00.002+08:00

that was the colour combination...
FOR MY CLOTHES TODAY XD
haha i know i sound so dumb. honestly i was decked in red and black the whole day.
wake up : nine-tee and black fbts
hatful of stars concer : red gap shirt and black shorts
at home : old red ij shirt and black shorts
haha weird combo. and ps, the reds were all DARK RED. dark red like blood.
i'm having a vampir-ish tendency now.

SCARLET.
TO ALL YOU GUYS WHO MISSED IT YESTERDAY.
YOU DESERVE IT :]
honestly, to me it was good.
people who went probably didn't understand much of the play, but i'm sure they agree it was aesthetically appealing :D
i mean, the roses, lighting, MUSIC. they all create an atmosphere :]
and to rub it in even more,
I SHAN'T TELL YOU GUYS WHAT HAPPENED DURING THE PERFORMANCE. OR WHAT IT WAS ABOUT.
haha anyway, at the end of it all, i popped a bottle of sparkling "_" with teresa :D
can't remember what it was called.
anyway, we wanted to pour it on mr ng's head [after it dripped all over my fingers -_-]
then the old haggish spoilsport named _ had to come and say "don't waste "
like whatever, i don't like you and i don't care

anyway, yan ying, don't be surprised that yuan ming doesn't hate you. you're not hateable and you're nice :D

HATFUL OF STARS.
honestly, it wasn't as brilliant as i expected, but still
GOOD JOB NYMD. it made me wish i could dance :]
and good job tiffany and chermain! you guys danced well. SO SORRY FOR NOT GIVING YOU GUYS ANY FLOWERS.
didn't have much time sighs. or else we would have got you BIG BIG FLOWERS :]
rahh im so jealous, you guys can dance!!

i'm still sick

i'm sick of music.
sick of homework.
sick of thinking too deep.
sick of worrying about my actions.
sick of stereotypes and it's stereotypers.
i'm just so sick.

all i want to see now
is you and your face
and blood in my lace

xoxo
mandy
PS I TOLD YOU I HAD A VAMPIRE TENDENCY IN ME.

think.talk.shut up.

2008-04-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

hello people.

om wasn't very good. we kinda lost. sighs.

never mind. we shall do better!\

GRAHH CAN'T BELIEVE IT, WE BLOODY LOST

&%(*$&%)&_)(*_&^)*^^$%^#@#_)*_)*^^$%^#$(&)^*^$*&$(*%^)(&+_

grrrr.

but the people there were so enthu :D they cheer for EVERYBODY
i can't believe how un-enthu nanyang is -_-
omg my fan is going bonkers. it goes high speed to low to high BY ITSELF OOO:

i was pissed. am pissed. still pissed.
don't worry qiu luan it's got nothing to do with you.
honestly, i can't find anything to talk bad about you for since you're real nice so yea :D

and i have a feeling mr ng found my blog cause he tried "counseling" me to NOT take drugs.
1. i don't take drugs
2. how did he find out about my drug info-fetish
3. even i do and he tried to counsel me, it's not possible for me to get out AND i won't be taking it for friends/whatever shit.

i'm not THAT self-sabotaging yet.
i do not support drugs.
but i admit, finding out about them is interesting :D
AND ZONG BIN, I'M NOT A BLOODY EMO. NOT
i'm your average normal teen who happens to be in nan yang living a stupid tumultuous life.
just cause i like lucy in the sky with diamonds [which coincidentally stands for LSD which is a drug] doesn't mean i'm a druggie.
just cause i know what it seems like taking drugs doesn't mean i TAKE them.
so there :D

talked to ji yeon and lois today.
it finally dawned on me that thinking too much is just WAY stupid.
why think and have such weird relationships/friendships when you can be normal?

i don't feel like ranting. maybe that makes my blog boring.
but i don't care, cause honestly, i'm just learning to cope with my life now.
and sometimes, my words just don't mean a thing to anybody.

think. ~~talk~~ shut up.

xoxo
mandy

kaleidoscope eyes

2008-04-06T23:06:00.002+08:00

this is random, but
i think i will be the first of my friends to be all drugged up in my late teens.
don't blame me when i do.
blame mr ng for letting me listen to all those druggy beatles songs.
and i think lim yu had a share in this too.
see, now i'm hooked onto "Lucy in the sky with diamonds" cause i play the music for scarlet and i like that song a lot other than Quizas.
omg it's so drugged.

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Ah... Ah...

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.
Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone.

Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

omg i love every drug-infused part of it.
the girl with kaleidoscope eyes

xoxo
mandy

there's a hole in your logic, honey

2008-04-05T21:56:00.005+08:00

love that video :D american boy by estelle.
THE GUY AT 00:53 IS HOT.
teehee.

seriously, i should brush up on everything. especially chinese [fyi i failed 60% but passed 50%]
results aside, cca was rather stressed up today.
zephyr wasn't here and she's the sm or something, and since i'm not acting cause of my cast, i have to do the sounds and those stuff.
which was bad, cause i don't know all the cues.
and i got yelled at of course.
haha annoyed the hell out of mr ng. which is a first for me xDD
but he didn't throw anything at me like he does to teresa
i'm good :D
lalalala
then went to gastronomia with teresa and yi jing :]
ohmygod the meringue was GREAT.
i shall buy it and eat it during lessons with lois and cheryl.
it tastes like cotton candy xD
so yummy.

*

honestly, at first i was angry at those words.
after that i was just plain disappointed.
i thought you'd understand after my numerous explanations.
bu it's okay i guess. some stuff can't be enforced into a person's mind.

i'm sorry i was never the friend you wanted.
you wanted an almost challenge-free friendship.
i'm sorry to say, it's impossible.
because then your friendship would be an empty shell
void of real closeness that the troubles have brought.

it's the tears that brings the laughter.
the laughter that brings forth tears

xoxo
mandy
PS i do not dislike/hate you grace. i swear.
how many times do i have to tell you?
but honestly, if you keep asking that after i keep telling you that i don't,
i'd be super pissed and irritated, thanks very much.
PPS honestly, i'm not self pitying at this point of time. so stop saying i am.
PPPS i DO NOT like people who keep having grammatical mistakes time and again in their words [be it compos, blogs, whatever]. i correct you guys and it pisses me off to see it keep occuring when i've corrected it. i'm fusys, but that's the way i am.

american boy

2008-04-04T23:05:00.003+08:00

heyy people!!
one good news today!!

THE ZIG MARKER THING IS OUT

yay :D
i'm so damn embarrassed that i had to re-cast :\
hmmph.

anyway, new favourite song!!
i'm incurable :D

ameircan boy estelle ft. kanye west

Kanye West:

Just another one champion sound
me and Estelle about to get down
who the hottest in the world right now.
Just touched down in London town.
Bet they give me a pound.
Tell them put the money in my hand right now.
Tell the promoter we need more seats,
we just sold out all the floor seats

Estelle:

Chorus
Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day.
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA.
I really want to come kick it with you.
You'll be my American Boy.

He said Hey Sister.
It's really really nice to meet ya.
I just met this 5 foot 7 guys who's just my type.
I like the way he's speaking his confidence is peaking.
Don't like his baggy jeans but Ima like what's underneath it.
And no I aint been to MIA
I heard that Cali never rains and New York heart awaits. First let's see the west end.
I'll show you to my bedroom.
I'm like this American Boy. American Boy

Chorus
Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA.
I really want to come kick it with you.
You'll be my American Boy

Can we get away this weekend.
Take me to Broadway.
Let's go shopping baby then we'll go to a Café.
Let's go on the subway.
Take me to your hood.
I neva been to Brooklyn and I'd like to see what's good.
Dress in all your fancy clothes.
Sneaker's looking Fresh to Def I'm lovin those Shell Toes.
Walkin that walk.
Talk that slick talk.
I'm likin this American Boy. American Boy.

Chorus
Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day.
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA.
I really want to come kick it with you.
You'll be my American Boy

Kanye West:
Who killin em in the UK. Everybody gonna to say you K, reluctantly, because most of this press don't f**k wit me. Estelle once said to me, cool down down don't act a fool now now. I always act a fool oww oww. Aint nothing new now now. He crazy, I know what ya thinkin. White Pino I know what you're drinkin. Rap singer. Chain Blinger. Holla at the next chick soon as you're blinkin. What's you're persona. I got this American Brama. Am I shallow cuz all my clothes designer. Dressed smart like a London Bloke. Before he speak his suit bespoke. And you thought he was cute before. Look at this P Coat, Tell me he's broke. And I know you're not into all that. I heard your lyrics I feel your spirit. But I still talk that CAAASH. Cuz a lot wacks want to hear it. And I'm feelin like Mike at his Baddest. The Pips at they Gladys. And I know they love it. so to hell with all that rubbish

Estelle:
Would you be my love, my love.
could be mine would you be my love my love, could be mine
Could you be my love, my love.
Would you be my American Boy. American Boy

Chorus
Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA.
I really want to come kick it with you.
You'll be my American Boy

i think i shall remove my playlist.
it's rather noisy

xoxo
mandy

i need gasps

2008-04-03T21:46:00.002+08:00

i can't breathe.
and no it's not about how i'm gagged by the unfairness of the world or anything.
i'm serious.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
there's some dust particle/thing that's stuck in my throat and it's choking me.

and to all those people who still don't know.
i've got a big red cast

and i've got a zig marker cover stuck in it.
and it hurts like ~~ants biting your neck~~ there's something stuck in your cast.
yuck and ouch.

whatever.
you fab.
i think only ij people know what it means.
so once again.
FAB, i hope you choke.

xox
mandy

Look at this photograph

2008-03-30T15:08:00.008+08:00

Everytime I do it makes me laugh. Everytime I do it makes me...

heyy people. okay here are the pictures to the day before camp and the camp :D

250308BANG AND SOK BOON IS DEAD.

this reminds me of pan's labyrinth xDD in case you don't know, the circles on qiu luan's hands are eyes :D

SOK BOON :D

haha lois's care bear is in love with ji yeon's ipod

hair o0

CDAYL CAMP

very scary and spastic looking fac [eugene]

JASMINE [CCKSS], SABRINA, SCOTT, DESMOND, KELVIN [ALL SSS]
and all older than me -_-

YU JING from chung cheng. the two guys are from HCI, but i forgot their names xP

the very very scarily gay Roi doing a pole dance on some other guy.

me and CLARA [ZHSS]!!!!

from left: CLARA, JASMINE, ME, KAI LIN, RACHAEL AND THE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME IS MIAN RU [ZHSS]. omg all of you are the love!

kai lin and rachael playing the scissors-paper-stone hand-slapping game :D they look nutty

LG4!!! people in yellow are the facs :D i look damn spastic inside

this is kinda dark :\but if you can see some of the faces, from the left, it's rachael, clara, me, mian ru and jemimah.

guy in blue is kelvin, the girl behind him is fang ting [fac] who is hidden by kelvin's ~~BIG~~ face, guy beside fang ting who looks scary is THE SCARY TEACHER WHO KEEP SAYING THOSE EMO SADISTIC STUFF THAT MADE ME CRY and the guy in front of the teacher is scott.

from left: rachael, clara, me, mian ru and jemimah!
omg jemimah looks damn pretty here :D

clara's thigh which was so badly beaten during the mrt game. you can't see it, but there were finger marks when i beat her thigh to get her to tell me which guy in family 2 she thought was shuai xD

sabrina's pretty o0 just realised.

this is jin xing. jin xing is the guy who said i had a talent in dancing [yay me], and that i needed to mix with guys more. and he said that to rachael too [i think]
his eyes are so red cause i think during the part where the scary teacher was saying those emo stuff, he sobbed

LG4!!! ohh man, i look dumb here -_- im at the back by the way.

kai lin, me, rachael, sabrina and clara!

yet another LG picture :D i look better here, cause YOU CAN'T SEE MY FACE xDD

Eugene the fac trying to stop us from opening the LT doors cause we wanted the air con breeze during lunch xDD

jasmine, kai lin and me.
KAI LIN LOOKS REALLY PRETTY HERE AND SO DOES JASMINE.
sighs.

shall stop uploading :]

arghhh i miss camp!
the bad thing about camp is it made my legs bigger, like more muscles.
now it looks scarily big. and i don't like it.
GIVE ME BACK MY NORMAL LEGS WITH NO FATS.

close your eyes.
dry your tears.
cause when nothing seems clear,
you'll be safe here.

photos are my medication
for memories that are fading into oblivion
i haven't lost it yet :]

xoxo
mandy
PS the close your eyes thing is totally random.
RANDOM I SAY.

i'm feeling yummy head to toe

2008-03-29T15:20:00.005+08:00

haha random title.
anyway, OMG THE CDAYL CAMP AT JJC!!
there's nothing i can say that could quite describe it. and no, not in a bad way either.
IT ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF.
i mean, it's even better than the nanyang camps and the other camps i went to.
okay, except the adventure camp during p5. that was really good.
but but cdayl was just so fun. it's like, even though i didn't know many people there at first [in the end, i still couldn't quite remember their names. damn my memory], but i don't know.
~~i have a feeling my group was even more bonded than 211~~
well, rachael was with me and so was kai lin, and throughout the whole camp, rachael seriously went nuts. as in really nutty nuts.
haha the facilitators[aka facs] there were even crazier than the ny councilors. and the facs weren't even councilors or something. they were just freaking volunteers o0
i think this shall be a wordy port :D

day ONE
got out of dad's car and there were like dozens of jc people and the moment i got out, two of them rushed towards me and yelled "MORNING" and were like "do you need help with your bags" throughout the whole time i was walking in the canteen.
seriously, i had to make a call to rachael to ask her were she wa and while i was talking on the phone, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF THEM WERE LIKE "DO YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR BAGS?" AND "GOOD MORNING!!!! DO YOU NEED ANY HELP?!?!"
anyway, i got into the hall and that was the most embarrassing part.
cause the moment i stepped in, like practically ALL the free facs just rushed towards me and said "hello do you need any help?!" and they started doing some morning cheer and i was like, the only person at the back of the hall who didn't know what was going on, so i half-ran towards my group [which was LG4] and i met rachael :D
then yea, a lot of facs came and asked for names etc etc.
anyway first friend made not from ny: YU JING FROM CHUNG CHENG HIGH (MAIN)
haha she was so shyyy
or it's cause i was weird and high from all the weird cheering people -_-
anyway, good thing rachael was there. at least she helped me be more sociable [i bet she doesn't know it]. if she wasn't there, i wouldn't have dared to be so open.
anyway, shortly after, it's like me and rachael was talking to this fac [i think it was jia en or jin xing o0], then suddenly they rushed to the back of the hall in the middle of our convo, and then they started cheering the horrific good morning cheer to a bunch of people from who know what school and all the people looked so sian.
then i realised they were from singapore sports school.
scary and intimidating school. i mean, people who are like, REALLY sporty. not that ny doesn't have sporty people, but in case you didn't know, neither me nor rachael was sporty.
then like what, three of them went to sit behind me and rachael. -__-
at first i didn't see their faces cause rachael started talking to me, then the fac was like, "ehh don't ignore the people behind you lehh." so i turned around to say hi, thinking they were all chinese-y looking people, then i kinda was like whoa, cause the two guys [they were one girl, two guys] looked alike and also like caucasians or something o0
anyway, the girl was sabrina [she seemed so shy. why the hell are the girls shy -___-] and the guys were scott and kelvin. sabrina and scott were sec 3s and kelvin was sec 4. it seemed like me and rachael were one of the youngest in the camp/group cause there were so little sec 2s -___-
anyway, sabrina's in synchronised swimming [if i'm not wrong. argh dammit], scott and kelvin are in swimming.
or they are tri-athletes. ahh whatever. they are pro people in sports okay. and all three of them are quite okay looking -____- nice to look at but intimidating. and they make you demoralised.
they intimidate me. that's that.
so yea, chatted a bit then went downstairs for cheers and then met up with kai lin and another person called JASMINE from ccks [cca: band]. omg, jasmine's really nice :D
anyway, rachael felt a little guilty for leaving the SSS people cause it's like we sort of talked to them, and well, i didn't really care. so we kinda left them alone during cheering and we played stupid games like earthquake, fire and hunter or something.
but somehow it was quite fun xD
well, we had some seminar which was so uber uber uber boring -___- the people talking didn't even answer the questions posed by the students properly.
anyway, after that went for lunch. and freaked jasmine, rachael and kai lin out with ghost stories.
well, found out that jasmine's pretty much like me xDD and that she plays golf and that she lives around the whole stretch of condos at hill view. she lives near sabrina, who lives in summer hill. which is adrienne's old house by the way xD so coincidential.
jasmine likes to dance and sing a lot, something i found out later in the night. it's like everytime we hear some english song in the hall we know, we'd sing to it and shake our butts xD
and yes, i sang and dance A LOT THRUGHOUT THE WHOLE CAMP
more seminars -____- anyway, kai lin, me, jasmine and rachael were sitting behind the SSS people in the LT and it's like, they were dozing off and were so obvious -_- so was kai lin, but yea.
anyway, after that we cheered a lot. actually, most of the camp was cheering and mass dancing, which weirdly, wasn't too bad, just really tiring.
and i realised that theatre has done a good thing to me, cause usually in theatre, we're forced to not sit down or something, so i could actually bear through the whole night with not sitting. we ran around the school, and it was really fun for the cluedo-night trail.
day one was as in it was fun AND boring. weird. the food was horrible though.
then we had a singing session which i seriously CRIED when we were singing the songs cause they were so meaningful and the stupid teacher kept going on and on and on about how we're never gonna see each other after the camp ever again.
anyway, he was also scolding the facs about how useless they were, cause two people went missing during the camp and one of them needed anti-depressant pills or something.
then it hit me that being a leader was something of great burden. and he kept going on and on about how the facilitators suck.
"facilitators, you SUCK."
and i started crying. don't know why -_-
anyway, during supper we played this zookeeper and the monkey game. it's really funny xDD
and i sort of made kelvin do a one hand push up [forfeits] but he couldn't and fell. haha was really sorry cause it was kinda my idea and all...
anyway, he did the normal push ups real quick so yea -_-
and i realised i slept better when i listened to demolition lovers, drowning lessons, romance, and the cancer song before i slept :D

day TWO
okay woke up real early cause of some irritating people's alarm. and it was like what, 4.50am?
and i wanted to sleep til 6am after that, but no, it wasn't possible, cause it started becoming nosier -_-
then it's like, i had to scout for a more empty toilet, and as i was walking, it's like kelvin was walking my way, then i was thinking about whether to say hi or not cause it's like, he LOOKS dao and it was morning and i don't even know him well, and not to mention 8 years in a girls' school didn't help, and i pretty much DON'T LIKE saying hi to guys ever since meeting cedric this year -_-
well, so walk walk, then he said hi and i was like, "ohh hi"
didn't realise he'd actually remember who i was cause i didn't talk much to him
haha. i'm an idiot xD
anyway, we played mostly water games today. and i tell you,
the water games kicked ass
i mean, seriously, the nanyang water games were nowhere compared to this. it's like, i was drenched head to toe. like, this guy poured a whole bucketful of water over me. but it was good and fun and nice and lalala. it was great :D
and i sort of slipped and banged into some guy in the middle of the water games xDD and then i slipped on the wet floor and i fell and landed on my INJURED LEFT WIRST. damn pain, but never mind.
and after that i took lots of pictures :D okay not a lot, but yea a number of them.
and made another nice friend called clara from zhenghua [cca: drama]. she is really really a good gossiper xDD and we made a nice handshake today :D
omg when i said bye to her, i seriously cried like nobody's business. cause i didn't make friends with her earlier.
anyway, we also had mass dance in the morning. and rachael was dancing with a fac [so was i, but the fac i was dancing with was scary cause he was like...? never mind]
did i mention we were forced to have guy girl dance?
anyway, so we were dancing and i was sian and then rachael and jin xing went to dance behind me and my fac. i was just so tired and sian due to lack of sleep i guess, and the irritatble person beside me, so i danced, and TRIED to enjoy it.
then suddenly jing xing said "ehh you dance quite well, are you in dance?"
shocking.
in school, no one ever complimented me on my dancing.
anyway, rachael suddenly said "ohh yea. ehh amanda you have a gift for dancing"
that was an overstatement, but i was reveling in those compliments xD
anyway, seriously my dance partner got jealous and then he was like "really mehh?" and he tried to dance better, which was kinda hilarious xDD
anyway, we had leaders' night, which was FUN FUN FUN, cause we cheered a lot a lot and sang a lot [okay, i think just me and jasmine xD] and watched the performance and blah blah.
sighs. then i noticed that rachael kept avoiding the sports school people -___- no idea why man.
haha then we had supper, and i took quite a few pictures and sabrina and this other girl called jemimah had a arm wrestling match and i realised that sabrina is really strong :D
ohh man sports school people ARE scary xD
mess and die.
anyway, we sort of played concentration [we as in, me, clara, jasmine, mian ru, desmond, rachael, kai lin, scott, jemimah and kelvin.] and i tell you, i'm so loser-ish.
i stoned in the middle of the game and it's like i can't even remember who called my number and then i was stoning and like "huh..." yea so i was the first one out.
and then all the girls kept losing, and it was down to desmond, scott ad kelvin -_- only guys were left.
and then desmond was out, and kevin and scott was left.
well, i think scott won, if i'm not wrong. whatever. it was a stupid game grr -_-
haha anyway, me and rachael gossiped about the people in camp.
anyway, it was really funny, cause we didn't want anybody to hear we were saying xD and yet, the people we were talking about were sleeping near us.
haha not obliged to reveal.
that about sums up day two. of course, more stuff happened [like i cried again, cause we sang all those songs about friends and blah blah, and this time, i didn't care even though i technically cried in front of the guys -____- and they were all staring]

day THREE
well, today was a sad day. i spent the whole morning sitting with clara, even though i wanted to it near jasmine too, since it was the last day, but she was sitting with sabrina, who was sitting next to scott and kelvin, whom rachael didn't want to sit with -__-
anyway, i talked to clara quite a bit xDD i asked her whether she thought kelvin was shuai and she said "yea of course! don't you think so?!"
LOL
anyway, i cried a lot during the time when we had to gather in the hall for some sort of last bonding session. we sang all those sad songs again, and it was like, i started crying in the middle. wait, i mean TEARING, and then during "you raise me up", clara cried cause the stupid teacher was talking about parents and all and clara was thinking about them or something.
and he kept going on and on about how this is one of the last times we can talk and sing together and how we will never see each other again.
let's see what he said
"...and you know it won't ever be the same again. NEVER. even if you guys pass each other in orchard road, you WON'T recognise your fellow campers again, and you won't know you've passed him or her and when you do, you won't even remember the name, and you remember the moments which you guys have shared, and by then, he or she would have disappeared and you won't ever see him or her again."
woah, i just cried at that point, cause i was thinking about the song "whatsername" when he said that.
it made me real sad when i reached home too, cause i didn't have all their numbers/emails cause i didn't have a handphone or paper with me and i kept forgetting to ask them for it.
sighs. i regret it so much now.
anyway, during lunch, me and clara gossiped xD
[stuff deleted here. if you're the first few to read this post that day, you're lucky :D]
anyway, me and clara tried to experiment with how he would react when we waved at him together. so we were like, "1...2....3 wave!!" and we waved, and he was like "o_o"
haha then clara suddenly shouted, "OMG AMANDA YOUR EYES CHANGED COLOUR OOO:", cause the previous day, kai lin yelled that i changed eye colour from dark brown to a lighter brown with specks of bright orange in it, even though i wasn't looking at anyone wearing orange, then it changed back to dark brown after a few hours.
[in case you guys don't know, my eyes change colours and once, it went HAZEL. andro can prove it]
anyway, she was yelling away that it was cool then she was like "OMG YOU'RE A WITCH" cause my eyes changed to a middle warm brown. then it's like a lot of people stared at me, and i don't like it when people stare at me like i'm some exhibitionist or animal.
haha anyway, we played quite a lot of games like "contact". was really fun and i can't really remember who it was, i think it was scott or something o0, cause he had to pass the contact to someone and he was like, "err...err....err....err....err....errrrrrrrmanda." haha that's really smart, cause a sounds like err -____- haha i'm lame.
then we took quite a lot of pictures of weird stuff xD like one of the facs trying to stop us from opening the LT doors to get air con, cause it was seriously HOTT.
then we had some sort of seminar and lantern making competition, which seriously was a waste of time. i mean, the time could have been used for us to bond with our LG and to get numbers and emails and to say goodbye properly, cause i realised the SSS people left before the camp finished, during the competition i think, and i needed to get one of their emails to send pictures -_- sighs so sad.
anyway, when we were dismissed at the LT, i cried after saying goodbye to clara and jasmine. seriously, i was really sad. didn't say a proper goodbye to jasmine :\ i wish we could go for a LG outing or something [kinda impossible] i mean, we were rather close, then all of a sudden, we had to go on separate ways.
i regretted a lot of stuff, like not getting their emails and numbers, and not bonding properly with everyone, and not talking more, and not saying goodbye properly and the sort.
sighs. i didn't even know everybody's names in my LG. i only knew a handful of them i think like, slightly more than ten. but a lot of them stay near me though, those that i know of anyway, like jasmine, clara, rachael [like duh], sabrina and scott.
sighs.

rahh the camp rocked. and now, i miss the people in camp. sulks.
anyway, shall post the pictures tomorrow. too tired now. it's like 1.15am.
expect lots of spastic photos!

[this version of the post has been edited. if you really want to see the FULL version, you've gotta ask me xD]

xoxo
mandy
PS i still miss the camp people. it was fun. and the feeling sucks that i probably won't ever see them again hmmph. i'm trying not to post stupid emo lyrics. rahh.
LOVE YOU GUYS ~~will miss you guys~~ missed you already.

gone going

2008-03-25T23:28:00.005+08:00

heyy peoples
today was fun and happy and good.
i think anyway.
well, i missed school up to about 11am 'cause of my stupid malfunctioning wrist [lol seriously, it's just fractured].
then after that we had lessons blah blah and then i took lots of spasticated pictures of other people, and LAUGHED A LOT A LOT :D
it was fantastic.
then i took ji yeon's iPod home. and listened to demolition lovers a hell lot.
i swear, ji yeon, whatever you say, it's still a nice nice nice song.
and cca wasn't bad. i mean, i think i improved on my role :D
and talked to shu hui a bit about bill :3
and got back the personality assessment thing :D
i think it's rather funnily accurate.
and and and
i'm going away for camp tomorrow!!!
all the way to jjc -___-
won't be back til firday, and even so, i gotta go for cca until 8pm.
which WILL be fun [i hope.]

and i realised who are my mascots for the two demolition lovers :D
it will be my spastic button-eyed bunny-monster and grace's black spastic bunny-elephant-monster.
not that grace is my lover :D
it's her monster that's my monster's lover :D
and they shall be my mascot.
if you don't know what i'm talking about, i will be posting their picture, as well as the spastic pictures and hopefully the camp pictures.
or you can just take a look at my msn dp if it shows two stupid looking toys :D
omg, three ":D" consecutively xDD
i'm getting high!!
and bill is still the love.
and so are the demolition lovers.
and so is me :D

xoxo
mandy
PS i've decided to upload the monsters' picture first :D i think it's really cute. a lot of people may differ, but never mind xD

LOVE LOVE me

2008-03-24T21:01:00.004+08:00

haha omg.
i'm getting highhhHH
i feel like posting a tokio hotel vid.
i swear i'll take it off soon.
bill looks gay, but never mind.
i think he still looks cute xDD

enjoy!!!
okay, i don't think you guys can enjoy tokio hotel, but never mind xD

xoxo
mandy
PS bill is the guy who is singing xD

random random

2008-03-23T00:13:00.003+08:00

if you like my lipstick that go ahead and kiss it

haha i'm just being random.
today/yesterday was a random day. like lots of weird stuff like sightings and eating and sleeping and dreaming and weird stuff like "zomg did you see that" and "you're such a bitch, woman! but i still love you anyway" xDD
haha people can be so random.

i want a happy skin. by the way grace, i'm just saying for fun. you don't need to make :D
i want happy posts.
i want to post happy posts :D

lalalalalala happy lalalala.
i swear i'm not high on drugs or smoke of glue or cuts.
i swear, cutting makes you high because of some endorphin stuff being released.
and it's addictive. i swear, i got addicted in primary school and it was nice people and besties who got me through. :D

i don't know i want to mess with vodka. haha i feel like drinking vodka out of a sudden. wait not vodka. either sake or wine would do fine :D

i feel like slacking, but i know that's not right.
i think it's cause the block tests made me feel like it's eoys.
grrrr screw you block tests hmmph
but of course cca and other commitments DON'T ALLOW ME TO SLACK. which is a good thing :D
like i'm having camp this week dammit. at jjc. and after camp, i gotta go back to school for cca until 8.
and then on the week of performance, it's cca until 9 or 10.
but i don't mind, cause i think it's nice to stay in school at night.
especially since it's the science block [:
oh and the details. hmmm
18th April, behind atrium around science block, 7pm
i think so anyway.

i like electrico!!!
omg they're sone everybody's here is so good :D
it's not available in their album, but i've got it xDD
and their site is damn nice too.
go visit!!
gahh i'm addicted. i'm seriously hopeless.
it's a surprise i support local bands :D
well only Eledtrico and The Great Spy Experiment.
lalala
He said, “You on your own is what you see here
And it’s hard to see it any other way
Now it’s time to open up your eyes.
Cos, you don’t know that everybody’s here
Same old story time and time again
You just never turned to look behind.”
lalala

haha i'm getting weird high and random.
talk.type.think.

the thing that teresa said really woke me up :D
thanks teresa :]

I'm not alone, it's not just me here
It's not that hard to reach out to find your way
Now it's time to open up your eyes
palalala oh my god it's stuck in my head now. that "everybody's here" song.
it's my happy song, next to reden, in die nacht and whatsername AND SAINT JIMMY.
spasticated andro just typed it into my tagboard xD
love you guys!!

xoxo
mandy
PS rawr i miss the tv. when are you coming back!!
PPS the electico song is in my playlist.

I'm a hazard to myself.

2008-03-21T20:59:00.005+08:00

how true :D
i remember how sad i was after _ stopped talking to me. okay _ is a lot of people
and then i vented my anger on a lot of people and stuff.
i hurt myself in the process, but i hurt a lot of others around me way more than i do to myself.
so i'd like to apologise to whoever who has suffered when they were with me. hmm let's see. today i shall put names this once.

i'm really, really sorry to
GRACE, VIVIAN, ZOEY [ yea you probably don't know it, but i'm sorry for all those time when...never mind], LINSHA, CHERYL, JI YEON, AND CEDRIC [but now, i'm not sorry much].and people stop misunderstanding me whenever i put his name on my blog. I DO NOT LIKE HIM. DO NOT.

anyway, i really love to eat tutu kuehs :D i discovered my lastest love!!!
if i still like it until october, i want 14 tutu kuehs as my birthday cake xDD
i think that'd cost about 6 dollars. which is quite cheap for a "cake".
and i can share it with everyone :D

i went to church today for about 4 hours. it's good friday and...
i want hot cross buns!!!
they're so so yummy.
and of course, the mass was great. really spiritual, and i actually liked it for once.
not only cause of the buns.
and i can't believe that skinnys guy was actually quite devout.i mean, he's positiviely in a gang, looks like some weird paikia who flirts with both sexes, and i think he's some kind of weird person who looks way too skinny [it's cause of the skinnys i guess]
but yea. a rather big surprise.
what's even weirder is that he actually sings the hyms in mass. woah.

i had lots to say in the afternoon but i forgot what i wanted to say after mass. oops.
ohh yea, i really, really, really, REALLY like green day again. :D especially the "whatshername" song
Remember, whatever, it seems like forever ago.
i don't know, but it gets me real nostalgic.
don't ask ~~who~~ why.

omg my left hand hurts like acupuncture [or how pain it looks anyway].
i can't even type properly without it hurting like sfdklh9237f9832y9r8y3
rawr.

bill is too pretty for his own good. but never mind, he's still hot.

random thing #1 I MISS CAITLIN!!!
random thing #2 I'M HOOKED ONTO SMOSH AND NIGAHIGA VIDS
random thing #3 I'M HOOKED ONTO A GERMAN SONG NOW
random thing #4 I'M HOOKED ONTO LOTS OF THINGS. TUTU KUEH AND HOW PPRETTY BILL IS. TOO PRETTY. you can see him in the vids in shumin's blog. he's the guy singing
random thing #5 I THINK I'M BEGINNING TO THINK SOME GUYS LOOK A LOT LIKE GIRLS

okay i can't stand it anymore. i need to get this across. i just hope you see my blog and are one of the silent readers here. unlike most people, sometimes, i prefer to name people on my blog. it's nowhere as sincere as talking face to face, and not even as sincere as talking online, but i don't see you online often AND i don't know how to talk to you anymore, face to face.

vivian;
hello. are you suprised to see your name big and purple here? :] well i think so, but whatever. i haven't apologised for whatever i've done :\
so here.
i'm really sorry. i know to you, i've changed, and well lots of people think so too, but maybe you took it the hardest, and not to mention that i've been an absolute nuthead and that i always think too much and even though i don't mean it, i sound like i pity myself most of the time and i sometimes think i do too, and i don't bother to change my tone. well, i don't see the point sometimes, but i don't know. and for that other day in class when you felt that my tone was bad. i didn't even know it until grace told me on the bus on the way home that you were angry cause of the one of my voice. i'm really sorry, cause i didn't realise i raised my tone or whatever, cause i thought i was quite calm and i didn't really know how to use the words to not offend you or anybody, but i guess i used them wrongly [like always, and probably now, to you too]. sighs.
alright, i'm sorry for every wrong thing that i've ever done to you. you may not feel this as a sincere apology but...
i'm really sorry. i don't even know if i'm apologising for the right stuff, cause you hardly ever say anything about your feelings a lot, which really isn't good, cause if you bottle stuff inside you, you'd seriously burst one day.
please don't bottle it up. i don't mind you yelling at me or anything, but not knowing if you're upset is the worst, 'cause i don't know what i can do, and i keep thinking that keeping everything to yourself can hurt you cause everyone thinks you're happy and you're not but you still gotta act like you're happy and all.
everyone thinks you're happy when you're not. it's the worst cause it's like,
bottling everything up is like shaking a bottle of coke. you shake it, feel it up to the brim. when it's full, you're still filling and you're letting everything pour out.
i don't make sense. but when have i anyway.
i hope you see this.

rahhh. i'm outta here.
gonna watch some more smosh and nigahiga vids xD

xoxo
mandy
PS ZOEY YOU'RE MY BESTEST BEST BESTYEE TOO.
haha but a lot of people are still uber close to me. like grace for instance :D

demolition lovers♥

2008-03-17T22:00:00.002+08:00

i just realised that MCR lyrics are so nice.
as in the old songs.
it's all about loves which never quite worked out.
but at least they died together.
haha.

"Demolition Lovers" by MCR
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and

I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...

All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
[x4]

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun

And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever

...how sweet.

i'm sorry to lots of people.
i really am. you can't really see the sorri-ness online though.
i've been thinking.
i don't deserve to be a liability to group members and my friends.
i'm really sorry.
i hope i can go to cgs/scgs.
maybe it's be better :]

i don't know. it just occured to me that staying in scgs wouldn't be that bad anymore.
ps i'm NOT self pitying.
i really don't know what i'm doing now.

i still love you

2008-03-14T23:17:00.003+08:00

even though you hurt me time and again

haha WHAT A TITLE, MAN. not to mention this is post #100.
it doesn't apply to me though. just something that happened to someone.
actually it does apply to a lot of people including me.
but that would be in the past. :D
FYI i'm over any guy that i ever liked.

anyway, it's funny how painful crushing on someone is.
i mean, when you want to get over him/her, it seems impossible, 'cause the only feasible way to get rid of the thoughts at that moment in time, when your mind is a messed up Gaussian blur,
is to forget about him/her

i think i've told grace already.
forgetting doesn't help.
i'm serious, from whatever little experience i ever had.
forgetting someone is tough.
i sat in my dad's car at 8pm, on my way home from Malaysia, listening to The Sharpest Lives by MCR and i suddenly thought of something that just hit me like a bullet to my brain.
trying to forget someone is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

i tried to forget lots of people 'cause i knew that whatever relationship we had would end some day, really painfully. and the worst was, it'd hurt a lot.
i tried to forget cedric, the P6 clique [in preparation of PSLE -_- and 'cause i couldn't take all the shit about me anymore], all the besties i ever had, seriously.
it's like a stupid curse. everytime i make a friend or bestie or something, some stupid thing will happen and the relationship will spiral into oblivion.
or we will just drift like how me and tze yuen did.

back to the point about crushes.
they hurt and they claw at you.
i mean, the thought of not having them or not being able to get them is gnawing at your bones.
you think about them day and night and it hurts like pin needles sticking into you.
but somehow, just somehow, that funny weird feeling you get when you think of them.
think of the happy moments you've shared.
even if whatever you wanted was impossible, you hold on to those memories that you've both had.
sometimes, holding onto them for a bit too long. like i did.
it was a horrible mistake, but i smile when i think of them, 'cause that person was by my side through whatever emo-ness i couldn't share with the people around me.
i felt bliss that someone cared so much.
okay i'm getting emotional even though i said to myself i don't give a damn about those memories anymore. with the music in the background [in die nacht by TH]
see what i mean?
those memories are sweet, long gone, but i can still taste it in my mouth.
we can't rid of these memories, annoying as they are, but they make you happy once a while.

i clutch my heart in my hands.
just as you do to yours.
i understand how you feel.
i've been there.
you want to rid of a certain person.
it's not possible, if you want the truth.
but i know, slowly, surely
you'll be left with memories.
memories that will be by your side even when i'm gone.

i feel melancholy.
i hold on to memories long gone.
i think about times that i've had.
i don't want to be alone when i'm sad, when i need something happy by my side.
i take those memories with me.
i take it and hold whatever i have close.
i fall asleep.
into dreams that would calm me.
dreams of...

you hear me when i quietly cry
even when you're miles away
in the night when i need someone
someone to listen
i have you.
i had you.
how long can we be here together?

xoxo
mandy

Littlest things they take me there...

2008-03-11T03:00:00.004+08:00

Littlest Things [lily allen]

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
There's no one in the world that could replace you

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

"you're my TEDDY BEARRRRRR"

2008-03-08T21:15:00.003+08:00

quote unquote ji yeon.
god, you're so weird man. hugging me at night -_____- and the other stuff.
haha grace is freaked by you and says she doesn't feel right sometimes when we're with you xDD
and what's with turning into my cousin man.
so scary O:
haha BUT I STILL LOVE YOU DARLING :D

anyway, camp is...was... whatever.
it's fun :D
i'm not gonna go in detail about what happened. it'll take up too much time.
okay first day, we went to Labrador park for amazing race.
it was SO SO SCREWED. i mean, lots of running and ant bites everywhere AND WORST OF ALL, classes that cheated in games.
i'm not even naming that class. they're so ass-fugly-holes.
yea, they're smart, but whatever.
i don't give a damn about smart people.
pfft.
and the food was horrible. HORRIBLE. i mean weird unidentified meat coated with orange gravy. like, YUCK.
and stuff that supposedly is carrot cake, but it really looks like a block of sponge and oil.
this year's camp is boring.
i liked last year's camp better.
but anyway, we watched a movie on the first day, and me grace cheryl and ji yeon were all sitting together chomping on bubblegum and blowing bubbles.
haha fun.
ohh did i mention we had to do some drama stuff? it's like. i don't know, under-prepared i guess. but never mind.

ohh man, i don't feel like typing anymore.
dammit.

anyway, camp was fun and all, we played the water games and whatever.
the water game was so fun.
and we had the personality assessment. turns out i'm a people's person.
haha are you surprised? i am.
but yea, it was fun.

and i realised this class doesn't take theatre people seriously.
it seems to me that to them, drama people are better than theatrettes.
whatever.

i'm so tired. even after sleeping til 2pm.
it's just camp and the ants that bit me when i slept in the quadrangle.
so gross. the surprising thing was, they were all over julia, and she wouldn't even wake up.
and she even scolded me when i tried waking her up cause she thought i was joking or something -__________-

i saw a different side of you.
the side that got on my nerve and made me realise you were such the spoilt brat sometimes.
like whatever. piss off.
you're just another person who wants what she wants, and thinks that all her ideas are the best.
and i got all the blame for that plot you came up with.
thanks a lot man.

anyway, CAN'T WAIT FOR GATHERING.
AND CCA. AND MOVIES. AND LOTS OF HOLIDAY STUFF.
too bad it's only gonna be one week. then after that it's back to school life, and not to mention block tests.
bleh.
I WANNA GO SWIMMING AND TO GO AND EAT.
i'm getting hyper now.
oops.

xoxo
mandy

what can i say?

2008-03-03T22:24:00.003+08:00

everything was fine

hello everyone.
i feel like i'm in a whirlwind.

MONDAY
hmm just came back from my grand dad's wake/funeral.
was pretty much upset and was even more upset after finding the pile of stuff called homework under my table.
then i realised i missed out lots of things and that so much happened in one week.
and im not just saying lesson wise either.
classroom politics, whatever. all of them kind of went twirly twirl whilst i was gone.
yea that's how messed up life is.
or rather, that's how messed life in a sophisticated school is.
Zoey is in awe of nanyang, but she doesn't want to come here.
now i see why.

went to taka with jiyeon and snuck auntie anne's pretzel home xD
YUMMYLICIOUS

today was fine.

TUESDAY
cca was canceled. i was kinda sad. i mean, IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE CCA.
and cca was the only thing i looked forward to all day that day, 'cause everyone was doing the "pissy missy".
so i had to do stuff alone and all, but yea.
but it was fine.
went to taka with cheryl and sok boon :D
and ate A LOT. okay not a lot, but enough to make me full :D
ate a cup of yogurt, some ice cream AND TORI Q!! omg it's SO UBER NICE.
haha went to pull&bear and some funny thing concerning the three of us, tori q and chicken bones happened xDD
then went to zoey's house.
on the way there i dropped this plushie hanging on my bag. then this guy picked it up.
how sweet. normal guys would just kick it till i don't see where it goes.
THANKS MYSTERIOUS GUY DRESSED IN A BLUE HCJC SHIRT AND WAS ON 171.
you saved my toy :D
going to zoey's house was great.
i got hugs from BOTH zoey and luther.
LUTHER GAVE ME A BETTER HUG THAN YOU DID ZOEY. TAKE THAT.
then we did a couple of pretty stupid stuff :]
but it cheered me way up in the sky.
then i reached home and realised i left my toy at zoey's house -____-
today was neutral, not 'cause i didn't feel anything, but 'cause everything evened out.

WEDNESDAY
well, i can't remember much. maybe it's 'cause i've banged my head against the table ~~every time my parents come in when i'm crying~~
but today, we still joked like everything was normal.
normal is that the right word?
but yea. heard about some england stuff in the auditorium.
that was the last time i actually laughed with grace ever since.

THURSDAY
i don't know what triggered it off.
i guess it was the class shirt size and sms me in malaysia thing.
which seriously is the stupid-est thing to start a cold war with.
this was the day everyone started to be cold to me.
but yea. never mind.
i can't even remember if i went home straight after school.
i don't even know why.

FRIDAY
today was i don't know.
weird.
everyone seemed like they either didn't hear me or pretended not to.
i said something to some of my om members thrice and they just ignored.
so i kept quiet like the angel who cut out her tongue.
silently moving on.
all was quite horrible with the fake-ness and all, and i barely pulled through to cca.
which was just the love.
i reached and realised i missed everyone more than i missed the eleveners.
well, i wasn't really happy so what do you think?
even though i had to memorise a script in like 5 minutes and perform in front of not just the whole cca, but jessie and sherm too, it was better than facing 211. or rather, that group of people
and love's gonna get you down
well, i was quite happy then.
THEN TERESA, YUAN MING AND ME WENT TO SWIRLS ~~and there was this cute counter guy~~ AND THERE WERE THESE ASSHOLES OF GUYS THAT WERE LIKE SO MEAN, JUST CAUSE THEY WERE CAUCASIAN.
like whatever. one of them even has the exact same phone in the same colour as me xDD girly boy!!!
then i got home, and used the computer to read a couple of posts.
i shouldn't have done that.
so i held my tears, ran to get the phone so my parents won't know a thing, and dialed the first number that came to my mind.
ZOEY LOH YAN.
god, zoey you better be happy.
anyway, had a rather nice talk with her. yea i did cry like during more than half the conversation, but it's good in a way i can say it out loud after bottling up and posting on my blog.
so yea. know what she said?
never mind. anyway, mid-way through the conversation she made me laugh so hard i forgot about what i was thinking about and whatever turmoil i had just for that moment.
thanks zoey. LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
just so you know, you made everything better, even though it' only for a little bit.
i'm really glad we kept in touch :D
i felt better just before 12 am.

SATURDAY
i slept til 2pm!!
haha other than that, not much happened.

SUNDAY
hmm church, lunch then library, all with nicolette.
she's another nice one. the one who cracks all the weird sarcastic jokes and make me laugh when we played this hand-slapping game.
omg, it was so so funny xDD
anyway, not much happened.

weekends and holidays are the happiest days of my life

TODAY
well, today kinda sucked.
i mean, it was okay at first with qiu luan and cheryl and ji yeon.
then it just sucked after school.
heated[or rather, not so heated. i was feeling calm] smses, scary cold wars, to uneasy laughter.
all so very scary.
all cause i wanted to express myself on a piece of paper no less.
i can't even think something in peace these days.
i'm not looking forward to camp.
not really anyway.
you made it this way

where is gray and zoey when i need them?

*

i was going to type out a whole load of crap that'd make you accuse me of trying to make you feel guilty.
but whatever. i seriously have no energy anymore.
i really would like you to be my bestie again, but if you keep thinking that i plot against you, or whatever shit, well, i don't know.
just so you know, sometimes people like to express what they feel on a piece of paper, and usually when yours truly writes thoughts on a piece of paper, it's not meant to be read, unless i said yes.
and just so you know.
it's entirely up to you.
i've moved my chess piece. how about you?

nothing is fine now, is it?

xoxo
mandy

i miss gray.

2008-03-01T17:14:00.003+08:00

you do it to yourself, just you. you and no one else

you know i never did plot.
but if you want to think that way, it's up to you.
i am trying to be normal, but people just leave me out you get what i mean?
guess not.
how can i be normal when you've been ignoring or in your words, daoing me
god, do i sound childish.
i AM pathetic. a pathetic nuthead who believes everything will be all right in the end.
i guess some things just won't.
and fine, i'll just move my emo-ing to some place else.
wait, why do i even care when you don't care about me anymore hmm?
besides, i DON'T KNOW about twit language [i didn't really care either].
that's why i made you clarify. and anyway, what's wrong with not knowing? what's the big fuss about not knowing anyway?
forget it. i won't try to explain or whatever.
it would spiral everything into further misconception.
whatever. like it hasn't already.
the sad thing is, nothing is ever gonna go back to the way it was last year September. well done.

i'm listening to mark ronson's "just" over and over again. i wish i had that cd.

*

life gives me shit and riddles.
so i'm gonna give one back.
not one shit of course.
one riddle.

i said i was gonna move it to someplace else
so you've gotta find it yourselves.
a place i created but abandoned
to a place where i say what i think and become a felon.
it's really easy, no i'm serious, really.
you've just got to think where i said what i thought, silly.
go back to where i started
becoming really REALLY retarded.
somewhere that only we know
so if you've got a minute why don't we go.
it will lead you to the answer to this stupid passage
in less than a minute, less than of course an ice age.
how stupid.

*

i miss gray.
i wish gray was here. gray would help this stupid situation. and maybe make me see the light in all of this.
gray's probably the only person who could make me change permanently. even i probably can't.
i mean sure, grace and people tell me they want me to change for the better, and not do this and that.
i'd listen, but after a while, for some rather odd reasons, i will just change back.
but somehow, i'd listen to gray.
i know gray always cares, somehow.
the only thing is that i can only meet gray in probably june. or even next year.
gray isn't gray's real name [of course]
neither is grey gray's favourite colour.
grey is MY favourite colour, other than red.
a rather odd combonatin, but all the same. i like it's ambiguity.
back to gray. hardly anyone knows gray. okay, quite a number of people do.
who is gray?
who do you think?

you know us humans. we talk an enormous amount of shit

xoxo
mandy

rotting

2008-02-29T12:35:00.002+08:00

i'm rotting in side, my flesh turns to dust. whisper are you dying in my ear

blogging in school. it's weird and saddening here in some weird way.
ohh haha.
hello everybody.
hello 211-ers.
hello tears.
hello fears.
hello loner-hood.

did it occur to you that you're treating me like air? i guess this is how boring loner is. and how alone you'd feel after a while. no one to laugh with or joke with, or even talk to.
it's like, i don't even know why i'm still alive. i HATE being alone. it's the worst thing that could happen to me, after failing all my tests. i see you're doing that tome now.
i don't know, but this is messing with my mind and sanity. haha.
good day mister keyboard. how're you doing?
ohh miss pencil. you look absolutely slim today. did you lose weight?

but now, i'm alone. yea, people are still talking to me, but not the nice, joking way i USED to talk to grace with.
it seems rather formal, like it's a burden talking to me.
why is that?
people sigh in disapproval when they look at me.
how amazing.
i wish i could just go back to what it was in the past.
if i were given one more chance...oh well no more regrets.
i'm stuck with being miss loner.
haha how happy.

seeing people laugh like i used to is rather sad. but i'm happy for them. at least they're in twos and can talk easier without a third person around :D
the problem is, LSC is coming. and i can't be alone by then. okay maybe i can.
but i don't want to ruin LSC for myself this year.

haha but i guess it don't matter to you guys anyway.

it's cold.

smiling as i'm rotting.
rotting as i'm thinking.
how nice it is

xoxo
mandy

PS stupid yuan ming says hello

bucking up

2008-02-28T21:58:00.003+08:00

'cause at least you admitted that you disliked me

woah. i knew people were angry with me.
but i didn't know so many.
not until grace told me. i knew she was angry with me, but i didn't know for what at first. then i read her blog and everything.
i can't remember what's the meaning of hypocrite. can someone tell me?
i'm serious.
oww, my left hand hurts. it can't type well.
anyway, i'm not upset [okay i'm lying].
i know i haven't been the best group member, or the nicest friend, or even a nice bestie, unlike the people who have been in my group THIS YEAR, like michelle, grace, vivian, chyi huey, hiu tung, lydia, susi and wei ting.
i know i've been a big slacker. and i am sorry.
yea grace would probably say "saying sorry isn't enough. you must let us see your efforts"
all right all right, i'm trying.
i'm trying to buck up on everything.
and i know i shouldn't be upset that people are angry with me cause i brought this upon myself. i mean, i'm like the most unproductive person [must have been the haircut -___________-]
but i don't understand about being a total bitch.
ohh wait. of course i do.
but i don't get it. why do you always think i plot to destroy you and make you feel guilty with my posts? i never intended that i swear.
it's not my fault if you want to feel guilty about whatever.

okay, now i guess i'm pretty much bestie-less, groupmates-less and a loner.
well done amanda, well done.
you've made yourself hated/despised/disliked and thought of as a bad kid.
good job amanda. everything you never wanted to be has been thrown on you.
it's entirely your fault.
sighs.
but thanks anyway, grace. at least you said what you felt.
sometimes i wish everyone else did. vivian, next time you're angry with me, tell me. else you're not helping me improve.
thanks.

xoxo
mandy

"and i can't, i can't wake up"

2008-02-24T18:22:00.004+08:00

i wasn't in singapore for about almost a week. i only got back last night.
why?
most of you should know, but those who don't, well, my granddad passed away on tues [like lydia sum]
i'm pretty much upset. part of it's 'cause my granddad's gone forever. but i'm pretty worried about how my granny is gonna take it.
i don't know, but i have a bad feeling about it. and another bad feeling is that someone else i know personally is gonna die later in the year.
creepy, but sometimes, i just know this kind of thing.
maybe it's gonna be me. i don't really mind you know? what with all the stupid accusations thrown and all. and how i've turned into a horrible monster even i hate.
i hate myself sometimes. and it feels horrible.
anyway, throughout the funeral/wake, i cried only a little. and that's 'cause i saw my granny crying.
she's really sad. i've never seen her this sad before.
i'd probably cry only when i have to send my grandma off.
and of course those two.
haha keep guessing who they are.
just keep guessing

i'm not happy.

maybe it's the MCR music. or the fact that i'm worried sick about my granny. or the fact that my only granddad is gone.
or the fact that confusion and all the stupid feelings i never wanted are welling up in me.
i hate you, emotions.
just go away.

i feel angry too. why?
everyone's been labeling me. this that. that this. like it's my fault all the time.
okay it IS my fault half the time. or more than half the tie.
but i can already imagine what you'd say.
say i'm a liability in this. say i haven't been doing my job.
thanks. i know. but is it always true?
i could win the award for the slackest woman on earth. thanks.
i think i should just cut out my tongue.
the angel just cut out her tongue
just quoting from a song.

i wish i cut my hair like a boy with fringe all around. i want my face hidden away. i don't want anyone to know me as amanda. i don't want anyone to know who i am.
then maybe they won't form impressions. i'll just be that silent person you passed everyday, listening to her music.
just let me disappear.

break me. you know you want to.
actually, i want you to.
i want to disappear.
it's funny how i recently watched this production called "deadmeat", about a suicidal teen and a person who know he has to die.
i told myself then i wouldn't be suicidal. i'm not, still.
but sometimes, i hate this place called earth.
i know i sound like i'm full of hate. but don't mind me. i'm just being an angry person.
i'll try to make this happy.
i guess all that was an aftermath of missing school for 4 days and finding out so much happened, and 'cause someone died.
smile. smile. smile. smile. smile. smile. smile.
the sun shines and i'm happy.
smile. smile. smile.
just let me die.

xoxo
mandy
PS the song playing is three flights down by yellowcard and the second song is i miss you by blink 182. enjoy.
PPS and yea, the music player thing is crappy i know

sometimes i feel like...

2008-02-18T19:00:00.002+08:00

three flights down

Lately I've found
You're bringing me down
And I can't stand to see me this way
I'll stick around but I wont make a sound
You already know what I'd say

I'd say you want to hit me where it hurts the most
To get me lyin' down And I'm on to you
Nothing ever works out like it should

Quiet on the front
The sky dropped the sun
It fell down on our faces again
I tried to run
You could see what I'd done
Now it's wearing off, wearing thin

Now where, out there
You be full of you enough to think I'm waiting up
And I'm onto you
And nothing ever works out like it should

Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes

I'm changing trains the station remains
Footsteps in the stairwell echo
I lost track of days
I found thousands of ways
But how to quit you, nobody knows

So leave me, you're free
It's three flights down to happiness
Make sure you close the door
And I'm onto you
Nothing ever works out like it should

Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes
Light in her eyes

xoxo
mandy

at first i feel bad for a while

2008-02-17T16:34:00.005+08:00

but then i just smile. i go ahead and i smile.

hello everyone :D
i'm happy. can you tell?
okay the above thing is from smile by lily allen.
SHE IS SUCH A LYRICAL GENIUS. haha okay, she's good.
but smile makes me laugh. for the benefit of those who don't know the song (such a pity), it's about how her guy cheated on her so she got all her friends to do HORRIBLE pranks on him.
revenge is sweet :]
no wonder grace thinks i'm vengeful o0
i think it's 'cause the english songs i take notice of are
1) sarcastic
2) sarcastic in a morbid, scary way, but is somehow funny
3) just plain happy-vengeful way.
ohh and did i mention my primary schoolmates are rather violent too :]
but i rather toughen up than stay happy with chinese songs :) after all, english music deals with diverse topics and not just romances and break ups.
and it's my kind of life.

ohh and zoey, ophelia likes bill too :D

okay anyway, let's have a moment of silence for the death of...
grace's blog.

okay it's over :D
i respect your decision to get rid of your blog. it's a heavy burden and after all, it's a horrible window to the soul.
i'm keeping mine though. this is my only ranting place to get things straight to people who have done something.
or at least, if i've offended someone or whatever.

okay before i go,

this is another of the egg pictures :]
it's by the same guy
{found this yesterday}

evil girl tries to make the broomstick man continue sweeping.
she thinks he sucks.
i think IT'S SO CUTE :D
{found this last december}

so sweet
but a little too sweet.
{found this last december}

i suddenly have a penchant for both bright and dark pictures :)
and i don't know, but this is pretty.
{found this last november}

this is by some singaporean kid.
it's not the best but it's okay and i think it's really sweet.
{found this on friday}

i'm infatuated with photos.
and adam of course :D

xoxo
mandy

mewps.

2008-02-16T22:50:00.009+08:00

i feel all better now :]
it isn't certain that i will stay happy, but now i'm fine.
i went to deviant art to look for pictures :D that makes me happy.
here are a few.

he's gay.
can you tell :]
haha but i love the pink belt. SO CUTE.
{found this on valentine's}

love their expressions :D
{found this today}

i absolutely love cartoons and colourful stuff :]
{found this last month}

ADAM!! he's MINE.
haha he looks so nice :D
please ignore the infatuation with a non-existent character.
{found this last month i think}

OMG THIS IS THE CUTEST.
it's an orange.
'nuff said.
{found this today}

*

i'm a nutty person.
i'm really sorry if i've hurt you :\
but ignoring me makes me sad too.
tell me what you have to say to my face.
it's better that way cause i can take it better than when i hear it from another person.
thanks.

xoxo
mandy

and i've got no pride

2008-02-16T18:11:00.005+08:00

i'm painting my nails now.
haha nail-therapy. do i have a problem or what? i get upset at the littlest things. ohh well. i guess it's so normal that you guys are used to my prima donna self :\ okay, i'm gonna try to stop all the attention seeking, asshole-y stuff that i always say or do. it's getting on everyone's nerves and it's getting on mine too.
it really makes me wanna just sleep until october or so.

i am small and the world is big.
everyone's different for now.
so how does it feel to be different from me.
or are we the same?

haha i'm not okay. not okay physically or mentally.

okay let's seeeeeeeeee

MONDAY
ehh what happened today? ohh yea, fell asleep in chinese class 'cause i was WAY tired and the class was WAY boring and i was WAY sad that cny was over ):
but at least i was away from _.
ANYWAYS, went to more than words to buy gift for mom and grace chua with vivan and grace.
i don't know if they could sense it, but i felt like we had some misunderstanding or distance between us three. maybe it's cause of the cny :\
but if that's the reason, it would just mean this friendship is reliant on the number of days we see each other.
i don't know
today i am mellow/happy.
and it was the beginning of the emoweek.
or brain stew if you must.
i told you i'm not all right.

TUESDAY
mom's and grace's birthday.
i also found out in the morning that ji yeon bought me the valentine's gift already.
i was happy, but now, i just want eyeliner, a good camera and lots of tears. but now my eyes feel like they're goona bleed. so i guess i don't need the eyeliner.
if you still don't know why i want those stuff, then at least you must know why i'm not all right.
ha anyways, had cca and the blahs. and grace seemed pretty unhappy with me. don't know why.
must have done something wrong. well, at least she was back to normal with vivian :] that's nice.
and cca was fine if i didn't think too much. mr ng wasn't there so we pretty much slacked. i like cca, but i like getting stuff done better.
ran 2.1 with whole club before cca. poor sec ones :\ shu min jia you!!
after that, bitched a bit with teresa.
but somehow we got a bit distant.
great. i shall christen today SOS. starting of shittiness.
i don't know. i just don't like feeling distant between friends. it's all right if i'm distant from classmates (sometimes) cause i have my cca people to fall on.
but now...yea.
today i was a little affected.

WEDNESDAY
can't really remember what happened.
just lots of teasing. like i did it with my cousin etc.
it was irritating that's all i know.
i don't know. i don't know a lot of things. like how i don't know if i'm actually sad or i just want to seek attention.
but attention from whom?
went on the bus to jurong point to get more valentine's gift. i don't know why, but i was happy for a while.
then i got home and read blogs and somehow became kind of upset.
but i put it to the back of my head cause of homework and everything.
today i was okay.

THURSDAY
upsetting. it's an upsetting valentine's.
yea i did get lots of supplies of endorphin emitting stuff.
but today grace didn't seem like she wanted to talk to me after i promised someone a _.
so i was upset.
funny how my mood changes because of a friend yea?
ran around the school, laughing, smiling. most of it wasn't real though.
i wish i could be happy again.
i wish people could stop hiding what they think about me behind their backs.
i recently found out why vivian's been angry with me. turns out it's cause "i treat her like a kid".
guess who told me that? grace.
i somehow wish it was vivian who told me that, so i could understand why she is ignoring me and giving me the dont care look.
but yea. nevermind. amanda doesn't need to know much. just enough to get her by.
but sometimes, enough isn't enough.
today i am quite upset.

FRIDAY
really upset. i shall skip about school. i totally didn't feel fine today, cause almost everyone ignored me.
went for club lunch. well, it was fine. sat beside daphne. she is such a sweetie.
then went to island with some of the sec ones. i can actually bitch WITH them :]
such nice sweeties.
they almost made up my day.
but i got upset, not cause of anyone, but cause of my computer.
grr.
today i am neutral. neutral cause everything evened out.

SATURDAY
today...
did kitchen trial stuff and baked blueberry cupcake.
funny how i was handling knives etc and i didn't feel like sticking it in me.
i guess its thanks to the people around me.
thank you.
shortly after i'm upset again. not really surprised.
talking to grace on msn now. it's kind of depressing.
funny how i used to try to cheer people up.
now i need the cheering up and no one's really doing it.
smile amanda smile.
thanks amanda.
i think you should go and die.
today i am suicidal. ohh wait. the day hasn't ended yet.

pray you'd see me tomorrow or on monday. oh wait of course you can.
i'm too much of a coward. i just guess i have no pride spelling names out.
since when was amanda a nice girl anyway.
since when was i up to your standards.
now you're telling me to let go of my friendship.
i don't know. that'd just mean a loner life.
thanks.

xoxo
mandy

PS i want opium. i mean this french song.
but the real thing won't hurt either.
PPS i found a song called in the end by linkin' park.
here's the lyrics. try to see what I'm trying to tell you. or just ignore.
just ignore. it happens all the time anyway.

(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

warnings never felt boring

2008-02-14T22:35:00.003+08:00

heyyyy
okay even though i'm a non-believer of this but still, because of all the presents
HAPPY VALENTINE'S!!

okay shall thank all the people who gave me stuff :] ahemshowoffahem

//ji yeon -- a BIG BIG BOX of toblerone
//grace -- two hand made foam roses and a ferrero rocher
//cheryl -- a nice hippo plushie and a pair of wedding bears o0 i have a feeling she got them from some toy set
//yuan ming -- hershey's
//jessica choo -- some choco hearts
// chu ning -- three toblerones
//miss foo -- candy
//mdm tye -- dark choco toblerone
//belinda -- m&ms
//mr lee -- choco aeroplane
//tcn sec 4s -- andes choco
//teresa -- cupcakes
//mortal -- some cappuccino candy
//mom -- choco cake

haha okay, not a lot of stuff.
but yea. lots of choco.
but i spent quite a lot of money too :\

marshmallow choco = $9
hershey's choco bars(2) = $3
rose making thing = $6.90
some paper which i didn't use = $1.80
bag of plushie hearts = $6.60 (shared cost with grace so i didn't pay $9.90)
total = $27.30
not to mention grace chua and mom's present
grace chua's present= shared cost, paid $4
mom's present = $5.80
grand total = $37.10

haha wow.
but thank god. got hongbao for ren ri. dad gave $1000 and mom gave $500.
first time it's so much o0 too bad i can't use all.

valentine's was rather boring, but it was a lot of running around to give presents. i hope dinnie and ~~leanne~~ mortal like their presents. sighs.
anyway, i don't expect much of anything.
not a popular kid remember?
anyways, promised gladys a present. sighs.
ohh wait, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLADYS.

i wanted to type some really angry and confused stuff. but i kinda toned down after a while. not so angry anymore.
more of sorting out my thoughts and not letting my heart rule my head -.- always happens.
and anyway, i'm sick.
and tired.
sick and tired of missing people.
sick and tired of trying to salvage stuff.
sick and tired of being accused sometimes.
sick and tired of being called some stupid names.
sick and tired of not acting on impulse like i used to.
i'm even sick and tired of being in this world.

i'm making myself feel worse now.
but at least there's my chemical romance. funny how something that's labeled as "emogoth" music( i don't believe it is anyway) can cheer me up.

after a while, after a bit of acting
everything isn't what it seems.
just doing small actions can flare people up when you're amanda.
it's never the same here.
but i like to see how you react.
the more angry you get, the closer i am to figuring humans out.

sometimes i read warning labels
because warnings never felt boring.

xoxo
mandy

i <|3 you

2008-02-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

you know what? forget it.
i don't care if my blog is banned from the school for a month.

FUCK YOU.

what the hell is wrong with you?
i'm just a rag doll again huh?

this blogskin is right.
I'm like cellophane.

ihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyou

~~xoxo~~ forget it. i hate you. ich ~~liebe~~ dich
mandy

sweet ruptured mind.

2008-02-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to feel now.
i'm a mixture of angry, upset, and disappointed.
and add in a little confusion too.

at first, during cca and after school i wanted to type a BIG BIG f word for the whole post.
but i decided not to, cause it just won't really make me feel better anyway.
not like blogging now would, but nevermind.

i don't know what the hell is wrong with you.
i don't know why you keep doing that.
you say you're hurt 'cause someone's been, well, ignoring you.
well, of course i'm happy to see it's normal now.
but do you have to do it to me?
do you really have to make me feel what you felt then, just 'cause i didn't?
don't you already know i'm having a huge turmoil now, with all the mixed feelings and confusion in me?
okay maybe not.

but it's like every time you've been hurt by something or someone, you turn to me.
i'm glad you do. at least i know you know i'm here to listen to you.
but after everything, you ignore me.
you get irritated at me like never before.
what is up with that?
are you angry just 'cause i listened to you?
what is wrong with that?
unless all you really want to do is lament on your blog about how no one would listen to you?
maybe you do it unconsciously.
but i don't know.

great, "4 in the morning" is playing. like i can't feel any worse -.-

you know what. i don't have a life.
all i'm living for is tomorrow.
a tomorrow that is wasted anyway.
cca people are driving me crazy.
classmates are driving me crazy.
ex-classmates are driving me crazy.
family is driving me crazy.
would a person drown in another's pain just so that other person would feel better?
wouldn't that person be a complete idiot?
well, i guess i am an idiot anyway.

but anyway, thanks ji yeon for making my day for two consecutive days. first cause she asked me to be her valentine (ahaha so cute) and second cause she actually bought me something.

and all you've left me with is my sweet, ruptured mind.

if these were my last words, would they be famous?
if my heart explodes, would you feel the tremors?

xoxo
mandy

you even poke the holes so i can breathe

2008-02-10T20:56:00.001+08:00

IM BACK!!!
missed me?
hahahaha.

anyways, cny was fun.
seriously, who doesn't have fun on cny if you're not malaysian/anywhere else other than singapore?
I PLAYED WITH FIREWORKS :] it's illegal i know.
but seriously, who cares during cny?

okay i won't go into details about what happened cause
1. it'd be too long
2. there are lots of stuff i did that YOU GUYS DON'T NEED TO KNOW UNLESS I WANNA TELL YOU. like the dares and truths me and my cousins did.

okay first day of cny was...aiya typical.
only i was in a town called tangkak :D
we went to church and then back to granny's house.
OMG MY COUSINS ARE SO SO SO CUTE.
and i've got a 10 year old aunt name kimberly and a 7 year old uncle named issac.
SO CUTE LAH.

then after first day rushed to ipoh on second.
AND MET MORE COUSIN :D
ohh man more cute cousins XD as in the younger ones
SO CUTE MAN.
haha then after that played lots and lots of blackjack and those other card games.
and when the younger ones slept, played psp for A LONG TIME (til 4 am) with my older cousins.
and we drank vodka too.
ohh man, im too lazy to continue.
let's just say we played with lots of pao and me and my older cousins played lots of psp, cards and truth or dare.
and the 16 year old one almost stole his dad's car keys to drive me around the neighbourhood.
SO COOL MAN. the 14 and 16 year old ones can drive and ride motorbikes already.
UNFAIR.

pictures another day.
blogger is so slow.
so stupid.

all i did was doze off on his shoulder and sleep beside him.
hey i was tired. what is wrong with that?
you didn't have to think we did it, did you?

do you know i almost cried when i yelled "im not your substitute girlfriend"?
it's got nothing to do with you. it's just the emotions running through me.
im reminded about lots of things i didn't want to remember.
you're a sweet guy, but sometimes, you go a bit too far with you jokes and teases.
and somehow, you've got 4 in the morning stuck in my head.
was it 'cause i watched you fall asleep at 4?
or was it 'cause it's been so long since someone cared so much and that song just popped up?

GRACE ARE YOU CHEERED UP NOW?
if you haven't go look for the lyrics to this song called "poprocks and coke" (i think that's the song anyway o0)
it's so nice and sweet.

sometimes you're so nice,
you even poke the holes so i can breathe

xoxo
mandy